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Beauty advent calendars thread 11 for spoilers, offers and stock updates 🎀💐🎀💐🎀
Welcome to Thread 11🎉
A huge thank you to @OvaHere, @JoRaRaRa and @Thelifeofawife,@ilovepond@26inprogress
for the previous threads, and to everyone who has been sharing spoilers, information. links, bargains, discount codes and enabling each other over the first 10 threads. ❤️
As agreed, we're taking it in turns to start each new thread this year. If this thread starts getting close to the reply limit, please post to let everyone know you're happy to start the next one so we can avoid duplicate threads.
🎅 A few festive housekeeping notes:
🎁 This thread contains spoilers.
🎄 Please be kind and respectful to one another.
💸 No judging anyone for their purchasing choices (or how many calendars they buy... we're all enablers here! 😂).
🎀 Feel free to share spoilers, offers, discount codes, GWPs, delivery updates and stock alerts.
🎁 Available Now:
Boots:
www.boots.com/christmas/advent-calendars/advent-calendar-waiting-list
Luxe £150
beauty-detective.com/boots-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance £90
beauty-detective.com/boots-12-days-of-scent-advent-calendar-2026/
Skin £70
beauty-detective.com/boots-24-days-of-skin-advent-calendar-2026/
Liberty – £285 (Beauty Drop members receive £25 off). Now on general sale:
www.libertylondon.com/uk/features/beauty/beauty-advent-calendar#
Unboxing
P. Louise – £250. Available to pre-order with payment instalments available:
https://plouise.co.uk/collections/wonderful-world-of-p-louise-advent-calendar/products/what-glows-around-2026-advent-calendar
John Lewis – £250. Available on pre-sale via the app for MyJL members:
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Harrods Beauty Advent Calendar – £270. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284475
Harrods 12 Days of Hair & Body – £99. Now on sale online and in-store:
https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/p/harrods-of-london-the-harrods-12-days-of-hair-and-body-advent-calendar-2026-000000000000284465
Harrods Fragrance Advent Calendar – £225. Pre-sale sold out. Went on sale in-store 1/9 but appears to be completely sold out:
https://beauty-detective.com/harrods-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Vogue Festive Calendar – £355. Available to pre-order:
https://shop.vogue.co.uk/products/vogue-festive-calendar-2026
Fortnum & Mason Beauty Advent Calendar - £275. Available now:
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/fortnums-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Fenwick 25 day beauty advent calendar - £250. Withdrawn due to problems with the ingredients list. When/if it will return is unknown:
https://fenwick.co.uk/products/fenwick-fenwick-beauty-25-day-advent-calendar-2026
Anthropologie 24 Day Beauty Advent Calendar – £98. Available now:
https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/24-days-of-beauty-advent-calendar5
The Fragrance Shop - Available for pre-order £120 members, £150 non-members.
Women's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76306
Men's Advent Calendar:
^https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/the-fragrance-shop/the-fragrance-shop/gift-box-advent/p/76307
Selfridges
Beauty & Fragrance £250. On sale 1/9:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-beauty-advent-calendar-2026/
Fragrance - current thinking is that this will cost £225 and launch around 30/9-1/10:
https://beauty-detective.com/selfridges-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Elle £197 or £187 if you joined the waitlist or with MissBoux’s code available on her unboxing video:
https://beauty-detective.com/elle-advent-calendar-2026/
LookFantastic Beauty. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-beauty-advent-calendar-worth-over-665/17691363/
LookFantastic Fragrance. Available for pre-order:
https://www.lookfantastic.com/p/beauty-box/the-fragrance-advent-calendar-worth-over-530/17691405/
Glossybox. £90 or £75 for subscribers. Code: KAREN5 may give £5 off the £90. Available now:
https://www.glossybox.co.uk/p/beauty-box/glossybox-2026-advent-calendar-worth-over-645/17691528/
OK Beauty Box advent/Hannah Martin. Available now £109:
https://www.okbeautybox.co.uk/products/the-ok-beauty-box-advent-calendar?srsltid=AfmBOoppTH5x1vrf3PT8oCWpKiUj111T5PdA8IBPKCjA9SYOpugUFCBJ
Cult Beauty £245 - £20 gift voucher back when buying at launch 03/09 early access.
https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/c/advent-calendar/
Harvey Nichols: Due to the recent takeover, it’s unclear if these a/cs are still going ahead for 2026. Details TBC.
Beauty:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-beauty-advent-calendar-2026-75896-258491/
Fragrance:
https://www.harveynichols.com/harvey-nichols/harvey-nichols-12-days-of-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026-75906-258490/
John Lewis Fragrance £99 - appeared briefly for sale 1/9 online but this seems to have been a glitch. The calendar is either out of stock or withdrawn. It MAY reappear 21/9, (its original release date):
https://beauty-detective.com/john-lewis-fragrance-advent-calendar-2026/
Space NK £275 - available now in-store and online:
https://www.spacenk.com/uk/gifts/beauty-advent-calendars/beauty-advent-calendar-MUK200063764.html
Oh My Cream £195 with 20% off for new customers with code: WELCOME20:
https://ohmycream.co.uk//products/advent-calendar-lrnce-oh-my-cream?
YESSTYLE: $164.99 5% off with code: PAULAYES
Early access: 29/9 3am GMT
General access: 6/10 3am GMT
https://beautycalendar.com/yesstyle-advent-calendar-2026/
Sephora UK
Sephora Favourites: £235 available for pre order:
https://www.sephora.co.uk/p/sephora-favorites-advent-calendar?
Next £150 available now:
https://beauty-detective.com/next-beauty-advent-calendar-2026
Debenhams £120
https://www.debenhams.com/pages/beauty-advent-calendar
PURESEOUL £140 (first year they are doing an advent)
beauty-detective.com/pureseoul-advent-calendar-2026/
Holland Barrett: £60 - available now:
https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/beauty-advent-calendar-6101407249?
Diptyque: £420 - available now:
uk.diptyqueparis.com/en-uk/products/advent-calendar-25-scented-treasures-xm26advent?
Jo Malone: £375 - available now;
https://www.jomalone.co.uk/product/26322/107822/gift-sets/christmas-kist-advent-calendar?
Jo Loves Waitlist:
https://www.joloves.com/pages/a-jo-loves-advent-calendar?
💄 More Calendars & Spoilers
Rather than making the opening post a mile long, here's a brilliant roundup of lots more advent calendars and the latest spoilers, including Charlotte Tilbury, Elemis, Lancôme, Tatcha, NEOM, Neal's Yard Remedies, and many more as they're announced:
👉 ^https://beauty-detective.com/category/beauty-advent-calendars^/ 👈

