Do you have a favourite mattress? Do you rotate or flip it regularly?

I need to buy a new one. I am a side sleeper. Dreams told me to go for soft mattress whereas John Lewis staff told me I should go for medium. I tried sleepeze which is firm, it was very comfy. I am so confused how can firm feel good when I am supposed to be comfy in soft. Staff also seem to be confused.
I wanted to get tempur as you don’t have to rotate or flip it but I am told you my bed has sprung slats, it’s wont work.

Gemini told me Simba is the best option for me. I tried their hybrid range - didn’t like pro or lux but surprisingly their entry level simba hybrid felt good but it is medium firm.

So I need some help in deciding. Any help or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Please can someone advise? My hair has become steadily more tangled and matted to the extent that after I washed it tonight, I can't get my fingers through it at all. I'm just pulling loads out trying to brush it and now I'm panicking a bit.

I suspected it might be a hard water build up so bought some clarifying shampoo and did a cider vinegar rinse, then used my usual redken shampoo and conditioner. I also bought a filter head for the shower. If anything, it's even worse and even more matted.

The water company where I live has recently advised that the water will be even harder due to the minerals at source. My hair is fine, highlighted and dry anyway and has become wavy and frizzy as I've got older, although it appears straight when dry. It won't hold waves or curls, its too fine and flyaway.

Please, has anyone had this and found a solution? I've got some much broken hair from trying to brush it out and the texture is horrible. My hairdresser is no help, unfortunately.

Roll up, roll up. What are the items in your wardrobe you buy again and again?

Winners for me:

• Tu thermal leggings. Deep waist band creates an hour glass waist, even with my thick middle. Magic tbh. And so warm!
• Jo&Joe loafers from TKMaxx. Comfy as hell. Really good quality.
• Phase 8 v-neck cotton Ts. Look perfect even after a million washes. Worth the money.
• Those slouchy Whistles dresses with the big pleat at the front. Love those.

Anyone else?

This is intended as a friendly, kind, safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations 😊 .

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Has anyone else noticed this? I normally have major resting bitch face and have been told by various people I have a very serious and dont talk to me look.
Despite my attempts to ease my face and give off im friendly vibes most people dont come near me. ( I have honestly thought about a she's friendly badge to put on lol)

Over the past week things have changed. People now ask me questions and even try and have small talk ( today at bus stop) Just a general friendly vibe I get from people all over.

I have made one change
Can anyone guess what?

I’m trying to find out how many Ninja OL750UK Multicookers are failing due to a failure of the lid wiring causing a ‘Plug In’ error. I think this is a design fault as you cannot use it without opening and closing the lid so the product is not fit for purpose if it fails within 6 years of manufacture. If you have either had this failure or have one of these 15in1 multicookers, use it regularly and it has not failed please could you reply with a note of when you bought it? If I get a decent number of responses and a reasonable percentage of failed machines within 6 years of buying then we may be able to convince Ninja to refund every person in the UK their full purchase price rather than admit their failings in court.

DSS5 is 5, joint custody.

When we got married DSS was 2. We lived with DHs mum as he was made redundant just after the wedding and we couldn’t afford the joint mortgage anymore. I worked full time (still do) and worked long hours in order to be able to buy again. We moved into our house in April this year.

Whilst living with his mum, there was no room for 2 bedrooms. DSS slept in a bed in our room which was, I hate to admit it, miserable. He’d wake up in the night constantly and I never got a full nights sleep. I didn’t feel like we had any privacy. When we moved into our new house, I specifically said I wasn’t comfortable for DSS to be in our bed. Reasons included it’s our space, we have sex in there, it disrupts sleep, it’s lack of boundaries, DSS mum might object, I don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with him, and I want a distinction between being a stepparent and a partner - when DSS slept in the room with us, I was expected to interact immediately when he woke up, otherwise I was selfish.

Many times I’ve come home from work and they’ll be watching a movie in our bed or DH gets him to sleep in there. I tried not to say anything but felt like I was being ignored.

I take a proactive role in DSS life. I do school drop offs as it fits with my work pattern, I play with him everyday and generally very loving towards him. I’ve tried my best to be a loving figure to him.

