OMGYES - anyone else signed up?

(72 Posts)

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Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 15:39:52

I realise this is a sexual thing, but it’s also a ridiculously amazing feminist thing. I have never seen anything like this, I have never had any discussions with women about what works for them sexually, it’s absolutely shocking how taboo this is still and it’s 2019.

I am absolutely gob smacked by what I’ve seen already and I only signed up ten minutes ago!

How is it that I’m 36 and know so much more about men’s pleasure than my own?!

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DpWm Fri 03-May-19 16:36:36

What now?

picklemepopcorn Fri 03-May-19 16:49:56

https://www.omgyes.com/

Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 16:50:21

Sorry, I didn’t link to it - it’s www.omgyes.com

They’ve essentially done a large scale study into female sexuality and pleasure and the results are absolutely fascinating. You have to pay a one off fee to access the content which put me off for ages but I’m so glad I bit the bullet.

It’s just so strange to see info and instruction on female pleasure that has no male gaze whatsoever. Some of the videos are explicit in terms of showing techniques etc and yet are like anti-porn IMO. It’s like those old instructional articles in Cosmo, if the focus wasn’t on making men happy (which they always were even if it was just “he will love it if you do this” 🙄)

Its just made me realise how little I have known about female sexual pleasure compared to Male, and it really shouldn’t be taboo in this day and age.

Seems like the second batch of content has only recently been released and they’re working on a third. Paying for the content funds the next batch of research.

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picklemepopcorn Fri 03-May-19 16:52:13

£40 a season for 50 4min videos.

Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 17:02:45

I bought both seasons - cost me £65. It’s taken me ages to do it, because I didn’t expect it to be as good as it is. The videos are honestly not that interesting to me, it’s the information that’s fascinating and eye opening - each season has a list of topics which are different aspects of creating pleasure. I was worried it would be all porny and like those instructional articles I mentioned earlier but it’s nothing like that.

Honestly I feel embarrassed even posting this but why should we be embrassed about it?! It’s no problem at all for men to be honest about being sexual, this is a feminist issue IMO.

It was reading this earlier that tipped me over into spending the money
www.bustle.com/articles/131716-12-techniques-women-use-to-have-an-orgasm-according-to-omgyes

The (very brave) women in the videos range from 20s up to about 60s (that I’ve seen so far), most of the women seem to be in their 30s and 40s. I’ve found their honesty and openness quite emotional to be honest - I could never do it!

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TemporaryPermanent Fri 03-May-19 17:19:07

Yes I did, last year. Only the first series so far.

If I tell you that I spent 32 years orgasming one way, that nobody else could get involved with, and was convinced nothing would ever change? And that after signing up to this (and getting a vibrator to be fair) I learned to come two new ways that give me hope I might actually come with someone else? That might tell you how important I think it is.

I agree totally with your views on the complete silence about the reality of female pleasure.

I have several lovers now and have told most of them about omgyes. Not one has expressed the slightest interest despite male posters on here constantly saying how much hard work men put into pleasing women. Despite then telling me how much more they care about my pleasure than their own. It is utter bullshit tbh. I don't care, because I'm not reliant on them and I can tell them what I want. But it explains why my sex life was soooo shit for so long.

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Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 17:24:50

Thank you! I was really worried other people would think I was a shill, a perv, a troll or all three (I promise I am none and have a long posting history under this username and others).

The thing that blows my mind is finding out that tiny little things I do are actually things that most women do - one of the sections says that 65% of women do this thing and I honestly thought I was just weird. Even better, it then tells me why women do it, how it works and how to do it better. Mind blown. I have also never seen close ups of so many vulvas and them being viewed with no shame or embarrassment. It’s quite liberating.

Definitely get the second one - from what I’ve seen so far it’s better than the first even. The only thing I dislike about the first season is the interactive animations - the second season has gone more for little animations but that’s because the first season is much more focussed on clitoral stimulation I guess.

