Saw a friend after a 20 year gap and the whole thing was weirdly unnerving. 1 other was there but they were fine. Said ‘friend’ spent whole time on about ‘bad’ stuff I did as a teen, had I told my family about it & loads of statements about what I am like, my taste etc, eg asserting I am same. I challenged one thing, but waa a bit blindsided.

I had a tricky youth (family stuff) and was off the rails for a couple of years but totally turned it round and have done amazing stuff as adult. Said friend stayed in home town.

It’s weirdly shaken me up. We all agreed to meet again but really not keen.

Any thoughts…why would they do this.

There are some very wealthy folk we know & some I'm acquaintances with on fb from college. All seem to run off similar schedule for holidays... Christmas skiing in France/Switzerland (same place every year) Midterm said place again, summer is always spent somewhere in France ,Italy or Greece (but always the same town)
That's it never different countries... it seems to me they are not well travelled & that familiarity is more important than going somewhere new for the heck of it! Aibu?

I'd like to ask for people's thoughts about this situation involving my DM. She is in her early 60s. She hasn't had a holiday abroad, or even a domestic break somewhere in the UK, for 12 years. The main reason she hasn't is that she is worried about her house being empty and unattended for a prolonged period of time - anything more than a couple of days basically. She doesn't have any close friends or relatives who live close enough to allow them to keep an eye on the house, or house sit for her, if she was to go abroad. I myself live around 80 miles away, so it just wouldn't be practical for me to travel there and back every day, which is what she seems to want.

I would assume that most people who go abroad on holiday, or are absent from their home for any other reason, have someone who can either stay in the house or at least keep an eye on things by visiting the house once a day or so while the owner or occupant (my DM in this case) is absent. As mentioned, my DM doesn't have anyone who is able to do this for her. She also doesn't speak to her neighbours, so she wouldn't feel comfortable asking them. Her house is flanked by two other houses on each side, and backs on to another house at the rear. She's had some difficulties with the neighbours on one side, has barely spoken to the neighbours on the other side, and only speaks to the neighbour in the remaining house once in a blue moon. I'm not quite sure what the solution is. I feel sorry for her as I think she could use a break. What would you suggest?

AIBU to think the trend for Lingerie lace and silk as outer wear is really odd?
Everywhere I look there’s cheap lace appliquéd onto skirts and t shirts.

Then today I saw bra’s, as t-shirt motif’s.

AIBU to think this trend is awful.

I care for my wife and I follow the carers topic on here.
I am surprised how many posts there are asking for careers advice. Do the posters not realise there is an extra "e" in careers?

As above really, myself, DH and 3 DC went to our friends’ house yesterday on the promise of some drinks in the garden and a BBQ.

They said they were having issues with their BBQ so would do an ‘indoor BBQ’. This consisted of beige food from Iceland!!

AIBU to find this a woeful alternative?

Hello, looking for suggestions for a "day bag" to take on holiday
It needs to fit water bottle, cardigan, food, other stuff for my kid! So fairly big
Not a handbag or feminine style. I'd like a rucksack style
Strong so it lasts and can hold a heavy bottle of water etc, but not a hiking bag or solid shape, I want to be able to squish it under the seats on the plane!
Waterproof would be great too!
Any suggestions?

I have a teenage daughter and y2k and late 90s ‘vintage’ clothing is very ‘in’ - hence I am on vinted etc looking at the very clothes I wore in my youth.

It has struck me that the quality is incredible - embroidery, proper pleats and waistbands and lots natural fibres. I had known this was the case with more traditional fashions from St Michael’s and C and A - but many of the clothes are from Primark and New Look. It seems that we were initially lured with very cheap pricing and poor fabrics and workmanship and now it’s no longer cheap - with poor fabric, along with no darts, waist bands, women’s shaping. It seems to be all smocking, elastic , unlined and so on. All the vintage shops in my town are sports wear/ shell suits/ carhartt and so on - I need to find these clothes!

