Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DP

480 replies

babypanther · 25/04/2023 09:09

Had a huge argument with DP this morning because we were running late to take him to work. He was literally a couple of minutes late if that. I was rushing to get 2 month old DD ready, after being up with her through the night, she pooped just before we were due to set off and had a dirty nappy which needed changing before we could go, and I then had to drive DP to work.

I apologised for making us run late because I was tired. DP had a go saying I should just get on with it and sitting in bed doesn’t help, I should get up and get on with the day. I had been up from around 4:45am feeding DD, then she didn’t settle until almost 5:30, and then had to be up at 7 so I could take DP to work. My eyes were so heavy I could barely keep them open and I just wanted to sleep but obviously can’t when I have a baby to look after and had to drive DP to work. DP said I’m “always fucking tired” and went to work in a huge mood without kissing me goodbye.

AIBU to be furious? I literally do all the night feeds and then get up and take him to work, I never say, “I’m really tired could you get the bus” Which I would quite often like to do! I had apologised for us running late but I really don’t think I should be made to feel bad for being understandably tired from looking after our 8 week old baby.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 25/04/2023 09:28

Somebody with this attitude who needs driving to work every day like a child - what a Prince!

Topseyt123 · 25/04/2023 09:28

babypanther · 25/04/2023 09:17

@dogandbonio I drive him to work every day as he can’t drive. He is a labourer so works all over the local area. Sometimes it’s a 10 min drive, sometimes up to half an hour.

Then he'll have to learn to drive. Until then he either gets the bus as you mentioned, or gets someone to pick him up (and they might quickly get fed up of that if he is making no effort to learn).

I'd stop being so available for him. The driving him to work stops now.

Blondey2023 · 25/04/2023 09:29

Blondey2023 · 25/04/2023 09:27

Time for your 'D'H to get some driving lessons....

Just read he's your partner. Don't marry this guy.

OneMoreSecondChance · 25/04/2023 09:30

Can’t drive because he hasn’t learnt to, or can’t drive because he’s been banned?

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 25/04/2023 09:31

It’s really dangerous to drive on such little sleep. For that reason alone he needs to get himself to work and because he’s a grown man who is capable of making a baby but not of taking himself to work or making sure that the mother of his child is okay .

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 25/04/2023 09:31

He's got you well-trained to be a complete doormat.

It stops now.

How does he get home from work? Tell him tonight that after the way he spoke to you this morning, you will not be driving him to work any more. It's up to him how he gets there, like a big boy.

He needs to learn to drive! Especially as baby gets older and needs to be taken places or you'll be the family taxi driver for ever.

Thebigblueballoon · 25/04/2023 09:31

I’d be telling him to fuck right off!! You do ALL the night feeds and you have the audacity to be tired?! Nope. I’d seriously tell him to do one and get the bus. Doesn’t he drive?! “Just get on with it”?! What a disrespectful pigarse.

fiftyandfat · 25/04/2023 09:32

He is a grown up. Why on earth is it your responsibility to drive him to work?

Aquamarine1029 · 25/04/2023 09:32

Stop driving him to work! That's absolutely ridiculous. He can get the bus or learn to drive. He is taking total advantage of you are you're letting him.

NeedToChangeName · 25/04/2023 09:32

My eyes were so heavy I could barely keep them open

If that's true, then it's not safe for you to drive

Original poster
babypanther · 25/04/2023 09:33

@OneMoreSecondChance no he’s not been banned. He has never learned to drive and where we live there’s currently a backlog of waiting lists for all driving schools so unable to book lessons.

I am going to suggest he gets the bus from now on but I imagine it won’t go down well.

OP posts:
Seas164 · 25/04/2023 09:34

He thinks you should get up and get on with the day?

I think he should get himself a fucking bike or a bus pass and use it. Joker.

Your goals for this one short life do not include on demand taxi driver for this useless rude entitled shit, tell him to get bent and make his own way to work like a big boy and learn to stand on his own two feet.

He's not twelve and you're not his mother.

Pixiedust1234 · 25/04/2023 09:34

He needs to learn to drive, catch a bus or call a taxi.

You need to never have another child with this abusive man. Because he is.

greyhairnomore · 25/04/2023 09:35

I'd be telling him to get himself to work. I'm taking a wild guess he doesn't get up with the baby at night ?
Have you asked him why he thinks you're 'always fucking tired ?'

What about a 50cc scooter / moped ?

Awimboway · 25/04/2023 09:36

babypanther · 25/04/2023 09:33

@OneMoreSecondChance no he’s not been banned. He has never learned to drive and where we live there’s currently a backlog of waiting lists for all driving schools so unable to book lessons.

I am going to suggest he gets the bus from now on but I imagine it won’t go down well.

That's his problem OP, not yours. It's completely unrealistic and unustainable to expect you to chauffeur him around everyday (even without a baby in tow). He needs to grow up and sort himself out.

Thebigblueballoon · 25/04/2023 09:36

babypanther · 25/04/2023 09:33

@OneMoreSecondChance no he’s not been banned. He has never learned to drive and where we live there’s currently a backlog of waiting lists for all driving schools so unable to book lessons.

I am going to suggest he gets the bus from now on but I imagine it won’t go down well.

I feel your pain OP, my partner doesn’t drive. He never has. (He was in an accident when he was younger and he’s now nervous about cars). But in the 13 years we’ve been together, not once has he asked me to drive him anywhere. He gets the bus if he needs to. Luckily he works from home now 99% of the time, and I do drive him places if I want to and am able to. Your partner is an ungrateful tit.

Awimboway · 25/04/2023 09:36

Unsustainable*

loveisanopensore · 25/04/2023 09:36

This sounds dangerous. Extreme tiredness coupled with the stress of dealing with a spoilt brat.

CanIbeRio · 25/04/2023 09:37

He's being incredibly selfish and not thinking about your welfare one bit. He needs to show some consideration for you and think of a way he can get himself to work and let you rest up. It's not safe for you to be driving when you can barely keep your eyes open....he is putting yourself and your baby at risk. I'd be booking him some driving lessons and showing him the entry in the dictionary that defines empathy 💐

Breezycheesetrees · 25/04/2023 09:37

Oh honestly OP, just boot him out. I know that's a bit glib, but life really is too short and precious to waste on a lazy, uncaring man boy who will always prioritise himself over his child and partner. Being on your own is surely preferable to putting up with this shit, since you're doing all the hard work on your own anyway? What positives does he actually bring to your life?

pinkyredrose · 25/04/2023 09:38

What a horrible cunt he is. 'Always tired'? Ffs, why does he think that is?

Please don't give him any more lifts, he doesn’t deserve them.

LizzieSiddal · 25/04/2023 09:39

@babypanther I am going to suggest he gets the bus from now on but I imagine it won’t go down well.

Well that’s his issue. Tell him he needs to stop moaning and just get in with his day!

Also tell him that if he stops being so rude to you in the mornings, you may have a change of heart and beable to take him to work occasionally, if it’s convenient for you.

littleripper · 25/04/2023 09:39

He can't drive and has a job which requires him to drive. Not got a leg to stand on has he? I'd refuse to get up tomorrow.

Powerplant · 25/04/2023 09:39

I’m fuming for you. He needs to get on the driving lesson waiting list, get the bus or buy a moped/bicycle. No lessons needed for the latter two. I hope he gives you a lie in on weekends.

StressedToTheMaxxx · 25/04/2023 09:39

He sounds like a real loser.