To be furious with DP

Don't just suggest it. That is too wet of you and he will argue.

Tell him bluntly that he absolutely IS getting the bus to work from now onwards and brook no dissent from him. He may still try to argue of course, but ignore him and hold very firm.

He sounds like a useless fecker who expects you to be his personal chauffeur. Fuck that!

How would he get to work if you weren't able to take him? Like if you were unwell or had an appointment or something? He shouldn't be relying on you. My DH got the bus to work, until he learned to drive. That's surely what most people do. Can't he get the bus or train? There's no way I'd be letting him take it out on me when he's an adult perfectly capable of getting himself to work.

And having a go at you for being tired when you've got a new baby to look after is horrible. Maybe you wouldn't be so fucking tired if you didn't have to take him to work and could actually get some sleep.

Needs to learn to drive
Gets a bus
Gets a bike
Goes to meeting point and get picked up by work mate

If he's a lanourer then he's probably working with a team? Tell him to cadge a lift with a workmate. Or get a bike. And stop being such a rude, ungrateful arsehole

No - it will not go down well if you tell him to take the bus/get a lift from a workmate/ hitch. But it does not go down well with you to be treated like a skivvy. Put your foot down or you will be walked all over for the rest of your life.

Is there not a lift share option at his work? All the labourers I know go to work together, a site manager or someone picks everyone up in a big van and takes them to site together.

Granted all the labourers I know seem to start much earlier than your husband so maybe they expect him to get public transport as its at a reasonable time to start work.

Your husband is clearly being a dick, it's completely unfair of him to expect you to Ferry him around after being up all night with a baby. Of course you're tired, only 8 weeks ago you had a baby! Your body went through so much with pregnancy and childbirth and now you're looking after a tiny human who only wants you, it's exhausting.

Your husband needs to sort out a different way of getting to work as expecting more from you is just not working.

Exactly what I was thinking

Do you wipe his arse for him as well as the baby's??!

I couldn't respect any man that can't drive, sorry. It's a basic lifeskill that most people learn at 17.

Tell him to buy an electric bike and get himself to work. What a tosser.

YANBU! He needs to get driving lessons and a grip.

Newborn tired is a whole new world of tired, I would say to him he needs to get up with you in the night every single time you do, to learn how bad it is. It might be hard for him to understand while he isn’t doing it.

My ex DP didn’t understand til I left him and then he had to look after 9mo DC on his own, and suddenly he had a lot more sympathy.

No wonder you are so tired. You have a NEWBORN and a manchild in the house. I would be telling him that he can make his own way to work from now on. No way would I ever drive him to work again. How he gets to work is not your problem. Also the way he spoke to you is awful.

Has he been expecting you to do this since birth? Im not sure when the "reccomendation" changes as i'm not a parent, but isn't it dangerous for babies who are only a few weeks old to be in a car seat any longer than 30 minutes? If he can be working up to half an hour away, then you've got journey back time too, is this not putting your baby at significant risk? Thats without the serious risk of you driving tired and being a danger to yourself and every other road user, especially when you say yourself you can be struggling to keep your eyes open! Your attention and reaction time will be greatly affected by tiredness and potential of falling asleep at the wheel is a terrifying situation that could be fatal. He'd be getting the bus, or bloody walking if i were you.

YANBU.

He needs to sort out his commute to work. How did he manage before?

He'd manage to get himself to work if you left him. I'd remind him that his free taxi will disappear if he doesn't start treating you with respect.

You need to tell him taking him to work isn’t working for you now that the baby is here. You do all the night feeds and have interrupted sleep and also have to get up at 7am to take him to work. No wonder you are tired!

he needs to learn to drive or get a bike or bus. Dh used to cycle to work when I needed the car that day.

I was in a similar position with a newborn and driving DH to work as we only had one car.

But here is the difference…

When it got too much for me, DH took the bus until he could take his (equivalent of) motorcycle CBT. He bought a cheap second hand motorbike, stuck his L plates on and left me and the baby happily in bed at home.

Grown up men, especially those who consider themselves mature enough to have a child, should be getting themselves to work - unless there is a disability, which doesn't appear to be the case here

Is that backlog of driving lessons an urban myth now or based on his own diligent research?

Personally if you are that tired, I wouldn't drive as it's a risk, and you don't need to take that one when he is perfectly capable of getting a bus. If he wants lifts, then he can start helping out at night.

So... you're up all night and then, when you and baby finally drop off to sleep, you have to wake up and take him to work?

Wow. I've heard some selfish men on here but this is unbelievable.

Is this a one off or a pattern?
If the former and you otherwise have a loving, caring relationship then you'll be able to talk about it and decide on a better plan.

If it's a pattern and he's unwilling or unable to see what an absolute arse he's being then you'll be better off alone.

I hope you are able to get some rest today. I was never one for 'sleep when the baby sleeps' but now and again everything else had to take a back seat so I could recharge a little bit.

Oh, and he was also helping with the night wakings at the time.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - you can raise the bar. You man child will either grow up or move out.Both are better for you than the current situation.

OP, my DH doesn't drive either but he does cycle a lot. I only give him the most occasional lift. You need to nip this in the bud now because in a few years you'll be driving kids all over the place and you definitely won't have time for driving DPs around as well.

Talk to him about feeling unsafe while driving when so tired (which is inevitable when you're the one up with the baby) and come up with an alternative plan. Does he get a bike, a moped (can drive on a provisional licence), a bus pass? Whatever works for him. But he can't rely on you for lifts everywhere.

he's relying on you for lifts to work? he should be a lot more grateful. And frankly? he should be getting up at 5 if he's not doing night feeds etc, and taking over and then you only need to get up just before you leave the house. Baby ready and changed etc, him ready to go.

That's how it worked with us when i was driving DH around for a while while we only had one car.

"I am going to suggest he gets the bus from now on but I imagine it won’t go down well."

Don't suggest, tell him" I'm not driving you to work anymore". He's a big boy, he should be able to get himself there somehow. I also have a baby and do all the night feeds (I'm breastfeeding so DH can't help) and there's no way my husband would make me get up with the baby to drive him somewhere, especially if I couldn't keep my eyes open!