I’m sad but not surprised that men have no interest. However, I know my DH is going to be as fascinated as I am by it, he likes the scientific approach 😀

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DpWm Fri 03-May-19 17:34:54

Lol sounds fascinating. Thankfully I'm alright with my orgasms for now and I don't have any spare cash atm, but I'll try to remember just for curiosity's sake in the future.

Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 21:33:08

Definitely bear it in mind for the future. Like I said I’ve been aware of it for ages but couldn’t justify the money. Really regretting it now (although regretting much more that it wasn’t available when I was in my late teens and was tolerating all manner of shit sex and worse because I knew no better).

I’ve had a good look through it all this evening - my first impressions were right, this is amazing stuff. I thought I was alright with my orgasms too - turns out there’s room for improvement!

I felt bad about spending the money on myself like that but honestly I think it will have a positive effect on my mental health, and it’s so empowering seeing women taking charge of their sexuality with no male involvement, no male gaze, no objectification... the fact that this even exists is making me feel much better about being a woman and the future of sexuality for women in a world so full of misogyny and porn. It’s like anti-porn. It’s awesome.

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hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 22:00:35

Just some data about OMGYES

twitter feed here
twitter.com/OMGYES

Founders are Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins

Just in case anyone wants to take a look at online material relating to the people who own the website.

In my opinion female pleasure is taboo and should be more openly thought about and talked about.

However I would caution women against signing up to any website that deals with any sexual subject or theme that potentially could harvest your details. Apologies for pointing out the obvious here.

I would be especially cautious about providing emails or other details to any website that claims to promote new ideas about women’s empowerment and / or female sexuality and sexual health before researching very thoroughly any links between the owner of the website and people involved in controversial / religious groups considered to be cults.

ErrmWTAF Fri 03-May-19 22:07:00

You know what needs to happen?

Off the back of PP saying she doesn't think the guys would ever see this, there should be a mandatory contribution to this research on every dating site. So, maybe not the full £65, but even £10 could fund more research and every guy (and gal) would get access to the research thus far.

Or, make it quasi-optional, but put a tick next to the guys who have done this, like POF upgraded users. Then let the market decide.

Then they can't say they care about the female orgasm if they don't dig in.

hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 23:15:26

Lydia Daniller, co-owner of the MOGYES website, was the photographer for this Vice article on Barbara Carrellas, described in the piece as a ""sexpert" and former sacred prostitute"

www.vice.com/en_us/article/jmvjq4/thinking-off

according to this piece in Mashable

"The site [OMGYES] boasts an impressive team of designers, creators and sexual advisors such as Annie Sprinkle and Carol Queen"

mashable.com/2016/05/01/omgyes-review/?europe=true

Annie Sprinkle interests me for her “sex positive” activism with a nasty, racist cult called the Deer Tribe, a cult notable for its appropriation and perversion of sexual medicine, it’s racist perversion and misrepresentation of native American tribal ceremonies, for the multiple allegations of the sexual abuse of followers and the promotion of a spiritual doctrine positing that children should be sexually “initiated” by adults at puberty.

In fact Annie Sprinkle is a friend and associate of "sexpert and former sacred prostitute"Barbara Carrellas and also of the OMGYES website co-owner Lydia Daniller who was the official photographer at Annie Sprinkle’s wedding (where she got married to the earth or something).

I do not know Lydia Daniller personally. I cannot comment on her character, she may well be naive and well-meaning, however I would not register with a website owned by someone with a demonstrable association to someone like Annie Sprinkle.

Daniller’s Instagram account is here

www.instagram.com/lydiadaniller/?hl=en

Sprinkle sends her kisses in this link
www.instagram.com/p/BwAXELDhy9l/

Further links of relevance and interest re the Deer Tribe and Annie Sprinkle
www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/sacred-orgasm-6411234

www.vice.com/en_uk/article/zn5kny/a-to-z-of-sexual-history-quodoushka-another-bullshit-sex-cult

I also possess (for research purposes) a copy of this book
www.amazon.co.uk/Star-Warrior-Swiftdeer-Bill-Wahlberg/dp/187918107X?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It is written by the late founder of the Deer Tribe, a sexual predator named Harley Reagan aka Swiftdeer aka Gunnie aka Thunder Strikes, a far-right gun nut who uses the book to describe his racist sexual fantasises about sex between adults and children as if they were authentic Cherokee rituals - they are not.

