(Sorry if I’m in the wrong topic.)

I sold an item on Vinted, posted it the same day but I just received a cross message from buyer to say it is marked as delivered but they haven’t received it. I confirmed that I had sent it via official channels and tracking etc.

They have opened a case against me!! Do I do anything further?

Was Paul Newman, discuss

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Just looking for some opinions as I don't know if I'm being weird about this!

On a big extended family holiday, all staying in the same house with aunts/ uncles/ cousins/ kids etc that we don't see that often.

DH (late 40's if relevant) is walking around in just the shorts he slept in in the morning whilst he is sorting out our toddler's breakfast etc. No one else seems to be doing this, everyone else is wearing t-shirts.

Is this OK/ normal?

It is warm, and I don't want to tell him to cover up if I'm just being a bit weird and prudish about it.

At the same time, I'm hoping people aren't looking at him and wondering why he's wearing only his sleep shorts from like 6.30-9am, socialising, playing with the kids etc, so it's not just popping down for a coffee. He's unshowered, messy hair etc.

YABU - It's fine, chill out, it's family (even though extended family we don't see)
YANBU - he should cover up like everyone else

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I’m can’t believe I’m writing this, but here goes. I’m male 54 divorced 3 years ago , I’m seeing a woman 55, separated for 3 years after a 20+ year marriage, we have been seeing each other for almost 9 months now and everything is going fine, we date, stay over, I’ve met her kids etc all good, the only thing am I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not is the amount of sex we have, we don’t live together and don’t plan to right now
we probably stay over twice a week ( hers and mine), her expectations seem to be that we have as much sex as possible; when we go to bed and then during the night and again in the morning if possible - this is too much for me, I simply can’t “perform” and I feel like I’m being pressured ( and punished) if I can’t do it

the last few years of her marriage were sexless and I know she is hyper aware of that and somehow equates a good relationship with having almost constant sexual activity ( I don’t) -
I’m don’t really know what I’m asking here, but I feel her expectations around sex are somehow linked to her feelings of self worth, I know this sounds weird ( or not ) , but I’d like a bit less sex - to the point now where I’ve completed stopped initiation as I know I don’t need to!
so I suppose my question is around how do I explain this with out coming across as rejecting her

all advice welcome 🙏

Can anyone who lives in a cold, COLD climate recommend a brand of winter jacket/coat please? We have booked a winter holiday to somewhere much colder than we have suitable clothing for, temps apparently hover around -3C - 0C during the day, colder at night (and I think the sun sets around 5pm so we can expect to be out during nighttime temps).

We will be sightseeing indoors and outdoors, and don't really want to be peeling off layers and getting dressed repeatedly. So, we'd be looking for a single, really warm coat or jacket we can wear over (say) jeans and a sweatshirt/wooly jumper + t-shirt.

This is for man/woman/teens/pre-teen.

Grateful for any tips!

As there is already a thread on chat I thought I would link it here as it will drop off the other board.

Original thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5570978-hm-gov-telling-us-to-get-tinned-food-and-bottled-water

Link: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

Time to get in the winter supplies now before the candles and lanterns sell out. Very impressed with the new USBC Blukar battery lanterns after testing them this summer: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blukar-Camping-Rechargeable-Lantern-Essentials/dp/B0GVNKNM6C

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

I appreciate it’s going to be different for everyone, but I have no idea of the approx cost of the treatment, and how long it might take.

I’m thinking of sorting out my teeth, but have no idea if it is achievable financially for me.

would anyone care to share how much your treatment cost and how long it took?

thanks very much

Silly post and the situation is we wont have another child

Im 28 have a 4yo and 2yo. Struggled massively since 2nd child and so did mine and DH relationship which is just mending now really (starting to)

Dh works away so is gone Monday then back Friday evening. So im alone a bit then on weekends he is just so used to me doing everything I have to remind him he can help

He doesnt want a 3rd so thats the conversation closed in my eyes unless he changed his mind alone but it'd never work well me pushing for a 3rd when he doesnt want one

But I have this weird ache. I have always wanted 3 kids even growing up I always thought I wanted 3 or 4 I wanted a bigger family. I feel sad never getting to experience pregnancy again or another baby. Never getting to the early stages again despite it being tough! Unsure if this has come around as DS2 is getting more independent he is so advanced for his age so it feels. Abit like hes a little kid now haha!