I haven’t updated lists or availability, but I’m sure we all know what’s going on 😀

My DD is in a very bitchy Year 6, doesn’t really have friends at school (has good friends out of school). I let her join a group chat to help her integrate a bit more after a couple of the girls started including her (there’s a lot of ignoring/ freezing kids out of friendship groups). I was monitoring this chat and came across an exchange where one kid wanted my DD off the chat and if she wasn’t removed ‘he would kill her’ (My DD) then her supposed friend laughed (emoji) and wanted to know how he’d kill her, he then responded by saying he’d target her at school the next day.

I went to the teacher and head with a screen capture of this and other accounts of bullying and all I got was a lot of sympathy. They said they’d chat with the kids parents and that’s it. My DD still has to share a class with these kids and there’s been little consequence regarding this behaviour.

AIBU to expect the school to do something tangible about this? Especially considering the language used.

Hello. I am at a last resort to post here.
My daughter is 9, I have referred her for a possible adhd diagnosis.
The teacher she had last year noticed lots of fidgeting, can't sit still, always has to be on the go doing something, picking at the peeling skin on her hands

But for the last couple of months my daughter is stealing
Money from her dads wallet, to the tune of 50 pound, money from friends to the point she's now not allowed back in their house
And she has walked into the shop and stolen from there too.

