To have a weekday wedding?

[TheLadyOfWinterfell]

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it!

Things that are relevant:

• It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school.
• Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave.
• Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday.
• If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea.

Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

How far would people need to travel? How much is the expected spend per person on outfit, gifts etc? It all factors in. If I'm already out by hundreds, I would not take an extra day off work. Sorry.

Mid week weddings are fine
Thursday being the optimal "mid week" day
Friday obv better but probably classed as weekend prices by venues
Just expect people saying no due yo annual leave if not a teacher
And if you are inviting kids it makes it alot easier for parents!

Perfectly fine but be gracious and understanding if people decline to come. Unless it’s local I think people will only come on a Friday otherwise it’s 2 days off work

Not unreasonable at all.

But expect some people not to be able to attend.

Don't overthink it. Book what works for you, invite who you want to invite and accept some people might not make it. Same as any wedding.

I've had two weekday weddings and honestly never factored in anyone else's situation re annual leave. My one day off a week was a tuesday, so thats when I got married, afternoon ceremony, booked a hotel and had a meal and drinks then home as back to work the next day. 2nd time only us and our witness's.

If you invite them and they want to attend they will book the time off. It's your day decide how you want it and book it, once you start taking other peoples situations into your decisions it quickly escalates to everyone else's day and not yours.

Have a great day and congratulations

Sounds perfect to me

Well it would be localish to us, so nearby friends wouldn’t have to travel far and those who live further away would. Some of the people who work weekends live several hours away though, so would potentially need two days of AL if we had a Saturday wedding. Fortunately the guests on my side who have to travel furthest are retired, so hopefully it won’t matter to them too much.

There’s no expected spend on outfits! There won’t be any sort of dress code, so it’s entirely up to people whether they wear something they already own, spend hundreds or choose an option in the middle. I’m not sure what we’ll do about gifts, but I won’t be expecting people to spend much or anything if they don’t want to.

Go for it! Sounds like it will work fine for the majority of your circle of friends/family. Only think I can think of is that if people need hotels etc to stay overnight, will that work out much more expensive because it's school holidays?

There's nothing intrinsically wrong with it - do what you want and you'll be happy.

I'm a photographer and there's definitely a different vibe at weekday weddings. People will generally have to be somewhere before / after or working the next day so it feels like folks' guard is up a bit more or they don't feel so free to just relax and enjoy it, etc.

It especially shows when there's an evening dance where people don't let their hair down so much and you end up with an empty dance floor in front of the expensive band you've paid for. But if you're not having that then there's less to worry about in that regard.

Not unreasonable at all, but honestly do people want a ‘champagne afternoon tea’? I’d rather have basic wine but not be hungry personally, I may well be totally wrong but champagne afternoon tea sounds like you are barely going to feed people. Posh afternoon snacks. Lack of food at weddings is a common mistake people make

if you give people plenty of notice then it should be fine.

Those you are closest to will prioritise attending, you will get some declines but thst is the case with a weekend wedding too.

This, people will either come to a wedding or not. I had a Friday wedding guests came.

YANBU to have any kind of wedding you want. As long as you won't get the hump with people who can't attend due to work commitments, or feel disappointed that there isn't a 'party atmosphere' as people are sticking to soft drinks and wanting to get away early due to work the next day.

I agree with a pp. dont do an "afternoon tea a hot /cold buffet is better people will be hungry.

I agree with this

Ah, sorry, should have been more specific. If we did this then we’d probably only expect people to be with us for 4-5 hours, so a ceremony around midday and then everything finishing around 5pm. The venue (we have one in mind) would do canapés after the ceremony, then another form of light meal like afternoon tea. I don’t actually really want afternoon tea as I don’t have an overly sweet tooth, but it seems a bit more celebratory than a finger food buffet or something similar. If people would generally prefer a buffet then I’d be delighted!

So we’d really only be covering one meal. If we did decide on a full day thing then obviously there would be a meal and then evening food 🙂

I think it sounds fine. Plenty of notice and clear what it is eg 12 noon ceremony followed by afternoon tea 2-4 or whatever. If they like you enough to come to wedding it’s worth a day off work. Like you say not everyone works 9-5 mon to Fri.
My grandparents married on a Tues as it was half day closing and they and family and friends were shop workers. A Saturday was out of question.

Totally fine, as long as people are genuinely free to decline without you taking it personally. Even teachers sometimes marry non-teachers. If you are "expecting" people to find a way to attend then I think a weekend would be more polite, notwithstanding that some people work weekends.

Champagne reception and no evening do sounds perfect to me. A bit old-fashioned almost but I like it. Just be clear on invitations.

Book what works for you. If people really want to be there, they will.

I know if someone close to me invited me to a weekday wedding I would just book the day off because it would be important to me to be there and I wouldn’t think twice about it.

I had a Friday and everyone came. Most who needed to travel did it Thursday evening and went Saturday. I was surprised but everyone who stayed had a room at the venue (thought a few would prefer a cheaper option and gave details of options on invite).
We didn't have an evening do, but the hotel had bars so people hung out for as long as they wanted and as the weather was fab we sat outside until midnight.

That’s covering 2 meals by the time people have travelled. If you only wanted to cover 1 meal I’d go for a 2pm wedding and evening meal or not buffet. A 12-5 wedding needs a buffet in my opinion 🙂

I think it sounds lovely, and I think if it’s a proper ‘afternoon tea’ with lots of options, then I’d be fine with that food wise.

You might find that people who have a long journey might be put off by the fact they’d need a hotel but there’s no evening do, but that’s their decision, just accept up front not everyone will make it.

A catering place near us does an afternoon tea or a "men's" afternoon tea - similar but with a more savoury slant like a home made sausage roll & pork pie in the mix. I don't love the name but it might work well here, especially given you don't need 3 different bits of cake when there is already wedding cake.

I’d split the food out if you did this, seems odd to have canapés then the afternoon tea right afterwards, but I do agree it feels more celebratory!

So I’d do noon arrivals, drinks & canapés.

Guests seated at 12:45, service at say 1pm, followed by the afternoon tea.