What do you think to the saying your coworkers are not your friends ?

[Whatdoyouthinktothis]

I don’t want to believe it as I’ve made a few good friends through work and I hate

and I find it hard to be all mysterious
i prefer being an open book
but I keep seeing things that say this not wise
and that people are studying you etc

Your OP makes little sense. What do you hate?

Of course people can be friends with their colleagues. Many people marry them.

They are human beings and should be judged on their individual merits.

But even with the best intentions people often drift apart as friends when they stop working together. And that's OK.

Your post doesn't make sense OP.

I'm actually seeing a friend tomorrow, who I met through work about 10years ago. She left four years ago.

Your post is a bit oddly phrased and I’m not sure where the ‘hate’ comes in or what being mysterious has got to do with anything.

Personally, I think it just depends on the individuals involved. My closest friends, and my partner, are all people I met at work in different jobs. Equally I’ve worked with people and got on well with them without being ‘friends’.

You make many short term friendships through work, few survive, and some might take advantage to get that promotion, it's not a deep thing.

I made the mistake of
mentioning to a colleague at a works do that a married man who was very good looking had flirted with me and I'd felt quite flattered, I'd had a couple of glasses of wine so my guard was down, but she was on about her third double gin, so next day when I remembered I hoped she'd forgotten. Not so as she spread it round my place of work and also found out where the married man worked and told someone there.

The crazy thing is everyone believed her even though she was quite an unpleasant character and no one ever actually asked me if it was true or not.

I thought i was friends with a couple of coworkers, they were all apologetic when I left and said they'd stay in touch and visit me but they never have. The last time i spoke to one of them was at Christmas when I bumped into them shopping, the other has been even longer, she used to be my neighbour so she doesn't have the excuse that she doesn't know where i live and they both have my number.

Could not be a truer statement. I've witnessed uncountable backstabbing over the years by colleagues.

Not all of my colleagues are my friends. I have several friends I have met through work though and several people at work I do consider friends.

It's not really a saying. I have genuine friends I have met through work. I have lots of colleagues I am perfectly happy to work with but wouldn't pursue a friendship outside work with. And some who I don't trust an inch or just dislike.

Funnily enough colleagues are just like any other group of people. Some you get close to and some you don't.

I have never worked in a competitive environment though. Maybe I’d feel different if I had.

You can meet people who are work friends that help each other get through the day but like in every walk if live at any age but take away the main thing you have in common, your work place then friendships can fizzle out after you leave. True long lasting friendships can happen at work but most are just for the time you are there and maybe a little after when you catch up occasionally

I’ve made several close friends at work through the years and stayed in touch even though i have moved away.

Also met DH at work.

I think it's a hard and fast rule to some people, maybe people that have had bad experiences with colleagues.

I have some people that I would absolutely consider friends who I have met at work, but the vast majority of people at work are Friendly, not Friends. I work with some people who are great to chat to, I enjoy the conversations we have, will go out with them for meals whenever we have in person work events, and discuss personal life but only at a surface level, not in-depth and I wouldn’t contact them outside of work if I was having a personal problem.

Life is much more pleasant if you can be friends (or at least friendly) with your co-workers. You probably spend more time with them than with your family in many cases. I actually married one and I had some of the best nights out of my life with colleagues. But once you leave a place of work, it's quite common for the connection to get lost.

40 years ago my dad told me not to expect that coworkers were my friends as they may be after the same promotions that you were and might do anything to get it. If they were genuinely your friend it was a bonus.
Another quote I have heard about the workplace is "Don't dip your nib in the office inkwell, it might get messy ". (Basically don't have a serial relationship with a colleague as it can take a nasty turn if you break up).

I don't think that is a saying.

I also found the opening post a bit confusing.

Co-workers aren't automatically your friends - it is fine to just be pleasant, get the work done, and then go home. But equally, as in any walk of life, sometimes you hit it off with people and friendships do develop.
I started work over 45 years ago, and, as you might expect have worked in several places. Most of my colleagues I would have a nice catch up chat with if I saw them out somewhere, but don't keep in touch. A couple of places we meet up for a lunch occasionally and enjoy catching up on our current lives, reminiscing a bit about work time, and catching up on any news of ex-colleagues who aren't there, so keep in touch, but not particularly close friends or not particularly regularly. Still 'friendly' I guess. Just occasionally though, you 'connect' with someone and do become good friends, who just happen to have met at work.

It very much depends on your workplace and how much socialising is the culture there I guess, or sometimes, how long you have been there and how closely you work alongside someone.

I've found it broadly true but not in the sense that they are waiting to stab me in the back or even that none of them care about me. It's true in the sense that if you are separated at work or someone leaves, the friend-like relationship very rarely endures beyond saying 'hello' if you see them around the place. There are exceptions to this, but rarely in my experience.

Ive made friends for life through work. Even though we no longer work together, we still meet up very often. It doesn't matter where you meet friends, its about who you connect with.

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

Making work colleagues the basis of your social life is a bad idea. A degree of separation us healthy, and you never know who your next boss could be

That said, you may well find a handful of people who truly are your friends. They are worth it. *(I married one 20 years ago). But that should be the exception, not the rule .

Being friendly with nearly everyone at work us a good idea. Just not best drinking buddies with them all

Oh yeah sorry that didn't make sense did it

I ment to say, I hate when you can't just be yourself and you have to be guarded

I married my work colleague…

generally though I’ve only met one or two people that I’ve stayed friends with through work. Most have drifted since I left those places.

One of my best friends is someone I met at work. 19 years later, our friendship is still going strong.

I also have two friends I worked with over four years ago who I meet up with every couple of months.

I think it’s also not uncommon to be friendly with someone from work but drift once you no longer work together.

There’s people I get on better at work with than others, that’s natural, but I’m on relatively friendly terms with most people. On the other hand, I’ve worked with some truly vile people in the past that I’ve been civil with, but kept at arm’s length.

Get made redundant and then see how much of a friend your colleagues are. Sorry I totally believe that saying. People may say they will stay in touch if you leave, but they dont. And if you get made redundant you will basically be frozen out as they dont want to catch it!