My friend pretends to be poor when she is in fact quite wealthy. She pretends in very little, subtle ways. She talks about the all the things she can't afford, to distract from all the things she can. She has a similar level of income to me, but keeps going on and on about my "expensive house", as if its something she can't afford (her house is a similar size, just slightly less done-up). My guess is that it makes her feel like one of the people, but it drives me up the wall. How can I stop being irritated by her and just let her "do her"?

My 3 year old is obsessed with “We’re Going On A Bear Hunt” after having it read to her at preschool, she knows all of the words and we bought it as one of her gifts for her birthday.

We read a book every night at bed, whenever she reaches for this it gives me such bad goosebumps!

I don’t know if it’s the way it’s written, the pictures, I genuinely feel panic when they’re trying to get away from the bear and he’s in the background of the pictures and then at their front door and they’ve forgotten to lock it. I absolutely detest it 🥴 it gives me the right creeps!

This is baring in mind that all I read myself is psychological thrillers and I’ve watched so much true crime I could probably commit the perfect murder 😂 why do I have such a panicky/spooked response to a children’s book fgs!

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

I'm wondering if the length makes it too dressy/formal?

We are taking DC away for a significant amount of time during the 6 weeks holidays and will have nobody to do the bins.

Have asked my parents as they live 25 minutes away but have said it's too far and they also workZ

Siblings/cousins also work and have their own kids to look after and would be unfair as again live 25 minutes away in the same town as parents.

Now, I have never had an argument or falling out with neighbours.

But there is tension due to the varying issues around this estate and I don't speak to my NDN on the right ( I would do her bins at times but she has stopped saying hello/speaking to everyone which suits me fine as she makes me feel uncomfortable).

I do exchange small talk/ hello with the other and get on OK but form feel comfortable asking her.

We genuinely don't know what to do.
Anybody been in a similar situation?

The only solution would be to leave the bins until we get back?

This morning I was walking my 2 very small elderly dogs on lead in the woods near me where it’s nice and cool for them.

they love people but they don’t love when dogs run up to them and get all in their face, valid I wouldn’t like that either. If a dog on or off lead just walks past or gives them a quick sniff they don’t mind. I always tell people not to let their dogs come right up to them.
Theyve never bitten just growled and I just don’t want to risk anything.

there was an old man walking a large greyhound type dog off lead and he’s miles away from it it runs at us very fast so I stick my leg in front of my dogs and the dog doesn’t stop runs straight into my leg. He then excitedly throws his foot on top of my smallest dog he squeals in pain and my other dog starts growling and showing teeth.

so I picked them up and then the big dogs starts jumping up at me to get to my dogs so I kick it away.

Old man then starts screaming at me for “abusing” his friendly dog and a lady walking passed then said to him “I saw her kick the dog”

and now I don’t know if I did too much but I was so overwhelmed and worried it would become a fight and there’s no way my old boys would do well in that situation. To make it worse the lady made a post about it in our local Facebook group (luckily no pictures) and everyone’s saying awful things but they only know one side!

For the record the dog was not hurt didn’t even squeal!

Hi, my 93 year old MIL has been struggling with the heat in her flat. I have been looking for a cheap (around £150-200) portable ac unit my husband could take there and set up this week.
Obviously they are mainly out of stock but I am wondering if anyone has found a “secret stash” perhaps in a shop I wouldn’t normally think of?
Thanks

I am not doing well in this heat (who is?!) and have got it into my head that the comfiest thing to wear around the house would be a long, billowing cotton nightie, the sort of thing my long-deceased grandmothers used to wear. They used to get them in places like BHS or M&S but obviously BHS doesn’t exist and the only ones M&S do these days are too close fitting. I am after something which wouldn’t look amiss in Peter Pan. Please tell me that these still exist somewhere but without being on some sort of specialist retro website where I need to spend £££. If that’s the case, I’ll just stick to my beach cover up

I confessed to a friend that I had a bit of a crush on Postman Pat. He’s not the most conventionally attractive man, but he has a calming way about him, and is clearly a capable problem solver and provider. He’ll also have a good public sector pension, and security is a big plus for me.