She's stolen from classmates, usually lip gloss or hair bobbles. She's stolen from her teacher usually post it notes or a high lighter

A parent has just approached me to say she noticed her child's tooth fairy money is missing and my daughter was the last person in the childs room playing with them.
I am distraught and embarrassed

I genuinely do not know what to do here. She will be made to give the money back as always, but she doesn't seem to care. I can promise you now she will not be bothered.
Grounding her doesn't work as again she doesn't seem to care, she doesn't have a tablet to take off her. Shouting at her doesn't work, I cannot stress enough how unbothered she is about what she has gone. She will not show any emotion

My younger daughter is starting to copy this behaviour and steal from the shop and her classmates. I am genuinely very worried for them ending up in trouble with the police and or having no friends left

I have already spoken to the Additional support needs teachers within the school as they helped me to do the referal but they did admit its about a 50 month waiting list. I do not have money to go private. I know I can't excuse her behaviour as having adhd but I can't figure out why she is behaving like this.

Me and her dad are still together, we've been together almost 13 years so its not like she's got trauma from that, nobody in the family has passed away recently. I genuinely cannot explain what is going on

I have a friend and I’m really struggling not to say something.

She is married with a 2.5 year old child. She’s also pregnant with her second.

Her dh works full time but she doesn’t work at the moment, which is fair enough, she has a small child.

But, her toddler has been in nursery 2.5 days a week since he was 1. It’s costing them an absolute fortune and she fully intends to put baby number 2 into nursery too.

She is constantly telling me how broke they are and worrying about money but she sees the nursery as essential because apparently her ds loves it there and it’s all for his development.

Aibu to think that this is a crazy arrangement and find it hard not to say something?

Background for context: I have worked freelance for the last 10 years, and a few years ago I began working for a company 2 short days (10 hours a week) on a consulting basis - I would invoice at the end of each month only for the hours I had worked.

There was a mutual discussion earlier this year surrounding increasing my hours, and I suggested increasing to 2 full days (16 hours a week), but asked if I could do this on an employed basis, as I'd been struggling during the months where I took time off with the irregular income. I understood that my hourly rate would be reduced to account for extra taxes, pensions contributions and holiday entitlement the company would have to pay, which was fine.

My usual working days were Mondays and Thursdays, so I was offered two remuneration packages; one lower value that excluded 5 Mondays per year due to the office being closed on bank holidays, and another of a higher value on the basis that I changed my usual working days to not include Mondays. I asked as a compromise if I could continue working my Mondays during a normal week (as I already had child and dog care in place for those days), but during bank holidays where the office would be closed on the Monday, I would work a different day that week, and this arrangement was agreed and written in to my employment contract.

The company offers 25 days plus bank holidays to full time employees, and so it also says in my contract that I'm entitled to 10 days of annual leave, "plus bank holidays (pro-rata for part time employment)". However, there seems to be some confusion now in relation to these 5 bank holidays and how they affect the number of days leave I'm entitled to.

When calculating my entitlement, my manager is deducting 5 days from the standard bank holiday allowance, and then applying pro-rata, which is leaving me with 2/5ths of 3 days (1.2 days, rounded up to 1.5) instead of 2/5ths of 8 days. He says the bank holidays were sorted separately, and I get paid extra for them, which is why they are taken off first. I'm not sure this is correct - at the time the lower value package was presented more as a reduction for NOT working the Mondays, rather than the other way around. I asked him to clarify - if I'm working 2 days per week, every week, do I not accrue leave entitlement in line with this? I should note that there are no other part time employees at the company, so there is no policy in place surrounding this.

One final bit of info - my manager is also a friend of 20+ years, and is one of three directors at the company, so I don't believe he is trying to short change me - we get on very well both in and out of work and I feel comfortable approaching him about this - I just think he has become genuinely confused with the initial discussions around bank holiday days and I just wanted to gain some perspective from anyone who has worked in HR and has experience with part time employees and how leave entitlement should be calculated? As it stands, he thinks I should have 11.2 days per year (rounded up to 11.5) and I believe I'm entitled to 13.2 days (which would ideally be rounded up to 13.5).

