Lisa for University Student

[Peacequiet]

Our middle one is at university and has done a year in Halls which they didn’t like and know wants to live at home for 5 years whilst they complete their course. University is 20 minute drive away they were gifted a car at 18 and due to take test imminently. They have moved home and are paying £250 a month in rent. We aren’t paying for hall fees (£8K next year!!) so actually it feels a bit like - we aren’t paying and we are actually making money from her. She gets all food and bills included from us but she does have to keep her room tidy and clean the family bathroom and cook one meal and do one extra chore of her choice. Things were bad before she went to university as she was becoming very entitled to everything and winding everyone up and just kind of feet up and ‘bratty’ teenager type behaviour it’s better now but not 100% and we don’t want her taking anything for granted as much as we love her.
She has to pay her own lunches and petrol out of her students loan (£6000) and she has a part time job.

She complained today that she hasn’t got much money (she has booked numerous concerts and trips and train tickets and been clubbing etc) it’s not a hard life. But I feel a bit bad for her paying rent for July and August since she got back. The money is going into her Lisa with the aim that in 5 years she has £25000 and we will then match that to give her £50000 to buy a house.

Does this seem fair?

She’s not great with money so if it is tucked away she won’t spend it.

I couldn’t charge my child rent if they’re in full time education, no.

Is she studying part time and working part time?

How many hours does she work? At the end of the day if she’s living at home she’s going to want (and need IMO) to spend more going out and socialising that she would if she was in halls. That costs more money. But she could also combine socialising with a job and earn more if her degree isn’t too onerous.

I’d be pushing her to be more involved in her money making decisions now does she want a LISA. Do you think buying a house is her future. It feels a bit presumptuous that you’re picking that as her priority over experiences life now. She’s 18 she should be able to have some fun.

She was offered a place in a student house but it was £1000 a month early in September but we said we would only give her an extra £8K towards accommodation and she could make up the difference. It was a blessing disguise as they all fell out with her soon after.

She earns about £450 a month and gets £6 K a year ish by student loan she was gifted £3000 before she went to university. The only expenses she seems to have is socialising and so she has about £10 K a year.

Maybe I’m a bit judgey as she has got a lot of new clothes - I’m talking two more wardrobes full, lots of swanky new trainers, headphones etc The rent came because she was horrendous to live with aged 14-17 pretty vile really to all of us. So we wanted her in hall. She made friends but then fell out with them all.

It’s not easy having her home and the rent is both investment and also the rent is linked to jobs - not many eg bathroom clean once a week and a meal as we feel without it she would revert back to how it was in halls or has been with previous friendships - she can take advantage of all your good will and make you ill. So if she refuses to cook the rent increases and so on. We were actively trying to dissuade her from moving home but she came home in April and refused to go back except for exams (!)

She wants to buy a house but money goes through her hands like water

Not clear to me why you would charge a student rent . I most definitely would not do this. Yes when they have a full time job but as a student? You don’t need the money. I would have tried to help them avoid getting a loan full stop. And would have given them the money they might have otherwise have gotten from me so they might have lower debts. It’s great to be saving it into a Lisa tho. Does she know this? Maybe don’t charge her for July and August? That seems particularly unfair tbh

How about you don't charge rent and then she doesn't need to borrow as much on the student loan?

I think in order to make her better with money, as she's not staying in halls or sharing a house with other students, charging her a nominal amount of £250 pcm is fine. Possibly suggest she splits her student loan into 12 to help her budget, spending 1/12 each month. The Lisa is a good idea because it will give your DD a good deposit towards a house of her own in the future. I think you are doing the right thing getting her to cook once a week. I'd just keep things as they are but remind her she can move in with other students if she wishes.