Today at 7am, DSS normal wake up, he came into our room and asked DH for breakfast. DH pulled him up into bed. I said “please can we not do the sharing bed thing” (I was half asleep). He flipped and told me to fuck off, threw a pillow across the room. He said, when DSS was in another room, that I will expect our child to share a bed with us, why should he miss out?

i know i chose to be in a relationship with DH who has a child. And I think I’ve adapted and tried to show him lots of love. But I feel like I’m not allowed a say in anything. Anything I say is perceived as anti-DSS and being selfish. DH also chose to be in a relationship with someone without children, so surely there is understanding that I would feel uncomfortable about bed sharing?

aibu?

I genuinely think this policy (at our GP surgery and I assume widespread) is deeply harmful to patients.

I was given an appointment today with the paramedic - no idea why not a GP - to talk about worsening symptoms (painful, bloated belly, difficulty urinating, sickness, reflux, dizziness). I mentioned that the symptoms are making it hard to know what to take for migraine (chronic sufferer). She snapped ‘that’s a separate appointment.’

The thing is, it’s not really is it? The symptoms I’m having are clearly hormonally driven (worse/unbearable around ovulation) but she didn’t ask about that or really anything about me as a person.

And how do you decide which symptoms are connected to the issue you’ve booked in and which aren’t? Aren’t they going to miss really obvious things if they refuse to understand what is going on with the patient as an actual person, as opposed to a single symptom or problem?

Currently full of some kind of cold/flu/covid virus. When I can taste, favourite poorly food = cream of tomato soup with bread & loads of butter to dip, or toast/crumpets with butter & marmite. Jelly babies or soft fruit jellies and orange Lucozade for sugar.

How about you?

I recently started a new job after leaving a role I’d been in for nearly two years. I was genuinely excited about the opportunity, but it’s been a really difficult experience.

I was promised six weeks of handover and training, but the person I was replacing left after just seven working days. I’ve been left managing a significant workload while still trying to learn the systems and processes.

My immediate team have been lovely, but support from other departments has been lacking, and some interactions have felt quite unkind.

For context, I suffer with anxiety, so my working environment and the support around me make a huge difference to how I thrive. I’ve worked in demanding roles before and I’m more than capable of handling a busy workload, but I need to feel comfortable asking questions, particularly when I’m new.

The situation has completely knocked my confidence. I’ve been working late, constantly worrying and feeling physically sick at the thought of going into the office. It’s also affecting my home life.
I’ve raised my concerns with my manager, but my anxiety has reached the point where I’ve had to take time off.

I’m now considering resigning, but I have a young child, financial commitments and no other job secured. I’m actively applying and speaking with recruiters, but nothing is guaranteed.
I feel like a failure for wanting to leave so soon, but equally I can’t imagine continuing to feel this way.

AIBU to resign without another job lined up, or would you try to stick it out?

Exactly that. Married 25 years. Had a huge arguement tonight as he moaned about lights being left on and it escalated. I said in anger that he can not expect a birthday celebration tomorrow. He said fine.
I’m now not sure what to do?

When in sixth form, my friend had an unplanned pregnancy, went into a bit of denial and by the time it emerged she was definitely pregnant it was too late to terminate. I think she was about eight months pregnant at our mock A levels and deferred the real thing until the following year.

She then went on to have two more children (same dad, not that it matters) and so her family was complete by the time she was 25. At thirty, she went to university, trained as a teacher and has been working successfully and happily ever since. Her children are now 27, 25 and 21, have all finished university, she and her DH are 45 and tbh have had a great life.

I know it sounds like I’m bitter and I’m 100% not! Shes awesome. But I was thinking about the sneery comments she had at the time this morning (I posted a birthday card to her) and now I think how well it’s gone for her. I kind of wonder sometimes if it makes sense to have your kids really young. But then not many people are in a stable enough relationship then. But if you are … I don’t know, maybe it’s something that should be considered.

I've loved charity shopping for over 30 years, but like many I've long mixed it with online second hand shopping.
The stories in this Guardian article are not new to those of us who've read threads on here, work in the shops or know people who do.
I never sell online myself and am a very mindful donatter, but my own eBay addiction and Vinted dabbling is contributing to this in a way.
Shops won't want to discourage donations, but it seems more push back on the mountains of crap is needed.