My son and DIL have a young child. For the first two Christmases of my grandchild’s life, they spent Christmas Day with DIL’s parents. We recently asked what they were planning for Christmas this year and my son told us that, from now on, they want to spend Christmas Day just the three of them. They’re going to see DIL’s family on Boxing Day and have said they’ll see us at some point…

I completely understand them wanting to make their own traditions and I know they’re entitled to spend Christmas however they choose. But I’m really quite hurt.
I think what makes it difficult is that DIL’s parents had the first two Christmas Days with our grandchild. We never had a Christmas Day with them, and now it feels as though the opportunity has disappeared altogether. I suppose I’d always assumed the families might alternate at some point.

I don’t want to guilt-trip them or cause an argument, and I wouldn’t expect them to change their plans just because I’m upset. But would I be unreasonable to tell my son that I feel hurt and disappointed by it? Or is this something I should keep to myself and simply accept?

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

Just been into town. Went to Primark, M&S and Next. I am after a winter dress, but primark had no dresses at all, Next only had 2 casual type dresses (both denim shirt type dress), M&S was all brown and beige and over priced.
I don’t have a huge amount of money to spend on clothes, I have gained a little weight (thanks menopause) and my trousers are a little uncomfortable so I wanted a dress that I could layer and wear with tights and boots as it gets cooler, possibly needle cord in a plain colour. I was hoping to grab something in town whilst shopping with dd but the clothes in the shops are just disappointing.

Are there any good online shops with high street prices?

Before anyone suggests vinted, I have been looking but can’t really find what I am looking for…..I’m not even sure I know what I am looking for.

Am wanting to get a manager at work a nice little christmas gift, i work for a law firm and she’s a partner, she’s quite classy so want to get her something nice but don’t have the budget for the white company or similar.
any recommendations that are cheaper but still nice? Thanks

Mine is: nothing is allowed to be stored in the loft. Nothing. Not even Christmas decorations or suitcases.

I get the feeling that if just one thing is allowed to live in the attic, then all sorts of crap will be ‘stored’ there until we die.

Personally I don’t think it’s odd at all, but my DH thinks it’s utterly bananas.

Anyone else?

I’m just relentlessly tired. I feel like I do the right stuff and can never get ahead, it’s constant grinding worries.

single mum to three kids, work full time, one child has some disabilities. Work full time, on an okayish salary but still get some universal credit. money is just permanently on a knife edge, I can never relax. The gov took away the vouchers they used to give out for kids on FSM in the holidays, or the car needs tyres or the school stop allowing the kids PP to subsidise school trips. Every month it’s like something else.

my ex is a relentless prick who pays next to nothing in CMS but seems to think he’s gods gift to the earth for paying something. My eldest won’t even be in a car with him, meaning I get zero time on my own ever. He will have the younger two sometimes. He does no parenting, if my disabled child has an appointment (which there are a lot of) he says he can’t take her because he’s working - as if the only plan of mine it interrupts is lying on the couch… I’m knackered. Juggling work / kids / constantly behind and there is nothing left for me in either time or money.

I live in permanent fear that something will happen to me, that I’ll die or be put in jail or become disabled and be unable to look after them or work. I’ve been having panic attacks at night about it, though sleeping with a sitcom on has been helping a bit. I’ve started taking anti depressants and I take vitamins.

I’m just exhausted. I’d like life to be easier and to feel less weighed down. On the flip side, objectively things are not terrible. We have a nice home, I’m not in debt, the kids do some extra curriculars and are happy ish and my job has the potential for salary increases. Why do things feel so hard? Sometimes I feel like I just can’t go on.

As the title goes single Mum to one and just not interested in dating a man with kids. I dont want the responsibility of another at the moment. I dont even want more of my own as i had a bad birth. Most of the men i know are single parents have children with different women who they dont even see. And people try and act like you're a hypocrite for not wanting to indulge chaos, impulsivity and neglience. And yes there are the exceptions of good dads who were in long term relationships that failed but they're not common round here

I discovered a lump on my neck last Sunday out of the blue when I was standing in a shop. It is about the size of a big grape and it’s sitting above my collarbone just to the right. I only noticed it as my jumper was annoying my neck. I’ve been to the GP and she felt it with quite a grave face and said that I needed an urgent referral to ENT. I have just had an appointment booked for the 27th of October but I am oscillating between not thinking about it and then panicking. I’ve not told anyone in real life because then it makes it real. This is quite hard even writing it here as I’m not sure I want to know the possibilities of what it could be, but I also do.

