Where did I go wrong financially?

There is always someone better off. May be try for a higher paid accountancy job. £68k is not very much even for the regions. Average profit share at EY is about £760k a year. Your £68k is less than even a newly qualified lawyer gets in London.

Several very financially smart people I know say that if you do a lot of mileage, having a car on finance is the best option. If you don’t do a lot of mileage however - buy secondhand.

The people who have nothing left on their mortgages either had massive deposits or windfalls or earn much more than you. Same re the fancy car.

You know whether you’ve been overspending or not (you are an accountant) - and since you don’t seem to think you have, just assume your peers have more money coming in than you. (Or maybe they are bare bones frugal, but you’d know if they were, and hardly anyone wants to live like that).

You’d likely be better off boosting your pensions and investments than speed paying your mortgage.

Take this opportunity to review your financial state and your budget. See 3 financial advisors and ask them how to invest. (Do not see mates of mates or anything like that.)

Vespod is a good newsletter / podcast for women who want to get across their finances, Miss moneypenny also wrote quite a good book. The weekend papers have good personal finance pages. Work on educating yourself

Hi OP, I'd concur that your financial position is mediocre at best but I'd congratulate you for sharing it like this and hopefully you are reflecting on all the advice and attention you've received. I'm sure you are finding it useful!

Whether it's really "too late" is a remarkably abstract concept ultimately only you can answer. I wish you well and hope you find peace.

Finance as in lease.. rather than buy outright

You run in unusual circles. I'm 33. My friends have been getting on the property ladder in the past 5 years (I'm still not). My bf is the only person I know around my age that is mortgage free and it is because his mum died. I do have one friend that I have no clue how she can afford multiple properties. But that is one person. So your friend group is defo not average

How long is a piece of string??

Maybe they had help from their parents, push meth on the side or had a lottery win.

Who knows?

Your question isn't about you, it's about other people and the fact that they are (outwardly?) more successful

To be on £68k and only have £4k in savings and also having debts doesn't really sound like someone who is "very financially savvy"

I think the key point here is all people have different priorities in life. For you it's your mortgage and it also seems you surrounded yourself with people who are similar. Otherwise I cannot imagine why was it even important to your friend to mention that in 1 year she will be mortgage free or why it made you feel like you screwed your finances up

UK is not the most fantastic place for salaries. Again often you might need to move places in the country or even different countries to negotiate a better salary etc . You are on a very good salary for the area you live in but obviously its all different depending on individual situations.

If it makes you feel better…. I’m 48 and have £600k outstanding on my mortgage

How much was your car OP? You say you can’t work without a car, fair enough, but did you buy a brand new £30k car?

Well, on the plus side you have a home, you're relatively young, and you have a good income. Now it's time to seriously get your head around where you're going wrong, because obviously something is wrong if you earn that much and have £4k savings. You say you're not extravagant but £5000 a month is going somewhere. How much is your HP? How much is your mortgage?

Okay some people will pay off their mortgage at 38. MOST people will be nowhere near that- if they've even managed to get on the housing ladder at all. We're in our early 50s and are proud to tell people we only have a few more years to go on ours. We know so many people that are renting at our age and older, either because they never bought in the first place, or because they couldn't afford to buy somewhere after getting divorced.

The people you know really do not represent the majority of 38 year olds. Of course, some will be better off, but many are much worse. At 38 with primary aged children, no savings, credit card debt and an overdraft I'd have been over the moon to be in your financial position.

I would advise trying to move away from the car finance though, although you'll probably have to go for an older model to start with. If you used the 4k you have in savings to buy a car and then save the amount you would have used for the finance payments each month, how long will it take until you'd have the 4k back? You may feel a bit uncomfortable not having that amount saved but long term if you keep saving the same amount instead of using it for car finance you'll go way past the 4k and also be able to buy newer cars going forwards.

As PP have mentioned, this is not a race- you're in it for the long game.

A second hand car? You do earn £68,000.
A little tone deaf, perhaps.

Don't beat yourself up. I'm in a similar situation and I've been reevaluating where I'm going wrong.

I've been working for 5 years now -- since going back to Uni for postgraduate studies. I earn €95k p/y, live in a rented apartment while my own place is being built (ready next year), have €80k home equity (mostly due to increased neighbourhood valuation), take care of my teenage son, brothers, and mum, have €500 in savings and €4,500 debt. I feel like I'm failing adulting.

My plan is to follow the 50-30-20 rule which recommends 50% of your net income towards needs (bills), 30% towards wants and 20% towards savings. Once I've established a pattern of discipline, I will turn things up a little and set aside 25% of my income for an index fund (average yearly return of 10%) and 10% towards a savings pot.

I'm the same OP, same salary progression and I'm 43. We bought late (34) and prob only have about 250k equity between us, we'll be paying gigantic mortgage til late 60s. People made money through buying houses earlier in life, it's a bigger earner than most jobs. (My take home on 68k is £3500, I do pay some into pension and childcare vouchers though.)

I think that Op has started this thread knowing what a great position she is in financially. Earning twice the national average, living outside of London, having a large amount of equity in her mortgaged house, and aged under 40. She can't be that unaware of the situation of many other people in this country at the moment.

Paying off mortgages very early is quite unusual surely?

Much of this boils down to the fact that you're single and presumably living alone. It's so much harder when there is only one income coming into the house and that has to cover every single bill with no extra support from elsewhere.
It could be that your friends have had support from bank of Mum and Dad - that makes a big difference.
Also some of your friends that are driving around in newer cars may be doing so on borrowed money/lease deals. Some of my friends are doing the same but they borrowed the money to do so and many are still paying off their mortgages in their 60s. By contrast, my car is 13 years old but I've paid off my mortgage - my financial priorities are different from theirs.
I think your priorities are probably different from your friends and are quite honestly preferable, even if you feel poorer - you're not honestly😁

Oh stop it 😂 you're on 68k a year outside of London, own a house and have a car on finance... all of this with £4K sat in the bank.

You obviously have been financially savvy.

What you're asking is why don't you have as much as other people.

All the married couples need £360k of equity to be where you are if they split. Don't compare.

Sometimes I think Mumsnet is just an alternative universe...

You have a high salary (the average salary in the UK is something like £32,000) , a house of your own, a car and some savings, pay into a pension and no dependants.

Frankly you have little to complain about.

I still have a mortgage at 76. I had to remortgage each time I wanted to update my London flat. So a mortgage for 45 years then.

I don't know anyone who paid off their mortgage at 38 unless very generous parents input.
Yous kind like your doing well.

Ugh, another one of those threads that makes me hate Mumsnet. It's really easy to look up average salaries, mortgages and average pay off ages. You are rich. Your friends are richer. Pity us povvos.