I mentioned this to a friend and she said I had “no chance”. She said Pat was a middle-aged single man with a cat, and I should “read between the lines”.

AIBU or is my friend just jealous?

My boyfriend is confusing me. Been together about 1.5 years, both 47, divorced. I have three kids, shared custody, he has two who are 15 and 12 and he sees every other weekend. He's lovely with my kids and easy to be around, bit over chatty but fine. He's generally kind and patient and has gotten over pushing us to live together which was driven by the fact that he hates paying rent but has now put an offer in on buying his own house. There's a money issue though and I've tried to be fair and patient...on our first date he didn't take his card out to pay, so I did and he later said he liked that I didn't expect him to pay (I didn't tbh but told myself why should the man pay). He paid for our second date in a simple Vietnamese place but I could feel his tension shuffling his cards choosing which one. But he was sweet so we carried on. Our first road trip he drove so I offered petrol money, he accepted and from then on it was clear I'd pay half for petrol. Meals were always split. I spoiled him as I like to on his bday in a lovely restaurant and gifts etc. On my bday he got me a pair of earrings on sale on Etsy which were pretty and took me to a restaurant but tensely said 'is this the kind of place you get starters' so I obviously said no need and only got a cheap main. He told me the other part of my gift was he'd take me for a hike and I wouldn't have to pay half for petrol. He cried a bit the next morning after I was honest after he asked me were the gifts not good and I gently said that petrol thing wasn't really normal. A few weeks later when he said he wanted to see me so would go to his fave Chinese on the way and bring it to mine without offering to get me some I calmly told him I'm struggling with this constant splitting of things, he should trust that I'm not after his money and I took him out to celebrate his new job etc. I am a generous person. To make up for the bday he bought me flowers but mentioned how they're good value in Morrissons, where they were from. Fast forward to this bday coming up in two weeks...I was honestly so nervous about him spoiling it so I booked myself a cottage in Wales for a couple of days and it hurt him but I told him to please not take it personally. My ex husband upset me on my bdays and I could do with a couple of days to myself but really, I know boyfriend isn't good at romance and I couldn't face another awkward meal. Anyway, twice over the last few weeks he has mentioned how he budgeted for my present (a hot water bottle) last month so this month he's budgeting for the meal. He earns £50k and only gives his ex wife the amount the child support calculator asks of him which is around £200 ish per month, he says because she gets children's allowance: not my business but I do think kids cost more and his daughter is autistic so needs therapy. Anyway, he then asked whether I want to go to the restaurants i took him to on my bday, I said, please - you choose. He said 'I'll just take you to the one you took me to'. I said to him, my love, please can we just not do bdays, anniversaries, Xmas (he got me a five pack of socks)...let's free ourselves, there's something awkward/tense with money and its making me uncomfortable, feeling like work/burden. He got very upset and said he couldn't feel more hurt or empty and is now not really talking to me! Its been 2 days. I told him he'd never expressed any kind of excitement about my bday and I just don't want this heaviness. There are just so many money orientated odd things...like he bought me pink salt and I said it was lovely and he said '£1'. I know his ex wife said he was controlling about money but he said she expected him to be the bread winner and was financially abusive: obviously I don't know the full story. It all just feels so awkward and I don't like how he's gone cold. Otherwise he's very affectionate and sweet....not selfish in bed but a bit predictable. Anyway....thoughts?

AIBU to be so angry about the hosepipe bans and the situation we find ourselves in?!

If we keep having these heatwaves AND hosepipe bans the future is going to become utterly unbearable.

I read somewhere that it's not even about us running out of water this year! The water companies are just worried about having to supply what we need because it will impact their environmental targets (they want to reduce water use per capita).

If they don't hit these targets it could reduce their bonuses and/or they might be fined.

These bans will have enormous adverse impacts on nature and ecosystems.

If we can't water our gardens, plants and parks wildlife will suffer. Pollinators especially. I think it's appalling.

Are you ready for the hosepipe ban?

Have you taken any measures (buying water butts, filling up pools) to mitigate the impact this will have on your normal routine/enjoyment of your home/garden/life?

Most importantly: are you going to comply?