Can anyone help, advise or hold my hand? Thank you 🙏

Inheritance Tax in the news again today after the Tories pledge to exempt family homes..

It's always such an unpopular tax, and I get why - it does seem unfair to pay a tax on your assets when you die (even though, I know, most estates don't pay anything).

Of course the opposite argument is that it's unfair for the recipients of estates to get rich off the backs of their parents.

So I wonder if it would be unreasonable to abolish IHT and tax gift receipts instead. So instead of the estate paying tax if it's worth a certain level, the dead person can leave it all tax-free, and tax is only paid by recipient's if they receive a gift above a certain level of value.

That way the dead person pays no tax (which seems fairer) and also the lucky gift recipient does pay tax (which also seems fairer). If you set the tax level at the same marginal rate as income tax then if you split your estate so that nobody got more than £12,750, nobody would pay tax at all on their gifts. This might encourage proper redistribution of wealth.

Am I being silly? I'm sure there are many reasons why this wouldn't work, but I'd like to hear what they are so that I can stop thinking that this is a good idea!

Fully prepared to be told I'm expecting too much but I'm getting frustrated with my husband at the state he leaves the house in the morning. We both wfh and I usually do the nursery run in the morning (he does pick up).

So I leave the house at 7:45am and he gets up and starts work between 8-830am. Usually when I get back from the nursery run (about 8:25 and I start work at 8:30), I then have to do the following things because he has literally just got out of bed and walked into his office;

Let the dog out
Make the bed
Open the curtains and blinds throughout the house
Collect dirty cups from the bedroom (we have a morning coffee in bed) and take them downstairs
Reset our daughters room (make bed, open curtains, collect dirty nappy bags and take downstairs)
Empty and reload dishwasher

Then start work.

I've brought it up before and he just says he doesn't think things like making the bed or opening the curtains are important and he 'doesn't notice'. I like a nice, reset house to start work in the morning.

On the odd days I have to leave the house for work, I often return home in the evening the same situation, so it's not just a preference for when these things get done.

Am I being too particular and high maintenance?

I’m posting because I’m still really shaken by this and would appreciate some advice and support.

Yesterday evening I was driving home with my six-year-old daughter after taking her to a sports session 20 minutes away. I live in a small town and the sports location is rural. The session finished at around 7pm and it was dark outside.

On the country road home, I became aware of a vehicle following very closely behind me. Suddenly the vehicle then overtook me, stopped abruptly in the middle of the road and a large male got out on the dark road.

He approached my car shouting and swearing at me. He could clearly see that I had my six-year-old daughter in the car.

I was frightened and tried to get away from the situation.

I tried to overtake, and another vehicle behind the first one then overtook me and positioned itself in the right-hand lane, facing oncoming traffic.

At first I thought I might be able to follow this vehicle and get away from the first driver, but I then realised the second vehicle appeared to be involved too.
The first vehicle was blocking the left-hand side of the road and the second vehicle, a huge Hilux, was positioned on the right-hand side, facing the direction of oncoming traffic.

It was a narrow, dark, bendy country road. I couldn't get past them, and I didn't feel I could safely reverse my small car either. The larger vehicles could manoeuvre much more easily than I could.

At that point I was trapped with my little girl in a dark isolated country road with an angry man with an accomplice. There was no connection on my phone and i was shaking like a leaf.

The second driver wasn't the person who had been shouting at me, but the positioning of his Hilux meant I couldn't get past, and I had no idea what was happening or what their intentions were.

I put my hazard lights on, started sounding my horn and was screaming because I was so frightened.

The driver of the Hilux could see that I was distressed and that I had my child in the car.