Examples below. Wish I hadn’t dithered on the teal skirt. Although I am v reluctant to spend the £25 some sellers are asking for vintage primark clothes!

My teen (16) is has entered a phase of being a bit demanding -as her independence grows, she's asking for lifts and collections more frequently. I really want to support her having a social life and try new things so, as long as she uses public transport on the routes she feels safe and confident using, I'm happy to, within reason, fill in a few transport gaps when she wants to venture to areas which aren't easily accessible by bus or train.

We've had talks about giving reasonable notice and her sticking to agreed timings (eg being ready to actually leave on time) and that it's her responsibility to make sure any friends are ready if they are also included in the lift.

This last fortnight, there have been occasions where I've had to pick her up on her attitude to the lifts, and, to my disappointment, she's not responded particularly well: she's tried to flip it to make me sound unreasonable, stretched timings and changed plans last minute, and then asked for further lifts without acknowledging or really apologising for her attitude previously. This morning I heard her complaining to a friend about how unreasonable I was being, telling the friend that she'd spoken to yet another friend about it too, and that the other friend 'totally agreed' that I was being 'out of order'.

Now I'm thinking that she can stuff her lifts, and her friends can do one. I've been waaay too accommodating. But apparently, her friends' mums drive their DC places all the time, at the drop of a hat.

What boundaries or agreements do you have in place with giving rides, dropping off and picking up your teens? Like I say, I do want to be supportive of her growing independence, but not be taken for a ride (pardon the pun). How do I convey an understanding that, while I don't mind driving her places, a bit of consideration wouldn't go amiss? My perspective is a bit skewed -I'm possibly a bit quick to help others out, but absolutely hate asking anyone for help, and also hate the idea of ever feeling beholden to anyone or, indeed, my DD having to feel beholden to me.

Ever felt really old.
Yesterday I went to the shop after work. I'm going to Spain next week for 4 days. DH loves English mustard and it's not available locally.
Since I am not taking a bag I thought I'd get dried colmans powder.
I hunted up and down fruitlessly. I asked a young couple (probably 25ish) if they could see any.
Neither knew what it was. They were bemused at the idea it didn't come ready mixed.
A couple of the staff had the same reaction.
Luckily an older staff member came to my rescue.
I am almost certain that my 25 year old daughter knows what it is.

Add a touch of elegance to your home with our pet canvas art. Crown & Paw offers a stunning selection of canvas prints featuring your beloved pet. Each piece is carefully crafted to showcase the beauty and personality of your furry companion. Shop now and elevate your decor with pet-inspired art.

Does anyone know of an inexpensive one that smells lovely? I see that Loewe do a tomato leaves body lotion, but at £72, it’s a bit beyond my budget. I have found several others via Google, including an RHS one, but just thought I’d see if anyone here had a recommendation. Thanks in advance!

I need urgent help with severely matted hair. My teen dd is housebound, hasn’t been out for over 2 years and has severe OCD / anxiety and autism.
Her hair has become severely matted due to not washing it or brushing it. We tried to have a go at detangling it dry, it didn’t work, so looked up advice / videos online and said to try olive oil to give it enough slip…tried that, no good, tried conditioner, no good. She ended up putting a tiny bit of shampoo on the mat to get rid of some oil but then after that she was exhausted and distraught, so gave up.
With her OCD, she hates having stuff on her hair or skin, so this is like her worst nightmare.
Her hair is really long and fine, there was split which we managed to undo a bit but the rest is just swallowed up in the matted bit.
She won’t go anywhere to see a professional hairdresser and I’m finding it difficult to find someone to come to the house.
I’ve ordered some African pride moisture miracle pre shampoo and also some
cowboy detangler after looking online.
Can anyone help? Any suggestions? I’m just devastated it’s gotten this bad and I just feel awful for her. I dont want her to lose her hair, it’s literally the only bit of her she ever liked 😔

We are on our honeymoon in Corfu. 9 year old step daughter is on holiday in Mauritius with her mum who has asked for a brief call for our step-daughter. My question is whilst this doesn’t really bother me, should step daughter be able to manage without a call for a week (we only left on Saturday). Is this about my husband’s ex partner wanting to interrupt our break. Or am I reading to much into it, I don’t have children so appreciate I may not have the best perspective on holidays and what is usual.