I know im only young before anyone comments but DH is 36 so has highlighted he is older and if we wait and try (which could take time) he'd be getting older, so less energy etc (one of the reasons)

How do I shift the slight ache im getting of accepting I probably wont have another child? It sounds so odd I dont know why I keep thinking it and feeling sad

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Not sure what I am asking, perhaps some perspective…

I have always been a conservative dresser with my own style, I like Reiss / VB / Mango sleek minimalism with occasional dab into 70s vibe for smart wear. Still wearing heels for work, especially on the flares day 🙈

I went from one or two days in the office to full week in July, so bought a few more items. It’s very cold in the office (long story) and it’s modest dressing dress code. Everyone looks smart but not fashion forward. I have neutral 3 blazers and 4 trousers that I mix and match, jeans sometimes. I prefer short sleeve shell tops / whitest shirts under blazers to push the sleeves up, so my sassy silk blouses are now for weekend, it’s too cold for blouses only.

I came to feel bored of what feels like wearing the same thing, those 3 damn blazers. I don’t feel smart in knitwear, so don’t wear cardigans or jumpers at work.

What should I do, buy more blazers, perhaps experiment with colours, textures, shapes? Will they still feel like wearing the same thing? I like the concept of uniform, less decision making on what to wear but also feel like I am a bit resentful of repetitive dressing.

Just wondering how much variety others have in work dressing and if you try to buy the best you can afford, how much workwear do you have? Do you accessorise more for variety? It should not matter, work is just work, but it’s long hours and makes you feel good to enjoy what you are wearing…

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

As above really, myself, DH and 3 DC went to our friends’ house yesterday on the promise of some drinks in the garden and a BBQ.

They said they were having issues with their BBQ so would do an ‘indoor BBQ’. This consisted of beige food from Iceland!!

AIBU to find this a woeful alternative?

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

I was due on a flight that was cancelled tonight and the communication from the airline has been woeful.

Everyone at the airport just shrugged and said it wasn’t their problem, to go through the app and sort it out there.

I did that and I have a new flight tomorrow, and I’m in a hotel. I know things like dinner tonight and food tomorrow can be claimed back, but what about things like the Airbnb I’ve paid for for tonight in my original destination? I’ve messaged the hosts and explained that I won’t be there tonight, so I’m hopeful they’re going to keep the reservation for me, but if they don’t, then what?

How do I claim the compensation due under UK 261? What do I do now?

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

Welcome to Thread 5! 🥳

A huge thank you to @OvaHere and @JoRaRaRa for the previous threads, and to everyone who's been sharing spoilers, links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 4 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.

🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes;

🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.

🎁 Available Now

Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Full contents revealed. Beauty Drop member pre order has closed and those advents are being dispatched. The advent will go on general sale soon (BD members still qualify for the discount during the general sale)
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing

P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available.
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar

John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members.
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475

Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on pre-sale.
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465

Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale currently sold out. Expected back in-store during September (date TBC).
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026

Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026

Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Available now
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026

Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5

The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members
Women's Advent Calendar
https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307

⏳ Coming Soon / Waitlists
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/

Harvey Nichols
(website is down currently due to to the company buyout but will return soon) Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/

John Lewis Fragrance £99
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Space NK £275
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Unboxing video

Elle £197 or £187 if you join waitlist
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/

Boots launch 01/09 for waitlist then 2/09 for general sale
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Scent £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/

Sephora UK
Spoilers:
https://beauty-detective.com/sephora-uk-advent-calendar-2026/
Waitlist: https://www.sephora.co.uk/c/beauty-advent-calendar-waitlist

Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance (lots of price rumours about this one - could be similar to Harrods fragrance or could twice as much)
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

LookFantastic Beauty
https://www.lookfantastic.com/c/waitlist/advent/?srsltid=AfmBOoovzs9M5Kt8-RM_31Q3-JOa6N51uGggpe0hglvZbxC5Of7AFTH_
LookFantastic Fragrance
https://beauty-detective.com/lookfantastic-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/

Glossybox
https://beauty-detective.com/glossybox-advent-calendar-2026/

OK! Beauty Box £109
https://beauty-detective.com/ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar-2026/

Next £150
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/

Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar

PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/

💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Jo Malone, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, Holland & Barrett, YesStyle and many more as they're announced.