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2026/oct/13/people-sell-their-best-stuff-on-vinted-how-charity-shops-became-a-dumping-ground-for-unsellable-clothes

I grew fond of a teal tshirt over the summer and realised this was a colour that suited me. Trying to find a jumper in the same colour. Size 12. This is the tshirt!

IToday i’ve realised how much my ds actually posts on social media. I knew he had TikTok and Instagram but not to this extent. I thought he mostly watched videos and followed bands etc but he’s got about 1.5k followers on TikTok and 53k likes altogether. He’s mostly showing his outfits, lip syncing to music and talking about bands he likes. Some of them are quite niche and he gets really into them. There’s pictures of himself too and the odd video talking about how he’s feeling. I just didn’t realise how much he was putting out there.

He’s 14, autistic and has quite significant mental health issues. He’s had a difficult couple of years and barely goes to school now. Last year they were fairly lax about his dyed hair and piercings because he was in the hub for most of the day anyway, it’s a room for the autistic children away from the other pupils. He’s got quite a few piercings already and is constantly begging me for more. The school have now changed their stance and said if they allow it for him they’d have to allow it for everyone, so he’s stopped attending altogether. It’s all got very difficult tbh.

He dresses emo/scene and it’s very much his thing. I’m not against how he looks and he’s openly bisexual on TikTok which isn’t an issue in our house. He doesn’t really have any friends in real life which I do worry about, although he’d probably tell you he doesn’t need any. Social media seems to be where he gets most of his interaction with people.

Some of the comments are a bit concerning. Some people take the piss out of him or call him weird and he’ll argue back for ages instead of just ignoring them. Then there are accounts that look like teenage girls flirting with him, calling him cute and tagging their friends under his pictures. One seems to comment on quite a lot of his stuff. I don’t know these girls or whether they’re actually who they say they are.

He does have an online friend who’s a girl and she’s 16. I’ve actually met her as they went to a small gig together and she seemed perfectly nice, also very scene and they have similar music tastes. So I know not every online friendship is dodgy and I’m not against him having friends online. They get on well and she seems to understand him. It’s the other accounts I don’t know what to make of.

I don’t want to ban everything just because I’m worried, as social media is one of the few places he seems confident and he does get a lot out of the music side of it. With him not really going to school or having friends outside the internet I worry taking it away would leave him even more isolated. But equally he’s not great at judging people’s intentions sometimes and can be very trusting if someone seems to like him. He gets defensive if I question anything and says I’m treating him like a little kid.

I just don’t know if I’m being too relaxed about the attention he’s getting, especially with his mental health being how it is. I knew he had social media, I just didn’t realise how public it all was or how many people were interacting with him.

I'd like to get rid of our bath and install a shower cubicle which would free up some much needed storage space in our small family bathroom.

No one in our household has had a bath in years and I feel a shower cubicle would work better for us (me and two adult DC).

The master bedroom already has a small en-suite shower room which DH uses.

But I'm concerned no bath could put people off buying when we sell up in a few years time (5+ years).

Would you be happy buying a house with no bath?

My ILs live 4-5h away, up north.

Dh usually wfh everyday except Tuesday, and i wfh on Tuesdays only. Yesterday morning he spontaneously announced he was wfh and going into the office on Wednesday instead, so I decamped all my stuff onto the dining table to let him use the home office corner, and did the drop offs as I usually do on Tuesday. But we got to have lunch together in the local caff which was nice, a rare child free moment together.

This morning I phoned my MIL because I wanted to tell her about something to do with DS, and also check that DH had told her about our Christmas plans. She says "oh he mentioned briefly, but I'll be seeing him later anyway". "What, seeing Ben? Today?" Yes, she says she's just getting on the tube on her way to lunch with him, didn't he mention it? Er, no he didn't... She says she's only in London for lunch. Because she barely gets any time alone with him.

What has thrown me is a) why wouldn't he mention that is mum is doing a lovely but eccentric 9h round trip just to have lunch with him, why keep that a secret and b) we are visiting the ILs for half term soon, so surely lots of opportunities for chats?