Have just returned from a week all inclusive in Greece.

I used to be a bit snobby about all inclusive and assumed it would be a bit crap but honestly having done it a few times now I think it’s such good value.

Admittedly it’s not as authentic as some other types of holiday. But we’ve just paid 3k for a 5 star AI.

The room was lovely with a patio overlooking the pool. There was a huge waterpark with our ds loved and no queues so we all went on as many times as we liked. There were 8 al a carte restaurants in much mixed it up and got us away from the buffet madness. Where we were able to have relaxing 3 course meals with drinks. There were 5 places you could eat for lunch buffet style.

A private beach for hotel guests only.

If you just want some fun in the sun with your children and not to have to cook for a week I think it can be outstanding value for money.

After a long, painstaking and expensive search I have finally found some knickers I was happy with. The right type of fabric for my preference, the right style and they fit! don't squish me in on the waist band, don't have my little belly fat sticking out at the bottom. Don't give me a wedgy. And only £22 for a pack of four (Victoria's Secret from Next).

Alas, my joy was short lived. After one day, I am back to the never ending drawing board of finding pants I can wear. All the above reasons stand, they're perfect on paper - BUT - feminine items will not stick to them! Not even a bit. It's so weird. I like to wear a daily pad, just to feel hygienic through the day in case of small leaks (thanks kids), but they will not stick to my new pants at all. OK, I thought, I'll just hold the pad in place in while I pull them up and then they'll just stay there. WRONG. Not only did they not stay there, the otherwise super comfy pants somehow turned the back half of my pad into some sort of bum floss which I was then constantly trying to unwedge. And when I went to the toilet and lowered them, the pad was nowhere to be seen. Oh wait, there it is dropped out onto the floor (thankfully not in the toilet bowl!).

There's absolutely no way I'm chancing that with with a sanitary towel when I get my period.

(btw, I did think maybe after a wash they'd stick better. Made no difference)

So that's another £22 down the toilet (pun intended) and I have to consider the perfect pants just don't exist.

Is it just me that finds buying basic every day pants so bloody hard!

New thread and it's welcome to the roaring twenties beauty addicts!

It's been a little quiet on the exciting edit and beauty releases front what with all the advent malarky but summer is drawing to a close and soon those autumn/winter releases and holiday edits will be popping up to tempt us.

If you're new here welcome and hello and for everyone else nice to see you back on Mumsnet's most tempting thread series that you cannot ignore even if you want to. 😈😍😂

Late last year, I separated from my husband of 5 years (no children together). We had a good marriage in most areas, but constant arguments over poor communication, in the main this was his passive-aggressiveness, defensiveness and lack of motivation which wore me down. He also stopped taking care of himself, which stifled my attraction. I finally snapped and said he needed to get help, then when he didn’t, I left.

Since then, he has genuinely worked on himself and got help. He communicates better, takes care of his health, and shows more self-awareness (though he still slips into old passive-aggressive habits occasionally). Because he is improving, my anger has faded. I also recognise my own role in choosing him and ignoring these traits initially. He is clear that he wants to reconcile, and I know he still loves me.

However, during our separation, I met someone new by chance. This new relationship seems to be the opposite: he is emotionally mature, self-aware, and a good communicator. Initially this was a mutual attraction as we got on like an house on fire. He says he was happily single and I had no intention of getting into another relationship this quickly. We both developed feelings because we seem compatible in terms of energy and outlook on life. It feels calm and refreshing, no rollercoaster of emotions and his actions match his words. But it is very early, and we haven't faced many real life hardships yet.

