Question for the 'mellow yellow' folk

[Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice]

I'm well aware that I am going to sound like piss troll but a quick search of my history should prove otherwise!

I'm on holiday with inlaws, I have a tendency to get irritable when I'm forced into close quarters with others so am after an honest reality check from you all.

MN has taught me that lots of people don't flush their pee every time, especially overnight, for environmental reasons or because of noisy plumbing. Cool, I don't leave mine but I understand why people do.

AIBU to think that even if it's your normal family practice not to, you might flush more often when;

1. staying with other people who you are not as close to (i.e. not related by blood, have not shared a home before and in one case not met before)
2. bathrooms are absolutely tiny and anyone entering after you is going to have to manoeuvre around the toilet in order to flush after you so they can use it
3. you are unwell and your pee looks like tea and reeks

AIBU to also think that the lid should be closed on unflushed pee, so as not to let the smell fill the room?

We are all jetlagged so up and down at all hours of the night and I'm getting very sick of being confronted by the sights and smells of other people's piss, but happy to be told if I'm being precious.

Other possibly relevant info - I am the only woman.

It’s always going to be difficult when you’re at close quarters with people other than immediate family, but I think that any toilet visit should always be followed by a flush with the lid closed, whatever time of day or night.

I’d prefer the brief awakening from a flush, to the sight and smell of festering pee.

Hmm. My top priority is quiet at night as I’m a very light sleeper so personally I would be more bothered by people flushing than the sight and smell of wee.

In the day it’s a totally different story, no reason to leave it unflushed at all.

I would not stay in a house where there was a “no flushing at night” rule. Not only is it disgusting, it’s inhospitable. People who are so brittle that they can’t tolerate a guest using the toilet at night freak me out.

In all honesty if you are this close to other peoples piss you probably needed larger accomodation.

I'm definitely a flusher and I've always insisted the DC flush after every use.

However, I don't understand point 2?

What do you mean by 'manoeuvre' around the toilet to flush it? Why wouldn't you just walk up to it and flush?

Also not sure why you're on holiday with them if you have a tendency to get irritable when forced into close quarters with others?

I always wonder what happens to all that bog paper used by multiple adults and not flushed away. Doesn’t it clog up?

I wouldn't put myself in that situation in the first place. If I couldn't afford sufficiently spacious accommodation with more than one toilet or separate hotel rooms, I'd rather stay home.

I don’t always flush but that’s when I’m alone at home. It shouldn’t impact on others.

Ok, some reassuring replies already.

I can't be too specific about the circumstances but yes, they are less than ideal in terms of size of accommodation and having to share with people at all Unavoidable really, but we are all trying to make the best of it, hence me crowd sourcing some advice about whether I should be making a bigger deal of this issue.

@SweeetFannyAdams yeah I haven't really conveyed the bathroom set up well. Suffice to say it's not possible to even pop into the bathroom for a mirror check without the toilet of hell being right there in your face.

It's only pee. It's not going to hurt you.

Is there more than one toilet? If so... maybe designated one as the flushed toilet.. or put up a sign.. flush the loo, close the lid..

I would HATE this.. my husband and son are often guilty of leaving without flushing.. I remind them that I would prefer to be disturbed by the flush than be faced with the pee.. also it makes the place smell bad and makes the toilet more difficult to clean.

Christ that's a supercilious tone but I'll bite.

The accommodation was very expensive, but I'm not the one paying for it. It is a lot smaller than it looked in the listing. It has 2 toilets, I lost my shit (pardon the pun) at 4.30am today when they were both dirty. I too would rather have stayed home but it's a rather important family event.

If only one toilet.. then a sign... a loud sigh every time.. and then 'dear god... who is it who is not flushing the toilet'

PS Tea person needs medical help..

I don’t flush overnight to avoid waking up the kids but first thing in the morning it is gone! YANBU. Especially if no kids involved. You need to say something.

If there are two toilets surely this solves the problem??

YANBU. I don’t flush a wee at night because the bathroom is next to DD2’s room (she’s 4) and she’s a terrible sleeper and I just can’t face getting her back to bed. It’s probably not totally necessary because she probably wouldn’t wake up, but for a bit of wee I’m not risking it.

If other people are staying over, or if we’re staying elsewhere, I always do though.

Yes but why can't you just walk up to the toilet and flush it?

If you can't do that, how can you walk up to it and use it?

We are “don’t flush at night” people ( old house, loud plumbing, tank gurgles away for some time when refilling ) but yes, lid down and first person in the morning just flushes with lid still down. That said I’ve lived in countries where there was a general “let it mellow” rule day and night due to water shortages and I don’t really mind it.

But to your point, if I was away with other people and using a shared bathroom I would flush. If just family I wouldn’t

I'm a mellow yellow person, but point 2 makes no sense to me.

I'd definitely flush if sharing.

if you are sharing a bathroom with visitors then it’s good manners to flush, whatever your normal habits. I would only continue not flushing if I was using a bathroom for my sole use. YANBU op.

You're right. I can flush it.

But I don't want to. I want the person who used it before me to flush it, because of the grossness and so I'm not hopping around waiting for the flush so I can sit down and go.

We usually flush but recently stayed in an Airbnb with a group of (all female) friends and the toilet on hand a very loud pump and macerator, so wet all agreed not to flush overnight but everyone put the lid down, and the first person up in the morning flushed. It was fine and most of us just made sure to use the basement loo before going to bed. I can imagine different in a house full of men!

This would really gross me out. I’m a light sleeper and so is one of my children but I’d still rather people flush than be confronted with the stink of dehydrated peoples piss first thing in the morning!

I'd just casually bring it up, especially if I was the only woman. "Hey guys, can we all flush the loo after we've been, that bathroom is so small that the old 'mellow yellow' just ain't working! Thaaanks!"