I texted dh "why didn't you tell me you were seeing your mum for lunch today" and he replied he didn't want to mention it in front of the kids because they'd be sad not to see Granny themselves. But we had loads of child free time yesterday, and he didn't think to mention it, he just made small talk about diesel and the weather and the Holborn by election. No "oh by the way im seeing my mum tomorrow". If he had, id have replied "ah that's so nice of her, don't forget to mention Christmas".

I feel like they both think that I keep him a prisoner or something? He goes out to see his mates of an evening sometimes, and he has lunch with various people, I never stop him from any of that or even ask questions about who he sees, there was no need to keep it a secret.

I now don't want to go up north for half term, I wish he'd just go alone with the kids if I'm so in the way. But the kids would miss me, DS is only 2.

I'm a bit upset, please talk me out of this, mumsnet

Hi, I’m wondering if people can give their perspectives on this relationship and whether I’m fighting a losing battle.

I’ve been with my partner 5 years. He has DD10 and DS11. They are with us every weekend and on Wednesday evenings.

Currently my partner is running a tennis club on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. These classes are 6pm until 10pm (travel inclusive).

This leaves us with Wednesday as “our time”. I’ve expressed in the past that this doesn’t feel enough for me. But he’s told me that he’s unable to drop the commitment at the tennis club.

At the weekends, his Dds are here. DD10 has SEN and acts younger than her age. I love them both every much, I’ve been in their lives for 4 years. But weekends are full on - either driving to clubs, family days out. They go to bed around 10 meaning we don’t have evenings together either. I accepted this and fully embrace them being here. It does feel nice to feel like part of their family and I can’t fault them, they’re lovely kids.

My issue is that I feel like me and my partner are passing ships.

He’s just told me he intends to join the reserve army? He said training will take place Tuesdays 6:30-9:30.

I’m very hurt. It’s the one day a week I feel we have time to be a couple. I think we’ve lost sight of this and function more as a family unit. I know parents do not have time “off” parenting, but I am a parent’s partner. I did chose to date a man with children and I would never begrudge them being here. They’re only here 3 days a week. But every time they’re not here, DP is out doing his tennis, and now, the reserves. If he joins, it will also mean a weekend away from DDs. He’s said that they’re still welcome to come over, and of course they are, but where’s the consideration for what I want?

I’ve told him I think it will negatively affect our relationship if he maintains his tennis club and army training.. he says I’m controlling. Do you think I am controlling?

I tried this in a department store today & loved it. Can't stop sniffing my arm

I am v tempted.

Do you have it?

Hear me out before you attack.

Currently living in rental property after splitting with ex partner. We own the home he is living in jointly.
The landlord of my rental wants to sell and I would like to buy it but the additional 5% stamp duty rate for what would count as a second home is a killer.
Are there any conveyancing solicitors who could advise on how to avoid (not evade) this extra 5%?

Apparently you lot like gunk. The "juicier" the better. I am not a fan, but I've been told that you will bite my hand off for images of my husband's back cyst, with the pus in all its glory. He's now on his second week of strong antibiotics to help remove it and he sees the nurse practitioner twice a week to have more pus removed and his dressing changed. But I have to change his dressing in between times. This is real love.

So I'm doing this for your sake, and for @AMansAManForAllThat.

And you also get a picture or two of his neck cyst that has been drained once, but has refilled and the GP says they don't drain them a second time.

You have been warned.

There are a lot of images over the last month from a red bump that wasn't sore to, well you'll see...

I'm posting this now, then I'll switch to my phone so I can load the images for you.

I’m a single mum to 4, DD13, DS10, DS7 and DD3. DS10 is autistic and needs quite a lot of support with everyday things, especially changes to plans and busy places. He’s not a naughty child, he just gets overwhelmed quite quickly and once he’s past a certain point there’s not much I can do except get him somewhere quiet and let him settle. I’m not really sure how to explain it without making him sound like a nightmare because he isn’t, but it can be hard work.

DD13 has always been quite independent and doesn’t ask for much. She’s into music and seeing her friends and mostly just gets on with things. I’ve probably relied on that a bit too much if I’m honest. Last weekend she wanted me to take her and a friend into town and then collect them later. DS was already having a difficult day and I couldn’t make it work, so she ended up getting the bus with her friend instead. She was fine at the time but yesterday she told me she’s sick of everything being about him and that she feels like she doesn’t matter unless I’m needed for something.