I honestly thought I was being carjacked.

I was terrified that one of them might force me out of the car, that the situation could escalate, or that either me or my daughter could be harmed. I was also very worried about the Hilux being positioned facing oncoming traffic on a narrow bend at night and the potential for a collision.

Eventually, because other traffic was coming through, the vehicles moved and I was able to get away and continue towards home.

Afterwards, the Hilux continued to weave through traffic in a way that interfered with my journey and made me feel intimidated. I don't know what happened to the first vehicle at that point.

I got the car registration and reported it to the police. I'm not sure what they did was even a crime? I don't know what is going through peoples minds to do this to someone on a dark country road. Working in tandem? I can only imagine they are awful people.

AIBU to think this was extremely frightening and potentially very serious, or am I catastrophising what happened?

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

And is there anything else you think I should be doing now that I've reported it to the police?

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some outside opinions.
MIL is in her 80s, lives about two hours away, doesn’t drive and has been on her own since FIL died 15 years ago. DH is an only child, so realistically we are the only family she has at Christmas.
She is extremely introverted and has always found staying anywhere other than her own home very difficult. She doesn’t particularly like coming to ours and can only really cope with being around people for a couple of hours.
Historically, when she comes for Christmas, she wants DH to collect her late on Christmas Eve and take her home first thing on Boxing Day. With the driving there and back twice, DH ends up spending about five hours of Christmas on the road.
This year my parents are coming to us. MIL has never spent Christmas with us when they are here. There’s no falling out and she doesn’t dislike them — she just finds having other people around very difficult — so I strongly suspect she will decide to stay at home.
Normally I would think that was entirely her choice.
The complication is that when she has stayed at home in previous years, she sometimes hasn’t answered the phone all day and has even unplugged it. DH then becomes so worried that he drives two hours there to check she is OK and two hours back. On the occasions this has happened, she has been absolutely fine.
However, this year we are also concerned that she may be developing dementia and are waiting for an assessment. She is increasingly forgetful and there have been occasions when she hasn’t remembered who we are. So I completely understand why DH is worried about leaving her alone.
DH is now suggesting that if she won't come to us, he drives up on Christmas Day, spends a couple of hours with her and drives home. Realistically he could be gone for six or seven hours.
And this is where I’m struggling.
I don't want to be horrible about an elderly woman potentially developing dementia, and if this were my mum I know I would be worried too. But I also don't think the answer can be that DH spends a huge chunk of every Christmas driving around the country.
She is invited to ours. We genuinely want her to come and would make her welcome. She could have a quiet room to retreat to and wouldn't be expected to sit socialising all day. But if she decides she would rather stay at home, should DH then miss most of Christmas Day to go to her?
The other thing I'm struggling with is that even if DH agrees not to go, I'm not sure how any of us actually enjoy Christmas.
My parents will be here, but if MIL is at home alone and not answering the phone, DH will spend the day worrying about whether she's OK. I'll know he's worrying and I'll feel guilty trying to enjoy myself with my parents while he's anxious about his mum. We'll potentially spend Christmas Day waiting to see whether she answers the phone and wondering whether DH is going to end up getting in the car anyway.
So it feels as though whatever we do, Christmas ends up revolving around MIL.
There is also some history that probably affects how I feel about this. DH had a very difficult childhood and left home at 16. From 16 until he met me at 29, MIL essentially left him to spend Christmases without her. I have to admit I find it hard not to feel some resentment that our family Christmases now revolve around making sure she isn't alone when she didn't seem to have the same concern about him when he was young.
At the same time, she's his mum. She's elderly, she's alone and she may have dementia. I absolutely don't want DH sitting at home worrying that something has happened to her, or feeling terrible if he doesn't go. And if this were my own mum, I suspect I'd feel exactly as he does.
We also have an 11-year-old son, and I feel quite sad at the thought of his dad disappearing for most of Christmas Day. There aren't that many childhood Christmases left.
I'm starting to think the real issue is that we need some way of knowing MIL is safe without DH having to drive four hours every time she doesn't answer her phone. If she is becoming unsafe to be left alone, then obviously this is much bigger than Christmas and we need a proper plan for her care.
But in the meantime I don't know what the answer is.
If she comes to us, she will be unhappy because my parents are here and she finds being around people overwhelming.
If she stays at home, DH will worry about her.
If DH goes to see her, he misses most of Christmas with us and our son.
And if he stays home but spends the whole day worrying about her, I'm not sure any of us will enjoy Christmas anyway.
AIBU to feel that we can't keep doing this every Christmas? And what would you actually do in our situation?