Also see first hand accounts of concerns and abuses here
www.newagefraud.org/smf/index.php?PHPSESSID=tfn03t7sn3iu24kcftcutdafb5&topic=528.0

So, to conclude, I would not go near the OMGYES website with a ten foot long shitty stick.

Others will have to make up with own minds but I strongly suggest that readers do a bit of research before making a decision about whether or not to sign up.

Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 23:16:44

hood I feel like I’ve really missed something here! I just googled and can’t find anything, could you let me know? Obviously if there’s some reason I shouldn’t be recommending this then I fully apologise.

To be honest, at this stage the worst that could happen to me is that my generic email address could turn up in a list of women who’ve paid to learn more about female pleasure / orgasm. The fact that this is frightening in any way is fucked up, isn’t it? I am so impressed with the women who’ve appeared in these videos, I don’t know how they’ve found the courage!

ErrrmWTAF YES! Totally agree. What I’ve found really striking so far are the amount of women saying that they love a particular sexual technique that a male partner has taught them - it’s like there are these few guys picking up tips along the way and passing them along, and that’s how a lot of women are discovering what works for them. Or that they liked a particular thing and they thought they were weird and it was shameful, except as it turns out more women do that than don’t. It’s accepted that males start masturbating in their early teens - I only bothered a handful of times because I didn’t get much out of it because I had no idea what I was doing! I read a lot of women’s mags in those days and I don’t ever remember any instruction on this but there was plenty on the perfect blow job or how to make the right noises in bed 🙄

The things that I’ve learned work for me have mostly come from men I’ve been with, not exploration on my own. That is definitely going to change now! Just sad that I’m now 36 and only just figuring this out. And I’m someone who’s had a lot of sex, am not repressed, I just didn’t understand my body or how to get a good response from it. Like I just learned today that the most sensitive part of my vagina is actually part of my G area (not spot, area!) - since it’s in a completely different location than you’d expect I didn’t think it was related! That’s crazy. I’ve always wondered what it is. How did i not know this?

Seriously, if I’d been with a guy at 20 (or 30 or any time!) who’d studied this info and knew how to do these things (and just generally knew how to handle a woman’s body and respond to their cues, most importantly) I’d have thought they were a god. It’s even worse now with the amount of porn young men are consuming - a young man with this knowledge would be a king amongst men. It’s sad they’re not all over it but I’m not at all surprised. All this “well I definitely want to give women amazing orgasms but I don’t know how” 🙄 and they forget to add that this is only the case if the woman’s needs are entirely compatible with what they want and requires very little real effort.

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Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 23:17:51

Sorry hood, x posted. I will have a look at all that. Everyone else, I apologise if I’ve recommended something problematic.

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Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 23:24:02

Oh FFS. Why?!

Two things annoy me here:

1) I did do research before I purchased, I’ve known of it for a few years, even when you posted there was an issue and googled it generally I couldn’t find anything. There’s so much positivity around it and I saw nothing negative.

2) the material in the study / the site is so bloody good and so valuable

Bloody typical. I think I’ve actually found something legitimately “sex positive” (and not in the twisted way that phrase is usually used against women) for women, but no - there’s always some sick fuckers involved somewhere. It can’t just be a positive thing for women’s sexuality. FFS.

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LassOfFyvie Fri 03-May-19 23:26:28

I would not register with a website owned by someone with a demonstrable association to someone like Annie Sprinkle

Me neither. I've seen that name popping up a few times over the years - usually in articles about how wonderful porn is.

Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 23:26:49

(I should add, none of the content I’ve seen so far is anything like any of the batshit awful stuff I’ve seen mentioned in those links - not in the slightest - but I do agree that any association with people who were involved in things like that is a big concern)

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Deathgrip Fri 03-May-19 23:30:00

It’s surprising to me because my first thought on watching the videos contained within the site is that it’s like anti-porn - real women, only naked from the waist down, filmed objectively and without titliation / male gaze, there’s no fake moaning nonsense, etc. I’m surprised that anyone who thinks porn is a good thing has any involvement in this!

