Daughter has come out as gay

[alwaysanewbuild]

My DD has come out as gay. It was a bit of a shock but I love her unconditionally and have accepted it. At Christmas she announced to several close family members that she was gay (she had drunk rather a lot of alcohol) they all hugged her.
There are two family members who I’m very close to who didn’t attend the gathering (they are elderly) but I imagine they will have heard

i am due to see them on Sunday. Do I mention it to them? They are lovely people but old fashioned ideas. I don’t want it to become a thing that is not spoken about and it to be awkward

I don’t really see why it needs mentioning, it’s no big deal is it?

When DS1 came out we were worried about how the grandparents were going to react. One of my friends asked me 'would you be announcing that he is heterosexual?" - which really helped me to get a grip!

You don't need to say anything. If they've heard about it already then they might ask you, but otherwise, no need.

Not your place to say, my daughter has not told anyone else but me and her sister.

Would you announce she was straight?

well would you say they are straight and discuss that ? so why does being gay matter ? how ever your preference then as long as they are loved then why is it anyones business on what they prefer ?

You’ve ‘accepted it.’ How magnanimous of you

There is nothing to say just tell them when she has a new girlfriend.

I was rather surprised that she announced it I’m certainly not ashamed at all but don’t want it to be awkward. I’m overthinking it

@Bebeemeraldwhen I say I accepted it I mean I would rather her be straight but if being gay is her lifestyle choice that’s fine. She is not a child

the easist way then is discuss all other matters , but keep parter preference to the individual person, at the end of the day its upto the individual to make their case when disucssing it with others should they want to defend their choices etc, at least thats my advice and all the best

Fucking disgusting

Whaaaaat are you serious?! Being gay is not a lifestyle choice. It isn't a choice at all. And you'd rather her be straight?! I feel really sorry for your DD, I really hope you work on changing your views before she realises how you really feel. It's the 21st century. Being gay is a natural variant of the population, even a proportion of other animals are gay.

Why would you think elderly people would have an issue? My parents are late 80s and 90, they have no issue with sexuality and accept everyone. A bigot can be any age

🙄 says it all..,

😲 Lovely

It’s not your information to tell? If your Dd wants them to know she can tell them herself?

Your preference for her to be straight is strange. Also, it’s not a lifestyle choice that she’s actively making, it’s who she is

Oh dear I don’t think OP’s done herself any favours with her wording
your clearly overthinking the whole situation
Clam down and just crack on
if it is brought up what’s there to discuss

Oh dear OP I think you are in danger of trying too hard to be accepting, that you will end up tying yourself in knots.

Your daughter is a lesbian, it is just a small part of what makes her, her. Treat her the same as previously but omit the lifestyle choice comment because you sound like an oaf. Why would you prefer her to be straight, it is marvellous being a lesbian 😁

Sounds like you are ashamed of her.

I’m going to leave this thread now as I’ve obviously not used the correct terms
(English is my second language). Thank you for your advice to those who understood

You'd prefer she date males. A statistical danger to women.

Did you announce your lifestyle choice to the older people?

I wish sexuality was a choice.

Edit-crossposted, but still wincing.

You are not fit to be a parent.

Oh give over. It’s not your use of language. It’s your absolute intention. ‘I’d rather she was not a lesbian.’ ‘A lifestyle choice.’ Don’t hide behind language now

Oh my God OP, I hope you didn’t say any of that to her. That’s absolutely awful. Her sexual preferences are absolutely none of your business, and it’s not up to you to pass judgement on her. And it isn’t a lifestyle choice, it’s who she is. You sound very bigoted, you need to educate yourself.

Agreed. Look at as if she were straight you wouldn't announce it.