I am fine being alone (I was chronically single by choice before meeting my husband), so I'm not staying with anyone out of fear of loneliness.

My H’s growth is forcing a tough choice. Is there too much water under the bridge to go back, or is this new relationship giving me hope for a different future? Starting again with someone new is always a risk and a leap of faith.

Ultimately, I don't know whether to close the door on our shared history, or return to the marriage we already spent years investing in?

Has anyone navigated a similar crossroads?

Hi,

Im getting married in early October. Really simple wedding: me, my partner and my parents.

Im really struggling to figure out what to wear. I fully intended on just going in jeans but my partner is keen to dress smarter, so I feel like I should too.

I do NOT want to wear white/ivory and I don't do floral prints. Apart from that im pretty open to anything, im 35, size 6-8 and 5ft 4. It doesn't have to be a dress either, open to trousers etc. Budget £100, but will also be scouring vinted for bargains 😅

Anybody got any ideas?

So, I have woken up this morning to a fairly devastating message and my husband is not helping at all.
To cut a long story short, I have woken up to a message from one of the mums at DS's school telling me that both on Friday when she dropped her DD off (Scotland so we went back last week), and yesterday when she dropped her DD off at Gymnastics and went to sit in her car (DS goes to gymnastics too), my DH made some sexual advances on her.
She didn't elaborate, I have asked her to but she messaged around 9pm last night and I only just saw it when I woke up this morning, so she might be busy this morning and just hasn't seen my reply.
I asked DH for more info, and he said thats just not true. He claims he hardly spoke to her on Friday, and yesterday when he saw her parked up offered to buy her a coffee, so he did then they sat in her car together, he claims nothing else happened.
However last year he did make a joke about some of the mums of DS's friends being "smoking hot, 10/10s".
I know this woman fairly well, she is married, but much younger than us, maybe mid-20s, DH and I are knocking on 40. I actually went to school with her older brother and remember her when she was very small!

AIBU to think DH is just lying to me? What would she get out of sending me that if it wasn't true?

My parents moved back to my dad’s home country in March. We plan to visit them in October in the school holidays.

My sister has asked us if we will take her children and step child with us so that they get to see our parents but mainly to help with childcare as she and her partner have to work. Her partner is away with work that week and the week after.

My parents are ok with us bringing them all but I know it would end up with us looking after the youngest. Our children are 16 and 14 so we are at the stage where we can relax on holidays. My sisters kids are 15 and 13, step child is 7 so she still need looking after and more supervising.

Are we unreasonable not to take them with us or only take the older 2? We haven’t had a summer holiday this year so we were looking forward to relaxing holiday. We suggested just taking our nieces but got the usual stuff about treating them all the same. She’s not the same because she is 7 and needs looking after, and yes, also, she isn’t our niece so it is different.

DS can’t take the week off as she is too busy at work with a project at that time apparently. My husband says we may as well stay home if we aren’t going to be able to relax properly and it’s gone from something we were all looking forward to, to something that we don’t want to do. We are all reasonable happy to take our nieces as they don’t need looking after as such and they won’t change the vibe of the holiday.

My sister insists step child is ‘easy’ so we will be able to relax. That won’t be the case as I will feel very responsible for her and obviously she may miss her dad, my sister and her mum. She lives 50/50 between her mum and dad. Her mum is on holiday and this is her dad’s time. He’s away with work which annoys me more. I also find it strange that the little girls mum is fine with her coming away with us when we have only met her mum twice. I feel sorry for the little girl quite honestly, but we really want a break.

Sorry if it’s all a bit jumbled but hope I’ve explained it all. What do you think?

Help me find it?

Every year I stand on the side of a pitch in the rain & wind watching DC do “sport” and shiver/get wet/overheat/feel bedraggled

There is always a stylish mum looking amazing - where is the perfect coat?
i need it to be well below knee length with a decent hood that comes well over my head (blooming Schoeffel and their stingy hoods!)

