Where did I go wrong financially?

I don't know anyone who is mortgage free at 38.

You're an accountant and you need to ask where you went wrong financially? Surely you have a better insight into your own finances than we all will, given that A) You're you and the one living your life - you know what you spend on what etc and B) You're an accountant!

I have no answers for you and I'm just as baffled as you seem to be as to why you aren't doing better financially. I'd be living the dream on your salary.

That being said, I guess the part of the UK you live in is really relevant here, as is the number of children or other dependents and your general expectations/lifestyle.

Break it down and I'm sure you will soon see where your money is going and area's you can improve on.

Stop the mortgage overpayments for a few months, save up and buy out right. Once you've done that you'll have that money spare to either put on the mortgage or into savings.

68k at 38? That's over twice the national average.

Relationship breakdown can be expensive. And so is debt - even if it's interest free now, perhaps it wasn't recently?

You can always start from where you are, always. Check your pension, think about income protection or critical illness, think about renting out a room and increasing your savings or paying extra on your mortgage now. Are your savings in at least one ISA?

I hate carrying debt but there's no doubt if it's interest free you might do better to keep growing your savings etc.

im not saying you shouldn’t have a car but wha
t I’m telling you is not everyone has one on finance.

people save up and buy them or buy a super cheap car, it tides them over whilst they save.

most people haven’t paid off their mortgage at 38. YLou must have a unique group of friends.

do a financial review. Where is your money
going? Then take action to change wha
t you don’t like but £68k should give you more than £4k savings and debt

So I have never earned more than about £37k, now part time too so pro rata that for the past three years. My husband is on £54k and that's been for about four years, before that much less. We've got about £300,000 equity in our house. I'm 31, he's 36. But bear in mind if you divide that that would be £150k each, plus we've got about £12k in savings. So you're doing better than us and I feel we're doing well. And we got very lucky that we bought in a cheap area in 2016/2017 which has gone up in price a lot. The other thing is that among that we've been gifted about £50,000 by a relative. So I bet a lot of your friends have had inheritance or gifts of some sort but people keep these things under wraps so it looks like they've got that far themselves. I will say though I have three, soon to be four children. So I think if you have no dependants and you're earning £68k there's definitely ways to save more to avoid lifestyle inflation.

I don’t know what circles you mix in but I don’t know anyone who paid off their mortgage at 38. I didn’t get a mortgage until I was 34. Being single does make a difference too.

Also please just buy a cheap car outright! We've saved so much never putting a car on finance.

I'm the same age as you. We have approx 180k equity in our home too. Our combined salaries are less than your single one, but im PT and DH is FT. We own our cars outright and I was a SAHM for a number of years too. We do have decent savings. However, we had around 50% deposit saved for our first home though, which massively helped.

Your pension will be infinitely better than mine and you have to remember you have been doing it yourself too, which is always harder.

Of my friends, one has over 350k equity due to rising house prices in her area; one is renting with no hope of ever buying and the 2 others are very financially sound and I'd hazard a guess have no debt except for mortgage.

I'd say you're not doing too badly, so don't worry.

First thing is to stop believing what people tell you.
Secondly, it isn't a race. It's about whether you are happy in how you have spent your money.

You are late 30s. You have a home with a reasonable amount of equity, a car, little other debt and a reasonable standard of living.

Numbers don't mean much because your situation in rural Wales is not comparable with your situation but in London.

Are you married or do you own your home on your own?
How does your enjoyment of the money you have compare to others lifestyles? Do you have children? Pets?

Remember comparison is the thief of joy!

There are limited options here - their extra money (if you are sure they are better off than you) must have come from somewhere. These are the options that come to mind;

1. They earn more (either individually or as a couple)
2. They were gifted money by their parents (I suspect this might be the main differential)
3. They have been able to add value to previous properties they have owned and thus paid down chunks of mortgage as they have moved.

Why not ask them? I would ask a good friend about their finances and not feel awkward about it. They can fob you off if they don't want to tell you.

Most people I know at 38 are trying to get on the ladder, or are just on it, not paid off mortgages. I think you're being fed some exaggerated versions of their situations.

You're 38, in your prime. You have a home that you can afford. You have a car. A good job. A good education that means your career prospects are secure. You have a pension. You've seemingly paid off student debt. Your mortgage will be paid off before you reach retirement age. You are financially independent.

Add all of that together and I think you'll find you're better off than 'most people'.

I don't think you've gone wrong at all (apart from maybe the car finance). But you're mistaken if you think most other 30s/40s are financially sorted.

I would try not to compare with others. They may have had help from parents or in laws, pooled money with partner/DH etc. I don't think you're in a bad situation at all and have plenty of time to make progress with the mortgage and for your salary to go up. Also there will be people better off and worse off than you - just try and make the best decisions for your life. You also need to have some fun/live life rather than only being financially savvy!

Are you sure these better off friends didn’t get alot of initial help from bank of mum and dad/inheritances etc that they just didn’t mention? Even just being given that initial help with house deposit can mean they bought before house prices went up and years ahead of you on paying their mortgages off and possibly got a lower interest rate of deposit enabled them a low LTV. I also know of people who are regularly gifted thousands by family so then save thousands by never having to take our car finance etc

Where's your money going, what are your outgoings as that's a great wage and I would have thought you could have saved more than you have? Are you buying lots of expensive clothes, holidays, eating expensive food and going out a lot? Your money must be going somewhere?

I think you need to turn this around and think about your financial goals, not any mistakes you might have made. You have got so much potential to save/invest on your salary. You don't sound particularly money savvy - that's ok, I wasn't at your age either (and I'm not that much better now). There are tons of resources, websites and podcasts out there - start thinking about what you want to achieve, not where you've gone wrong (I don't think you've gone wrong, btw).

You’re 38 and nearly everyone in your social circle has paid off their mortgage.

That’s highly unusual.

So yeah, if you’re comparing yourself to people like that you’re going to find yourself wanting, in a financial sense at least.

You sound like you’re doing just fine to me.