To be furious with DP

You're endangering the lives of you, baby & other people on the road due to 'always being so fuckin tired'. When you're tired you can't concentrate properly. So, unfortunately (sigh) the time has come for him to start making his own way into work.

Oh dear, however will he manage? His attitude annoyed me, I can only imagine how angry it made you!

But even if there is a backlog in lessons, he has booked in hasn’t he??

He needs to find an alternative way to get to and from work at least 3 days a week.

Why can’t he cycle if it’s a 10 minute drive? If he got up and got on with the day at 4:45 he could cycle further.

I hope he pays for the petrol.

These set ups are okay when there are no children involved. If you have a second child you will still be running around after Mr I can’t cycle or organise a colleague to pick me up. I’m sure he is selfish in other ways too.

I would be furious with him after this morning and would not be driving him to work any more ever. What an arsehole. And a man child to boot if he can't actually drive a car because he hasn't taken/passed his test.

Yeah, I wouldn’t be spoken to like that when I’m doing someone a massive favour, tell him to grow up and learn to drive. And until then, get a bus pass. Arsehole.

He needs to get himself on a waiting list for driving lessons and get a bike in the meantime. It’s taken my DP over 2 years to learn to drive during covid due to massive waits - currently 5 months for driving tests at the moment. He needs to get the ball rolling

He can learn to drive himself or catch the bus, what a POS, stop being a taxi for him, it's not OK for him to talk to you like that.

also i exclusively bf our DCs - my DH did night wakings, changed nappies, brought me drinks of water etc.

Oh OP I get your husband wants to be punctual but it’s really not ok to speak to you like that.
Hopefully he will apologise tonight. Either way an honest discussion is needed. Driving him all over the place with a newborn isn’t sustainable. He at least needs to get his own way there on the days he’s closest to home. He needs to learn to drive but I understand it’s not cheap.
These early days with baby are tough and you need to rest when you can and not drag yourself and baby out of the house so early. Sending hugs.

I feel so sorry for you. You really should not be driving when you can hardly open your eyes.

This isn’t even a you thing, last minute poonamis as you put them in the car seat are a baby’s MO! And yours is only 2 months old, you’re not even out of the fourth trimester. People in his working situation usually get lifts from other people they work with, not their post partum DPs.

What did I just read?

He needs to learn to drive and until he does he can get the bus or get a lift with a co-worker.

Can you not see how fucked up this is? You are not his mother.

God, he's a twat! Tell him to stop expecting lifts and sort himself out like a grown up. Get a push bike, an electric bike, a vespa, a motorbike!

Op, I feel so angry in your behalf. He is an awful man to be so unkind. Of course you are tired and I'm amazed he is expecting you to feel any different.

Does he have form for lack of empathy and kindness?

A labourer that can’t drive? That’s ridiculous, time for him to get himself some lessons. There’s backlogs everywhere, he needs to get on several waiting lists and get his inability to drive sorted.

YANBU. He can get the bus as clearly it’s not working for either of you. And frankly you’ve better things to do. He can ‘get up and go’ to the bus stop tomorrow, you are not his taxi service especially if he can’t even be bothered to say thank you or be kind to you.

well the way he spoke he spoke to you didn't go down well, did it, so he'll have to suck it up. DH tiptoed about yesterday morning to get everyone up, do the kids' lunches and get himself to work, because he was aware that I'd been up in the night and was tired. Long way off babies, but sometimes in one of us is tired so the other one lets them have a kip. That's just normal.

I don’t understand how he has a job that is based at all different sites if he can’t drive. He needs to grow up and learn to drive and if there are back logs he should at least be on a waiting list

Why the fuck can’t he drive?? He's married and has a child and a job but he can’t drive? Is he not embarrassed to be having to rely upon his poor sleep deprived wife to drive him around everywhere? It’s like he’s a pre-teen and you’re his mum. What a total twat - I would find this wildly unattractive in a man.

Get him a bike and tell him he either uses that or learns to drive and gets his own car. You deffo don’t need to drop a grown man at work on a daily basis!! This would turn me right off never mind the lack of parenting support. X

when I read the op I just knew this man wouldn’t be able to drive.

He’s a pathetic waste of space.

He is taking the piss op.

Let him know you won't be spoken to like that and things need to change right now.

You deserve a lot better than being treated like that.

Why does he have a job all over if he can't drive?? I can't but work close enough to get to and make sure everything I need to get to is walkable/can get there on local transport.

He needs a different plan.

You can teach him to drive. The whole waiting for lessons bollocks is just an excuse.

I don't often look for the OPs other threads, but often when a topic like this comes up, it's just one in a myriad of issues. OP I don't think this man is pulling his weight. I don't think he really has your back.

Tell the lazy c•nt to buy a bike a d get himself to work, he's not a child. You are absolutely not being unreasonable and this doesn't bode well that well for you.