I have looked at Didriksens, Ilse Jacobsen and Rains - anywhere else to try? I’m thinking Nordic/Scandi brands might be best for this?

(please don’t suggest Seasalt - I’m tall and their long coats aren’t long enough)

Some context

When my DD was 13 she got pregnant, she didn't really show at all and she was they thought 28/29 weeks gone. I still wonder how no one knew, not me, not her school, not anyone. DD’s behaviour had changed from the beginning of year 8, she was more snappy and moodier and honestly off the rails. I begged for help from school but nothing happened, she was excluded from school and we didn't have mum and daughter days anymore or anything

I wasn't even angry I was more shocked than anything. She was too far gone for an abortion. Prior to this nothing changed in her life to cause this she just fell into a trap after meeting her bf. He was the year above but only months older so nothing was done as they were both underage having sex and dd made it clear she wasn't coerced

She gave birth about 8 weeks after she found out and he was tiny but healthy and I've raised him since then, I got a guardianship order (i think that’s the name forgive me if not im exhausted).

I don’t want to make this thread long and unreadable so will reply to questions but his behaviour is awful tbh, he vapes and smokes weed often, steals alcohol, selfharms, is rude and disrespectful to me, he spends almost all of his time gaming on his PC and doesnt really go out. His room is disgusting the one time he did go out (the other week) I went in his room and found 2 bottles of his wee and when i confronted him later on and told him how disgusting it was he was just like “oh well you shouldn’t have gone in my room then”.

He got his gcse results this week and he already was in a terrible mood because i had woken him up to go get them. He came back and threw them at me unopened and went back to bed. He’s failed everything. He mostly got 1s and 2s but he also got a U it says he got 3 marks across 3 papers on that one.

He doesnt care, hes applied to a college but i dont know if he wants to do it or if he did it to shut me up. its also a level 2 which is going to be an issue. I tried calling school Friday and Thursday but nothing. Would college help? I feel at a loss.

He's been mostly ignoring me since but he asked me to help him tidy his room which I did but he had loads of clothes and I told him I'm not washing them all today (it was ALOT of clothes he hasn't brought down for weeks so I have left them as he didn't put them in his basket either and I wasn't picking them up off his floor) he shouted at me over it and said it's my job so I said I wasn’t helping him tidy up and he then threw a book at me (he says it wasn’t at me) because he’d taken everything off of his shelf and he was annoyed. He went for a “walk” and while he was out I did help him by finishing tidying putting everything back but it’s probably not organised how he would but I hoovered for him and changed his bedding etc. I found another bottle of his wee and when he got back he didn’t care at all he said he couldn’t bothered to go to the toilet when he was playing his game.

He stinks of weed but he swears blind he’s not smoked anything which he has.

• yes this is a repost and i’ve added extra my previous thread got hidden from active and MNHQ aren’t answering my emails

on my other thread people suggested asking social services for help but he’s 17 in a week i don’t know if they’ll do much. he’s not violent but i feel like im walking on egg shells around him sometimes

My 12yr old son is constantly going in the fridge/food cupboards helping himself to whatever he fancies. Usually sugary stuff and over the top. Often food I've got plans for. He comes down in the night when I'm sleeping. I've repeatedly told him he's not to help himself. He takes no notice. He's a bit overweight. I don't like him not asking...and I'm a control freak when it comes to my kitchen...and also his diet. He's overweight, has ADHD, and seems to have an eating disorder...quite obsessive. It's driving me nuts. And he keeps on doing it...takes absolutely no notice. Any advice, suggestions would be appreciated.

Hi all struggling to get maternity trousers / jeans suitable. I’m 5ft 3 if I size up in general pull on trousers / joggers they’re just massive and a lot of maternity trousers and jeans are v long. Anyone found any really good options? I’m usually size 10-12