Where did I go wrong financially?

I have a lot of questions, mainly if you're bringing in say £4000 a month, where is it all going? How much is your mortgage payment? I'd expect you to be putting away at least £2000-2500 per month if you're not spending extravagantly, so why do you only have £4000 in savings? What is the remaining balance on the mortgage and what is the interest rate, would you be better off putting the money in a high interest savings account rather than overpaying? Also your job, I presume you're chartered but your salary seems quite low given your experience, have you been with the same company a long time? I'd be looking at a strategic career move to improve salary.

Some will be better off, many others worse off. That's life. Being in a couple massively helps though. I'm your age and am in a very fortunate financial position thanks to clever (lucky) house purchase and both having very well paid jobs. But I don't know many people who have paid off their mortgage at my age. Most strive for bigger and better at this age, so money goes into up-sizing and home improvements, rather than being mortgage free.

They’ve probably had help from family along the way. Even a moderate amount of help at the right time can have a big impact down the line.

We have a nicer house than a lot of people on similar salaries largely because my dp was able to buy a house in his early 20s due to a deposit gifted from parents. It was £20k, so not absolutely massive amounts, but it got him on the property ladder at a very opportune time.

It’s easy to forget about these little leg ups.

Worth bearing in mind that the UK is a pretty unequal country. By the sounds of it, your friends (and/or some of their parents) are all right at the upper end. So it’s not that you’re doing anything “wrong” just that your “pond” is a very wealthy one. I’d also say that, while many people who are mortgage free at 40 did receive help from parents/inheritance, there are also plenty who did not.

Former accountant here (who scrimped for a bit to pay off a mortgage with DH decades ago when rates were sky high).

You either need to earn more money (which might be achievable; look at job sites) or spend less (yes that might mean a bit less eating out and ready meals).

You have income enough to ditch hefty phone contracts to buy a handset (refurb is fine) and SIM only if your workplace doesn't offer one. Ditch the gym, netflix and coffees. Set a target that is achievable, but maybe reward yourself with a frippery to keep you motivated.

The car is probably a whole new thread, but you are probably tied into that contract for now.

Another humble brag. It seems like the more people go through financial difficulty in this country, the more posts we get from people making up a problem just so that they can have others tell them how well off they are.

Our combined income is less than what you earn. What do you spend it on? Do you save for things you need? How have you got into debt?

You have paid off 40% of your mortgage. They have paid off 40% to 50% each. So they only own half a house each, about the same as you.

2 people on 30K each will take home more than you OP due to less tax and more benefit.
But beyond that... you don't know people's full financial picture., They could be working extra hours, (maybe cash in hand), have a side business, small inheritance you just don't know.

YABVVU. Especially for an accountant.

I don't know anyone who paid off their mortgage by 38! I also know plenty of people who can't get a mortgage at all. Do you move in v wealthy circles?!

Type your after-tax pay in here and find out just how wealthy you are! You are probably in the top 10% of the households in the UK!

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

Seriously? You're 38. You're doing fine. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

Given one in three millennials are never expected to own their own homes at all, ever in their lifetimes, you cannot seriously believe you are quite badly off and somehow disadvantaged in life. Honestly, I'm in agreement with @Dguu6u!

Are you now on the maximum you would expect for an accountant? If so is there further training you could do to expand your horizons?

It sounds to me as if you are doing well enough at 38 not to reproach yourself for not doing better. At 36, I was two years into what is now a 29 year marriage. DH had just started his own business. Childless, I was the primary breadwinner. But I owned a London flat (in negative equity the 1990s, and subsidising the mortgage as it wasn't fully covered by rent payments). But I eventually years later-- sold the flat at a decent profit, and paid off our mortgage in full with one cheque at about age 47 on the house we still occupy. Since then, we have paid into pensions, and built DH's business. There is no single infallible route to financial success. We all make the best decisions we can with the information available. It's perhaps easier if you work as an employee and know the T&C. I preferred freelance work; more risk, but better rewards too, and under my control. And for much of my working life, I have preferred working contracts because I could always sell myself into the next project, but I'm not a natural employee. I would struggle to get a job. I know this because I retrained for a mainstream profession and haven't worked since.

It is like another world on here at times, I managed to pay off my small mortgage at 53 by doing masses of overtime in my not very well paid job, I do not even know anyone who earns £68K though I do know a few couples whose joint income exceeds this. I have a small amount of savings and when I read posts like this I feel like a total and utter failure, someone who has no talent, no ability and who has just wasted their life. I do not have any debts but when I read things like this post I feel inadequate and worthless

Probably sensible to admit that I have always been a bit less risk averse than most women tend to be, that I wasn't a mum until I was 43, and that I hated feeling useless during my 50s.

I think this is part of the problem though, you’d expect that if you’re in the top 15-20% of income in the country to have at least a partly luxurious lifestyle……living in an average 2 bed flat, food shopping at Aldi and a non-luxurious foreign holiday per year plus a couple of nights in a cheap premier inn along the way isn’t what people really expect from top earners is it?!? Yes, I get that we’re better off than most (and lucky to have property and savings) but it definitely isn’t a lifestyle of luxury and frivolous spending. “Splurging” for me is buying knickers in M&S rather than Tesco!

Almost inevitably they are benefiting from unmentioned help from inheritances / bank of mum and dad etc and / or stretching the truth.

Comparison is the thief of joy as they say… do you get matched pension contributions from your job to the 8% or similar?

@Lifeomars don't take that message from here, the OP is an accountant, I'm sure there are many happy accountants but I would not be one of them. You have done just fine in life, and you have a home that is paid off in retirement which many people, including on here, would long to have.

I’m 37 and don’t know anyone my age close to paying off their mortgage. We are nowhere near

I’m also an accountant, and also late thirties. The people I know who have paid their mortgages have either had inheritance help or have accumulated equity as part of their jobs. Aim for a c-suite career path and you will be able to get equity as part of your remuneration. A slice of the pie ! That’s where the money is in your line of work.

But I think you’re financial situation sounds completely normal and something many people would aspire to.

@Lifeomars Congratulate yourself! You have achieved the freedom of mortgage release. No one can relocate you against your wishes. You have a significant asset, and you have done it yourself. If you still have living parents, something may come your way in due course, but enjoy them while you can. We/DH inherited a useful sum (£100k) this year at 67 years old. But in reality, we had the opportunity to earn well so that's going to be gifted to our DC as a kickstart on a home.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
There will slways be someone better off than you. Enjoy what you have!

Bloody hell OP. I'd say you're doing pretty well if you're earning £68k a year as an accountant despite being apparently unable to understand money or to budget.