Anyway, apologies again - what a fucking shame.

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hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 23:33:40

Deathgrip

Unfortunately lots of people get suckered into signing up for all kinds of websites, apps and services that are used to harvest data.

Unfortunately the fields of sexual medicine and sexual health have for some time (since forever probably - but more so since the Internet) been appropriated and distorted by cults.

I am uncertain about what is going on with OMGYES and you do to need to apologise for recommending something you found helpful.

It is true that we live in a sexually repressed society and that women's pleasure and needs are often overlooked.

It is also true that society and humans have a lot to learn about sexual pleasure, especially for women.

It may also be true that the OMGYES website has some amazing videos and content and that the women in the videos are brave and to be commended.

I am just extremely concerned about the association of the co-owner of the website with people in sex cults.

Women should do their own research and make their own decisions, I just want potential users of the site to make their decision from a position of being informed.

I should also say that my concerns are the result of a very short time on google as I had seen OMGYES promoted on various "tantric" cult related websites (does not mean it is a bad thing).

There may be much more to this than meets the eye and I do not have the many hours necessary to research it thoroughly.

hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 23:37:24

It’s surprising to me because my first thought on watching the videos contained within the site is that it’s like anti-porn - real women, only naked from the waist down, filmed objectively and without titliation / male gaze, there’s no fake moaning nonsense, etc. I’m surprised that anyone who thinks porn is a good thing has any involvement in this!

Anyway, apologies again - what a fucking shame.

Please don't feel too bad about it Deathgrip flowers

This is a learning experience and unfortunately there are countless websites that claim to empower women sexually and in other ways that have extremely sinister connections and serve primarily to harvest data.

Hopefully this will empower women to research these kinds of sites carefully before signing up.

hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 23:40:18

oops typo above

you do not need to apologise is what I mean to say

hoodathunkit Fri 03-May-19 23:46:21

1) I did do research before I purchased, I’ve known of it for a few years, even when you posted there was an issue and googled it generally I couldn’t find anything. There’s so much positivity around it and I saw nothing negative.

don't be hard on yourself

I have studied abusive cults, especially sex cults, fairly obsessively for many years. I know exactly what to look for. I miss things often also.

2) the material in the study / the site is so bloody good and so valuable

well, that really is a shame but it is often the way. Cults lure you in with a carrot before the stick even makes an appearance . Some of them have delicious carrots. Seriously they get to be powerful by knowing how to make people feel good.

Bloody typical. I think I’ve actually found something legitimately “sex positive” (and not in the twisted way that phrase is usually used against women) for women, but no - there’s always some sick fuckers involved somewhere. It can’t just be a positive thing for women’s sexuality. FFS.

I feel your pain. I feel like this a lot.

Well maybe you can keep hold of the good stuff you have learned and share it with your friends and lover/s? They cannot take it away from you now you know it can they?

Also it may be worth thinking about what is good about OMGYES and doing something yourself or with friends who do not have associations with sex cults?

LassOfFyvie Fri 03-May-19 23:51:24

think I’ve actually found something legitimately “sex positive”

Annie Sprinkle's schtick is "sex positivity". She is/was apparently a prostitute and a porn star which, of course, was empowering and liberating.

hoodathunkit Sat 04-May-19 00:06:05

This video is of interest to readers who are interested in how predators, perverts and cults have appropriated sexual medicine and sexual health

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvQltul8K4E

The video features Ina Laughing Winds, a properly trained and accredited sexual health advisor who is also a member of the Deer Tribe sex cult.

In the video she delivers what, to naive persons, appears to be a credible account of the different types of women's external genitalia and advises on how best to pleasure each type of woman.

The problem is that these different types of vulvas are not, as claimed, ancient Cherokee / Mayan wisdom on sexual teachings, they are the invented musings of the sexual predator and cult leader Harley Reagan.

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