• Cambridge Water:

• Southern Water:

• South East Water:

Honestly the only way I can cope is to have a fan pointed at me at all times. I can barely find the energy to cook dinner let alone tidy up. Anyone else?

This evening I was having a peaceful time in my garden until I overheard DH being animated with DS. I thought nothing of it other than a routine bed-time argument until DH about 20 minutes later came to me, all furious because apparently I told DS that we would not be visiting his DM this weekend because I had said so. For context, the air conditioning in the car is broken and his DM lives over an hour away, we also would have to take our dog with us and I am not prepared to go ahead with this unless the air - con is fixed. I relayed this to him and he became even more angry saying how DS spends more time with my parents and how his DM and DSD contribute more financially so he’s cutting my parents off! Poor DS told me how he couldn’t sleep because his dad had upset him. Am I BU? Or, do I need to stand my ground here?

My mum is 80, had an accident in the spring, went blind in one eye, recovered some sight (miracle!), and recently had an operation where they repaired the remaining damage. Phew.

While she's recovering she's staying with me, as she's lost sight in that eye again (it will come back gradually). I have said it's for 3 weeks, as she needs 10 eye drops a day (!) for the first 2 and then she has a follow-up the week after. By which point she'll have regained some sight and be down to 1 eye drop a day.

I am at the end of my tether, 10 days in. She's incredibly needy. She keeps crying if her drops are 2 minutes late, or if I go out, or if we do something that she's not invited to. We've had to postpone trips and celebrations.

She often makes out she's worse than she is, so I have no idea whether she's OK or not.

Example: I got her referred to a specialist hospital for a second opinion. All good. BUT at the appointment - to which she arrived after a torturous walk that she wobbled and huffed and puffed all the way to, clinging on to me and hospital crutches - they assessed her and said - your sight is actually pretty good, you can drive, and we've no idea why you're using sticks to walk. She then ditched the sticks, started driving, more or less within hours (!). I don't think it was intentional, I think she was shaken by the accident, but ....

Anyway, she's started dropping hints about not being able to cope if she goes home after 3 weeks. Tbf her sight won't be fully back, she won't be able to drive for another few weeks, she lives alone, she's 80....

But I just feel SO resentful, and manipulated, and knackered. I want my home back. I already had her stay for 5 weeks after the accident, where her care needs were extreme. I have to look after her dog as well as my own (permanently, apparently), I work FT, have 2 kids with disabilities, commute, am battling perimenopause, yadda yadda yadda. She never looked after me when I was a kid AND no one else in my sodding family will step up even one tiny bit. Made worse by the fact that she won't ask them herself!!!

AIBU in taking her home after the follow-up, if all is well??? She has this wonderful knack of making me feel entirely responsible for her. She has another child she could ask, after all...

Me and DH have birthdays a few days apart, I had my 30th and he had his 33rd last week.

I got him a new travel mug, his broke a few weeks ago and he has never left for work without a cup of coffee in hand so he’s been taking an actual mug in the car. I also got him some clothes for our upcoming holiday as he’s not got many shorts.

The night of his birthday he told me he thought is brought him a new game that he wanted, the game is £80.

it did cross my mind a while back, so I feel a bit guilty now.. but I specifically didn’t spend that much because he brought me an £15 throw (one I had looked at to go in our lounge) for my 30th. he asked me for ideas ages ago, he spoke about potentially organising a trip to Florence for a weekend. and I’ve been directly saying “if you want an idea for my birthday I would love a..”

So I just feel I was trying to be equal, but now I feel guilty that he’s disappointed.. AIBU and should I just buy the game? 😫

Just finished this after I was given rave reviews and I was really disappointed! The ending was so trite and I suppose ‘of it’s time’. Am I alone in this!!

is it worth reading any of her other books or will I be equally disappointed?

Would you read a book if a neighbour asked you to? It’s their self published book about a difficult period in their life. I started reading it, now I know more about them than I ever wanted or needed to. I have never regretted reading a book so much and can’t see them in the same light knowing how they view and have treated other people. Do I lie and say I haven’t had time yet? I don’t feel I can tell the truth now and I don’t wish to feature in the next book.
I’ve name changed for this just in case it becomes a bestseller and I’m tracked down to play the nosey neighbour in the movie.

