Old fashioned way FTmum

Whether you are wrong or right, you need to seriously back off.

She can read, I presume. She will have health visitors and antenatal to refer to. She doesn't need a friend sticking her oar in because she thinks that she's doing preparing for a baby wrong.

My baby is due in two months, and I haven't bought anything. Sue me.

Have you considered backing off and stopping trying to bully her into doing what you want?

for her sake please back off. You have no idea what’s going on for her. She may have experienced previous losses which is making her reluctant to have baby stuff in her home. It’s 2 months away. Does she actually want your hand me downs? It’s none of your business, it’s not illegal to put baby in different room I know plenty of parents who have done it.

You sound very overbearing, you need to take a big step back & let her parent in her own way its nothing to do with you!

You really need to address your issues first, please stop hassling her

She feels you’re lecturing her because you are. I hadn’t bought much with either of mine two months before they were due. Leave the poor woman alone. I agree on the baby being in with parents at least to start with but this is her baby, not yours, and you have to unclench now. It’s her pregnancy. Her baby. Calm down.

Over 90 000 babies are born prematurely and stuck in nicus in UK per year
1 in 4 babies UK born still born
1 in 45 with life altering disability

And you wonder why people don't buy the 'kit' in advance. Please try and imagine the pain of having to offload stuff you can't use for one of the above reasons. Charity shops don't take much baby stuff, but having a living reminder of pain in your house. Not fun or easy.

Leave her alone!

Yes it totally is a cultural thing. If you do not back off and respect her way of doing things she will soon be an ex friend. There are significant differences in babycare and childrearing between Central Europe and Britain.

Back off Op. you clearly mean well but you’re at best irritating her and potentially really upsetting her here.

It's not a cultural thing to find this behaviour overwhelming.

Regardless of culture people don't tend to like or listen to busybody know-it-alls. Especially in pregnancy when everyone suddenly has an opinion and it's always a different one. Don't you remember that? I know you mean well, but you're going about it the wrong way. It's too late now to fix it because she's already annoyed. Now you can only back off and be nice.

Next time be thrilled and at some point tell them that if they ever want a listening ear you'll be there for them.

I'm British and had a friend who took it upon herself to "pass on information" and stuff. I found it incredibly overwhelming, irritating and upsetting. She was also far more excited about my baby than I was (admittedly I had antenatal depression, but the excitement of friends and family made me feel so much worse about myself and my baby).

Yes, unsurprisingly other countries have different ways of parenting and different medical advice. She may well judge some of the things you do, as it differs from the advice in her country. Best keep your comments to yourself.

If you want to keep the friendship you WILL need to stop sharing information. She doesn't want it so it comes across as bullying if you keep doing that.

Unless it's your own (young) children don't give advice when it's not asked for.

Nonsense, 1 in 4 babies is NOT stillborn!!

I’m British and I’m irritated with your interfering. I’m really offended that you’re gutted for her baby because she’s doing things differently to you.

It might be cultural. But everyone here has told you you’re being over-bearing and to back off. You are on her case. If strangers on the internet can tell, then you’re definitely on her case.

@TheUnintentionalHorcrux 1 in 4 babies UK born still born

Way off. It’s 1 in 250.

It was a typo. Point still stands.

But inevitably, when we talk I share the information I have. I am posting here precisely because I don't want to ruffle any feathers.

Inevitably???!!

Many posters have told you not only that you are doing way more than ruffling feathers, but that your interference is totally over the top and you'll destroy this friendship if you continue.

Will you listen...

1 in four in miscarriage

Not buying anything for baby until they arrive is/was definitely a thing, I think for bad luck/counting your chickens if the baby was stillborn.

As for separate nursery straight away, no it isn't the done thing here and now. But I have a friend who was struggling with her MH and found that with baby next to her, she was staying up listening to her breathing and the lack of sleep was worsening her anxiety. So she moved baby to her own room at 2 weeks and felt a lot better. They still bonded and she's a lovely mum.

Those stats are ALL very wrong

50,000 babies born premature and many of those won’t need to go to NICU

Your still birth stat is bonkers… it’s one in 250, not 1 in 4!

Wtf? Did you just make up these statistics for fun?

1 in 250 babies are stillborn
1 in 45 have a congenital abnormality which is NOT the same as a life altering disability.

It might well be cultural- lots of countries do things differently (for better or worse or just different). Ultimately this is her baby so she (and her partner) get to make the parenting decisions. You don’t need to be ‘gutted’ for her baby, her midwife/health visitor will probably give her advice about safe sleep etc. And if she decides to sleep in another room then that’s her choice, lots of people do decide that everyone sleeps better if baby is in they’re own room before 6 months and SIDS risks are still low overall and the parents/baby still bond.

It’s totally fine not to buy stuff until right before the baby is born (or even after- Amazon do next day delivery or there are 24/7 supermarkets if she needs something quickly). In some ways it’s probably sensible, I over-prepared and ended up with things that I didn’t need or that my baby didn’t like.

Honestly I wouldn’t offer advice unless she directly asks for it or asks for your opinion. If she’s not taking it well then back off. She can ask her healthcare providers if she has any questions or look up information on any of the hundreds of websites/books/apps devoted to pregnancy, birth and childcare.
Parenting is really individual and what works for you won’t necessarily be the same thing that works for her (in fact what worked for my first baby didn’t even necessarily work for my second). Yes, her decisions might be influenced by cultural practices but they might also just be personal preferences.