It wasn’t said in a massive row either, which probably made it worse. She was helping me put some washing away and just said it like she’d been thinking about it for ages. I asked her what she meant and she said we never do anything she wants because I’m always worrying about how DS will cope. She brought up a day out we’d planned in the summer that we cut short because he was struggling, and a cinema trip we’d talked about but never actually booked. I could feel myself getting defensive because I do try, and it’s not as if I deliberately choose him over her.

The awkward thing is I don’t have loads of help. The younger three’s dad is around but he’s unreliable, and I can’t always count on him to have them when he says he will. My eldest’s dad has her alternate weekends, but he lives far enough away that he can’t just pop over and take her somewhere. My mum helps if she can, but she’s got her own health issues and I can’t expect her to manage all four.

I know DD13 has missed out on things and I hate that she feels this way. At the same time, I can’t just pretend DS doesn’t have additional needs because his sister wants to go somewhere. Sometimes I can arrange for someone to take him or stay with him, but it isn’t always possible, and I can’t afford to pay for childcare every time either.

I did tell her she matters just as much as the others, but she said she knows I love her and that’s not the point. Which I suppose is fair enough. I just don’t know what I’m meant to say when I can’t promise things will change overnight. I don’t want her to feel she’s had to grow up quicker because she’s the oldest, but I also can’t magic up another adult to help me.

Has anyone else been in this position with siblings, especially when one child needs more support? How do you make the other children feel seen without making promises you might not be able to keep?

Hi all. We are viewing a house this weekend that, if all looks good, we will most likely make an offer on. It's perfect for us.

However I've just done a quick search on Zoopla and the house last sold in December 2025. This has rang alarm bells for me, as the current owners have lived there less than a year before selling again. It was put on the market end of August so actually 8 months after they bought it.

Would this make you nervous? I will be asking the EA why this is the case, but wanted your opinions on whether I should proceed with caution? Thanks!

I’m up at 4am, woken up again by my bad back. I know it’s because of my bed but can’t really afford a new bed and mattress.
I’m single so I suppose sleeping on the sofa is a possibility. It’s big and quite comfortable. Only one DD still at home but DS’s old bed is no better and it would be a nightmare to move .
My current mattress is only 5 years old but has always been way too soft/ bouncy. The bed itself however is about 30 years old! Would a decent, solid bed frame make the existing mattress more bearable?
Reasonable -to buy a new bed and mattress to save my poor old back?
Unreasonable -just sleep on the sofa!

We've been together 15+ years, married with kids last 5, I thought we covered all the topics when it comes to values and principles - especially related to the way we raise our children but turns out he was full of it - to put it bluntly.
Essentially, with meeting new kids/parents through nursery/school - I now realise he is very much leaning toward being,well, racist 😔
You would think - how did I not notice this before....well the thing is he was always respectful to friends or colleagues regardless the ethnicity - but now when we discuss behaviour that our child picks up from the nursery from another child - he attributes/explains behaviours with 'well ofcourse this happened considering he is x'.
Then slowly such vocabulary moved into every day conversations about e.g. neighbours - he'd say derogatory things about particular nation based on behaviour of a single person that affects us.
I am just so blindsided and can't stop thinking about how this will shape our children.
How could I have been so blind...or could he had just pretended all this time, and why??
Or can people change their views about something so basic so dramatically?
Recently he started making mean comments about LGBTQ community too - I mean we have friends that he loves or I thought so...
I am also thinking his mum's recent visit may have encouraged him to speak up - clearly these are the values he was brought up with.
I am also ashamed... I am looking at my DS atm sleeping - he is such a warm friendly loving and a smart boy and he is being exposed to comments like this. He loves all his little friends. He was talking proudly about friends he'd like to invite to his bday and his grandma actually asked him what colour is a certain child...she also described a 4 yo girl in the playground as fat.
I am sorry if this is a jumble of topics here - a husband showing true colours years later, a toxic mil, a clash in values, challenge with co-parenting, protecting a child from instilling wrong values...
So is it that I was blind all this time (YANBU) and I just never got to know him - or people actually can just change their core values so drastically (YABU).