👉 https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars/ 👈

🎅 Happy advent season everyone! 🎁
Here's hoping for lots more spoilers, bargains, discount codes, and maybe a little self-control (although that's already gone for some 😄)

I hope I’ve captured everything 🩷

I’m booked into my hairdressers first appointment of the day. I arrived ten minutes early and they’ve told me she’s running late as she got out of bed late!

She is very much aware of the fact I have a flight to catch. I booked this a lot with the explicit reason of it being because I have a flight this afternoon. She put a note on my record to say I was getting a flight.

What do I do?! AIBU to walk out if it gets to nine and she’s not ready?

H and I separated earlier this year. His decision, if that's relevant.

We are just talking about the legal formalities ie split of marital assets. My understanding is that there's a broad 50/50 principle for fairness, then a consideration as to whether that meets both parties needs.

Obvs housing is the key one. I am currently living in our home with dd19 and ds17. Dh is lodging locally. If we split the housing equity in half, that will give DH enough money to buy outright or very nearly a very nice flat in our area (London) and me not enough to be able to house 3 of us anywhere in London. Even taking on as big a mortgage as I can get, buying a 3 bedroom would involve us moving away from where we are now. Ds is at school in London for another year, DD is going to university and will be back for holidays etc and probably when she graduates.

Dh decided to take his pension when he turned 60 earlier this year. I am working full time and intend to go so for as long as I can and still have a job. My job is in London and I don't fancy my chances trying to get another at my age.

Both offspring want to live with me at the moment. Ds may change his mind as he gets older, but who knows?

I am struggling to see how this is fair. Dh improves his already very chilled lifestyle, while I have to uproot the children and myself and possibly not keep my job.

I don't have any family. I am on my own and would really appreciate not losing everything I have built up here.

Can anyone explain how 50/50 works when there are adult/nearly adult children to be housed?

TIA

Looking for advice, aware there was a post made for April Fools 2 years ago! However this one is genuine.
I have lived in a ground floor flat for 5 years, which has an enclosed walled patio garden. I love the garden and it’s a little haven in the middle of the city. I have enjoyed planting and growing varieties of cut flowers.
I have neighbour next door who has a very similar set up to me, enclosed walled garden and she too enjoys her garden in the same way I do.
Neighbour took on a stray cat approximately a year ago, the cat roams locally to where we live (particularly the abandoned building next door). I too have a cat, he was also a stray, he does not roam and is very much a homebody. He is territorial over the garden and will chase away any other cats who may consider coming in.
My neighbour has become slightly overbearing, in what I should and shouldn’t be putting in my garden. This includes slug killer (pet safe version), coffee grounds, and weed killer. I have always kept her informed when I have used it which gives her the choice of keeping her cat inside if she wishes. Previously she has stopped maintenance workers from weeding areas in the car park as they were using weed killer, went as far as to write a note on the weed killer solution when they went on break naming it ‘cat killer’.
My issue now, I mentioned I went looking for tulip bulbs over text, and she replied with a screenshot of information of tulip toxicity and the complications they can cause to cats if ingested, particularly the bulbs.
My cat has zero interest in my plants (he much prefers sunbathing). I have grown daffodils and tulips for years with cats and had zero issues. I know that this is simply to safeguard her cat however I’m feeling that this is beyond controlling and passive aggressive and her cat is not my responsibility. Her cat also free roams around the area so it doesn’t make any sense for her to be overly concerned about what’s in my garden.
Any advice on how to deal with this?

Can I pull this dress off in my 40s? Am very tempted to get it (for Christmas parties / nights out)