Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

I don’t want to believe it as I’ve made a few good friends through work and I hate

and I find it hard to be all mysterious
i prefer being an open book
but I keep seeing things that say this not wise
and that people are studying you etc

My mum has dementia. She doesn’t have physical disabilities and can walk about independently, but she gets very confused in unfamiliar places and would not reliably ask for food, drinks, help with toileting etc. She will often say she’s “fine” even when she clearly isn’t.

If she ever ended up in A&E or admitted to hospital, what actually happens if family members cannot sit with her 24 hours a day?

I’m asking because we previously had another family member in hospital who needed prompting and help with eating, and they were apparently not even fed properly because nobody realised they needed assistance. It’s made us very anxious about future admissions.

We would obviously visit and help as much as possible, but realistically we could not provide round-the-clock supervision due to work, children and other responsibilities.

Do hospitals provide extra supervision or dementia support in situations like this? How do they make sure vulnerable patients who are confused but physically mobile are eating, drinking and safe if relatives are not there constantly?

Just trying to understand what support should normally be in place and what families can reasonably expect for a person with Dementia who "hides" it well and could also wander?

I took redundancy from a very corporate job a few years ago. Very respectable job title with a big company.

I decided to have a go at home dog boarding. So I look after dogs in my home for people who don’t like kennels. I also do a bit of doggie day care. It’s all just in my house.

It obviously doesn’t carry the same respect that my corporate job did! You don’t need any qualifications.

If you had to guess, what would you think I earn a month?

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

DS passport expires 4/3/2027, and we arrive home from our hol on 4/9/2026. It will be exactly 6 months left to expiry on our departure from EU.
Would you get a new passport or risk it?

I’m due in July but think she will defo be here in June and and my partners parents who I get on with well seem to be so over the top (understandably excited) but they keep saying ‘how’s my baby growing’ etc and I laugh and say my baby is fine but now it’s getting a lot, especially when we mention names his mum will say oh no not that one and I respond jokingly but it’s really getting me down. When I bring this up with my partner who has been so supportive he thinks I’m being dramatic and I keep saying I’d like to have at least 1 day of no visitors if we are able to come home same day etc but he doesn’t understand and wants to have people over and now I feel super overwhelmed with the birth nearing, I’m worried to bring this up to them myself as they are a different culture (but not religious) and I don’t want to upset anyone.

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

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Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

My MIL very much wants to be the involved grandma who is asked to babysit our children (6 and 2) and DH is very keen for his mum to feel included and important as a grandmother, so we ask her to babysit. The problem is that whenever we actually do ask her, she doesn’t really do what we ask. It’s never anything catastrophic, but it’s consistently frustrating. She’ll keep our eldest up far too late because she doesn’t want to properly enforce bedtime, so we then get back an overtired, emotional child. She’ll let our toddler skip naps or completely ignore routines because she thinks “one day won’t hurt,” when of course it absolutely does when we’re then left dealing with the fallout. She also has a habit of giving treats, screen time, or freedoms we’ve specifically said no to, and generally treats our parenting preferences more like optional suggestions than actual instructions.

So instead of childcare genuinely helping us, it often creates more stress afterwards. Before anyone says “well, let DH deal with the aftermath then,” yes, he often does. But that doesn’t magically solve the issue. I’m still in the same house listening to overtired children screaming, struggling, and melting down, and I’m hardly going to sit there with my feet up while my kids are miserable just to prove a point. Their difficult evening still affects the whole household, regardless of whose “turn” it is to manage it.

The key point is that we are not remotely short on childcare. My side of the family help and actually respect our routines and boundaries (DH agrees that this is the case), and if needed we also have paid childcare options who, unsurprisingly, do exactly what we ask. So this isn’t about necessity at all. It’s much more that DH feels guilty because his mum clearly wants to feel needed, involved, and chosen, and he worries that not asking her more often will hurt her feelings. On Sunday we went out because apparently MIL was sad that she hadn’t been asked to babysit in a while, whereas my mum had been a lot recently. To me it felt almost like she hadn’t had her turn to play with the toys and is in a mood about it - they’re actual living humans!

Childcare isn’t a charitable role you hand out to preserve a grown adult’s sense of importance. She absolutely loves the children, and I’m not trying to cut her out or stop her seeing them, but I am increasingly struggling with the idea that we should knowingly make our own lives harder, and our children’s evenings harder, just to protect her feelings. Seeing them with us present apparently isn’t the same thing to her. AIBU to think that “wanting to feel included” isn’t enough reason to keep using someone for babysitting when they repeatedly ignore how you want your children cared for? And how do others navigate this without it becoming huge family drama, especially when your husband seems more focused on not upsetting his mother than on whether the childcare is actually helpful?

Time for another thread. Spring and Summer releases are trickling out to tempt us AND the advent calendar waitlists are appearing...hope you are all feeling suitably Christmassy. 😂

Thanks everyone who continues to contribute to the chatter and welcome to any newbies who want to join in.

I didn’t know which category to put this in! Would especially love to hear opinions from seasoned campers and vanners.
we need to release money for our sons house deposit. We don’t have it all so would remortgage for some of it.
we have a VW campervan which we could sell
basically the financial difference between keeping or selling the van would be around £400 over 4 and a half years.
just writing it out here it seems like a no brainer!
but we do love our weekends in the van. Anyone switched to a tent from a van and kept their relationship intact? We tend to just do weekends.