I have been going round in circles with this for months. I have recently had a significant pay rise and want to continue buying investment pieces of clothing. I have recently came out of an abusive relationship and want to treat myself well.

should I buy a Barbour? I love this one, https://www.barbour.com/gb/icons-tartan-collar-modern-beadnell-waxed-jacket-LWX1582OL71.html?_gl=11mjekn4_upMQ..gs*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw25fWBhAVEiwAMopNjjuJBIKUwafdXsnpjVZl2Hj7-Ike3RvESbDk6k-590QDQcHSXnxkBoCMUcQAvD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAADtGNrhYTSGU2_0xQyGo4bCUL3A9v

any Barbour fans that would recommend. I have no landrover, dog or tweed cap but I love them 😂

Pregnant with my second, first boy. My daughter also has a traditionally “old lady” name. Husband and I have fought for months over boy names and this one is in our top three.

I know people find it nerdy but I find it cute. Just how bad is it? I can take it. 😆😩 I fear I’m not going to be able to name this kid until he’s earthside.

Still interested! , still not bored ( well slightly!) 😁

I've always washed clothes at 40 degrees, bedding & towels at 60 degrees and had one or two items that need to be done at 30.

I've noticed more and more clothes now say 30 degrees - DH work shirts, teen boy t-shirts, dresses, even jeans.

My washing system is now all over the place as instead of doing 1 machine load of DH's shirts, I'm doing 2 part-full loads, one of 30 degrees, one of 40. Its driving me crazy as the washing machine is on more often and it feels like more effort. A lot of the teen 30 degree stuff is strong colours which I worry about coming off on DH's shirts. I have accidentally washed some of the 30 degree teen stuff at 40, with the result that the colours ran.

Anyone else noticing this is becoming more of an issue?

has anyone else had this and could advise? dad received a letter this week saying that he is entitled to part of a ladies estate, him and his brother except his brother passed earlier this year. We haven't heard of this woman's name before, I have googled the solicitors who sent the letter an all looks legit, I've been in touch via email and again everything seems to be ok BUT we have been caught with a scam before and are extremely nervous of things like this, the other issue is we have 6 weeks to act but the letter arrived almost 3 weeks after it was sent so we are already short on time. They want bank details (acc no sort code) and form of ID.

Part of me thinks well how else would you notify you and what more can I do to check it's legit? the other part of me is thinking its so random its got to be a scam?

Advice stories welcome tia

I’ll get to the core of it: I think that my husband was abused (or groomed and abused), and I am struggling to come to terms with this, especially because he pretends that everything is fine even though it clearly isn’t.

This comes off the back of a conversation that he had with his closest friend with both me and said friend’s partner around which made it quite clear that both of them had been taken advantage of but laughing it off, although I did notice his friend seeming uncomfortable and even saying that that hadn’t been right. To be honest I found it really hard to listen to, but it’s also opened my eyes to why he is the way he is.

I asked DH about it afterwards and he again brushed it off and said that he didn’t regret any of it and that he didn’t think that the woman in question (who had been in a position of power) had done anything wrong. And this is 100% in line with his default approach to any abuse case which is why it’s always driven me insane when he kept defending the perpetrators in a way. And now finally it seems to make sense and he still refuses to even think about it.

I’m sorry because I’m rambling in frustration. I’m both angry and frustrated at the same time (not angry at him) because to me this is a massive deal but I know that I can’t push him because it wouldn’t be fair.

I think that I picked a bad title but I didn’t know how to even describe this. Thank you

Cringe and why?!