Does anyone struggle with bringing up children in a different area/country and their children have different accents and feel sad they don’t sound like you?

and wanting to move back but knowing you can’t now ever due to children…

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

I know some people make their own drama either on purpose or through poor choices but there also seems to be a whole group of people who just seem to attract it.

For instance, there is a woman on my FB who I dont follow/interact with but who keeps coming up because I read her posts. In the last month she has taken legal action against her son's school. She suddenly stopped talking about it after naking a big deal over seeinv a solicitor so I guess it went nowhere. Reckons a teacher in another school assaulted her daughter with witnesses and on CCTV but there was no action taken against him and is now kicking up a fuss over someone walking into her and getting upset that the police aren't treating it as assault. Something about BTP too. Then the police apparently threatened to arrest her. She also regularly moans that she is being discriminated against different organisations. It must be exhausting being her.

Then a few years ago there was another lady who seemed attract drama. Don't get me wrong she clearly liked playing the victim but she also had a lot of bad luck and had a few awful cards dealt to her eg her daughter died, someone she thought was a friend ripped her off, there was something about a misunderstanding over church funds etc

I see this in real life too. Some people seem to go from one crisis to another. An ex friend had a crazy time for a few years with various housing issues, boyfriend issues and health issues. I suspect it's still ongoing. She isn't hugely resilient so I don't know whether her "dramas" would have been such big deals for other people but still drama.

Are you someone who just can't seem to live calmly? Or does someone who know crash from one disaster to another? Why do you think that is?

I am reviewing my monthly outgoing and my sky bill is out of control!

£114 per month for broadband and a TV entertainment package.

i rang to see if they can reduce it - the best offer they could give me is £101 including a glass TV. I said I don’t want a glass TV and I got an incoherent answer about the TV making it cheaper!

I am considering switching to Virgin - but I think there must be something I am missing - the equivalent bundle seems to be £52 (albeit with a few less TV channels).

anyone made the switch? I can’t believe I pay so much to Sky plus apple tv and Netflix ontop😩

My husband's sister has two kids the exact same age as my kids, but opposite genders.
They live about two and a half hours away so we see them regularly but not that often. Usually during the Easter, Summer and Christmas Holidays, so about 3 times a year. They stay in MIL's holiday caravan in a nearby site.
The kids and adults all get on great.
This year, DH suggested to them that the kids have a sleepover at ours while they are here, which would be fun for the kids and would give them a night to go out. This was enthusiastically accepted by kids and adults. He has said they can either sleep indoors, sharing bedrooms with our kids or camp in the garden in tents if it stays nice.
I'm very happy with this accept the thing is, DH thinks it would be fine for the two 13 year olds, of opposite genders, to share a bedroom or tent. I'm really uncomfortable with this and think it's a bad idea. I've suggested that the two younger ones share and the older two sleep apart, maybe one on the sofa or something.
DH thinks I'm being weird and paranoid and that they're cousins so it's fine, and I'd be spoiling their fun, but I just think it's inappropriate.
DH says he doesn't know how he's supposed to suggest this to his sister and BIL.
AIBU?

Some parents are going to WFH from the athletics stands on sports day? Is this normal?

Surely you either take the day off as annual leave/unpaid leave or you don’t attend Sports Day?

DH was out this evening at a meeting. I let the children stay up late - 15 mins past their bedtime watching a film. Let’s face it, we’re so close to the end of term, they are early secondary school and are very good kids tbh so it didn’t feel like a biggie (to me).

When DH arrived home, I thought it would be funny for them to comically scamper upstairs (in full view), then come down again pretending he had woken them up (with OTT yawning). It was very clearly lighthearted. It was entirely my idea.

DH did not find it funny AT ALL and berated the children. I held my hands up (literally, immediately) and said I was sorry, it was all my idea: I had encouraged them and thought it would make him laugh …but he was still exceptionally pissed off and continued to tell them off. Both children went to bed pretty upset.

Wtaf? Hand on heart, I kept saying it was my fault and he mustn’t blame the kids. He is enraged with all of us. I am so confused.

The ongoing saga of Sussex PR