So obviously they are all over social media at the moment but they do seem like a gentle relaxing habit I could get behind. Do they actually make any difference to your face though?

I mean the stuff you mix with water; not the stuff in cartons!

I'm aware you can get it with orange but does it exist by itself as squash, does anyone know?

My best friend (54M) is getting married next year. to his fiancée (35F) been together years and have a young child together.
She is moving into his home permanently and giving up her own place in the process. He has more savings and assets than she does, & she has zero. which is why he originally wanted a prenup as he had been stung in the past in relationships.
From what I understand, she was very hurt by the idea and basically said she wouldn’t feel able to go through with the marriage if there was a prenup involved. she has said that marriage should mean full commitment and security, especially when she’s giving up independence and financial stability to build a life together.

He ended up deciding he would rather marry her without a prenup than lose the relationship.
i personally think he’s being naive and worry that refusing any prenup is a red flag.

I am 36. For the past 4 years or so I have suffered debilitating migraines. From a couple a month to multiple days a week. I am a carer for my disabled child and have a lot of responsibility I can’t change.

i have tried propranolol, botox, piercings, acupuncture.
I dont drink alcohol, drink decaf coffee, loads of water, healthy diet.
have been on pill / not on pill.
practice yoga & mindfulness

i rely on sumitriptan but even that doesn’t always stop them.

I feel utterly desperate. Like I am losing all my positivity.

what else can I do?

I went part-time when I had my first child, and my second is starting school in Sept.

DP and I pay 50% of the mortgage and household bills each (before I went part time, and throughout maternity leave, I paid more). I said I would go back to full-time work when DC were at school but now… I don’t want to? AIBU?

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it!

Things that are relevant:

• It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school.
• Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave.
• Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday.
• If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea.

Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

We've had a new mattress, so decided to clear everything off our ottoman. Our bed & Ottoman very rarely looks this tidy. Does this look dated?

It can be anything!!

I will start..

I am a food safety inspector (local authority) and have been for over 15 years, working in two large cities, and my current job in a smaller local authority. The same theme...

Food handlers do NOT wash their hands properly after using the toilet / before preparing your food.. lack of antibacterial soap in a toilet cubicle or in a kitchen is common place.... even when I am there, hands are not washed, it is an absolute bug bear of mine.

Preparing with raw meat then handling food ready to eat.. not uncommon

Handling cash / touching screens then handling food.. not uncommon.

Yes it does put me off eating outside of my house unfortunately 🙃

I have come across a LOT worse but this example irritates me.

Your turn!!!!!

Help! 37 year old mum of 3 looking for cruise fashion advice.Does anyone want to take on a fashion case??
We have a cruise coming up and I have realised that most of my wardrobe is leggings, jeans and clothes that are more practical than stylish.

I am a size 12 to 14 with a bit of a mum tum and a medium bust that is not quite where it used to be! I want to buy just a few nice pieces rather than lots of cheap items. I am looking for clothes that are comfortable but still smart, flattering, and suitable for spring and summer. Nothing too revealing, but I do not want to look frumpy either.

I absolutely hate shopping in stores and find online shopping overwhelming. I have been looking on Facebook and Instagram for outfit inspiration, but I cannot seem to find anything that feels realistic for a normal 37 year old mum.
Can anyone recommend good quality high street shops that offer stylish clothes that last? I would love suggestions for cruise outfits, flattering styles for a tummy area, and comfortable but stylish shoes.

I am also looking at the UGG GoldenGlow Sandals as they look lightweight, supportive and practical while still being stylish.

Any recommendations, favourite shops, or holiday staples you swear by would be hugely appreciated.

I've been at my job for 3 years and recently raised to my manager that I do more than is in my JD and would like my salary to be reviewed. They agreed and also said they would like to change some aspects of my JD. I was then informed that because my JD and salary are changing I will need to re-interview for my job and it will be externally advertised too.

I have a job interview for another job of much higher pay for similar work, I'm in the mindset now of fuck my current job and put all my time outside of work towards preparing for this other interview.

Any advice or thoughts on this??

I'm so annoyed and humiliated that I'll possibly lose my current job to a better candidate

Morning all. I sold an item yesterday (leggings), which came through with a message saying they had let someone buy using a disabled postage method but I could cancel if I wanted. I decided to proceed even though I'd have to go to the Post Office which is why I disabled Royal Mail in the first place.

Anyway, label comes through for a small parcel and it's Large Letter which has just been added to Vinted as an option. The Vinted guidelines for a small parcel I'm sure are for a padded envelope as medium is for items that would go in a shoebox.

I did manage to squeeze them into an A4 envelope and hope for the best but I would advise you to select medium if it's not going to go through a 2.5cm slot!

So I walk in the post office and there’s a big queue,I would say around 10 people in front.
A lady was in front of me…so I walked to the back of the shop and sat down on a chair.
When the lady was next to be served I walked into the queue and told the woman behind her that I was behind this lady and that I had just been sitting down as I didn’t want to stand …am I jumping a queue here ?
Is this acceptable ?
Obviously I wasn’t this person..I was the woman in the queue being told that I needed to let her in front of me…I wasn’t happy at all.
The man behind me said “well I can’t be bothered to queue either,shall I go for a coffee and come back in a hour and walk to the front”
It made me laugh ….