AIBU to think DH overreacted to a bedtime joke?

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DH was out this evening at a meeting. I let the children stay up late - 15 mins past their bedtime watching a film. Let’s face it, we’re so close to the end of term, they are early secondary school and are very good kids tbh so it didn’t feel like a biggie (to me).

When DH arrived home, I thought it would be funny for them to comically scamper upstairs (in full view), then come down again pretending he had woken them up (with OTT yawning). It was very clearly lighthearted. It was entirely my idea.

DH did not find it funny AT ALL and berated the children. I held my hands up (literally, immediately) and said I was sorry, it was all my idea: I had encouraged them and thought it would make him laugh …but he was still exceptionally pissed off and continued to tell them off. Both children went to bed pretty upset.

Wtaf? Hand on heart, I kept saying it was my fault and he mustn’t blame the kids. He is enraged with all of us. I am so confused.

What an odd bod and no fun either.

I don’t really get the joke, but I definitely can’t see why anyone would be annoyed by it.

Well that’s very nasty and unnecessary behaviour from him. Is he always like that? Can’t take a joke, has a go at his own children, acts like he has a stick up his arse?

I’d have reamed him the second he went after the children. I don’t care what kind of mood he’s in, upsetting them like that is unacceptable. It’s simply not that serious, even if he didn’t think it was funny.

Maybe you had to be there, but an odd thing to think would be funny.

This cannot be the only arsehole behaviour from him?

What was the meeting about?

Sounds a right killjoy. I don’t understand the joke but it definitely isn’t worth throwing a strop over. What’s he like in general?

He sounds like a tit. And a miserable bastard. Poor kids.

Aw. The joke was, them pretending they'd actually gone to bed,but because they made sure they were seen going up, he was already 'in' on it himself. What a miserable swine.

The joke being they were up past their 9pm bedtime. It was just the mild naughtiness of it all, really, and was honestly supposed to be funny. And was clearly directed by me. That's all really. It’s not a joke really. Just larking about I suppose.

Interested that someone has voted I’m being unreasonable. Honestly, please explain why I’m in the wrong. I am totally lost!

Just seems a bit stupid to me, I can’t get why it would be funny? But his reaction does seem strong.

Is a 9pm bedtime usually strictly enforced?

Yeah I do t get why it would be funny either. Maybe he had a shit day , come in and sees kids messing around which didn't help his mood

I agree that he must have been in a bad mood for some reason, unless he's always like this (in which case you probably wouldn't be so shocked by his reaction this time). What was the meeting about? How's his work going? Does he tend to feel guilty about getting home late, missing out on time with the kids, etc?

I'm not really getting the joke either, to be honest, but his reaction is disproportionate to the mild annoyance of a joke you don't find funny.

Honestly I suspect he’s just knackered.
It wasn’t very funny and he’s at the end of his rope. He’s absolutely being an arse about it with his total overreaction but, if this is genuinely out of character (which I assume it is cos if you were generally on egg shells you would never have suggested this), I’d just put it down to exhaustion.

I don’t get why it would be funny, but I also don’t think it’s anything to be annoyed about.

9pm seems very early as a bedtime for secondary school age children as well.

I don't think the joke was all that funny but surely the reason he overreacted in your opinion might be something to do with his meeting? It sounds like he's had a very stressful day and the late meeting tipped him into a grumpy mood?

If he’s usually ok I’d assume crappy day/stessful meeting. Plus it’s hot. He’s probably exhausted. Thinks he’s coming home kids in bed and can just eat and go to bed. Instead the kids are still up and messing around as he sees it (he doesn’t know it’s a joke)
I admit I’m not really seeing the funny part of it. I’m absolutely exhausted tonight after work and I got in at 7.30pm so much earlier than your husband. I suspect I’d have been slow on picking up on joke too.
He should just apologise to them and say he didn’t realise it was a joke.

Yes it soes. One of mine didn't finish cadets until 9.30pm so no way would be in bed at 9. Guides was 9pm finish as well and was church youth club

It sounds like he came in tired and didn't see the joke (I don't either) and just found it annoying. I think it was ill judged, but his reaction was OTT although if it's out of character i'd let it go.

Okay everyone is getting a bit hung up that they don’t get the joke, who cares if you don’t? It’s just something silly. Teehee - look we’ve been staying up late and you’ve woken us up. We’re kids and isn’t this silly? (Even if mum had directed it - that’s the vibe) Not comedy of the century, just mucking about.

guessing he just wasn’t in the mood, maybe had a shit meeting. Or maybe he’s just really into bedtime and you guys argue about it other times so he’s just annoyed about that. Or he’s angry about something. Who knows without all the context.

Even if he’s justified in being grumpy and pissed off, it’s never right to take your frustrations out on your kids so YANBU in that respect.

I can see both sides. I have to walk home after being on the train and in 30+ temp I just want to walk through the door with DC in bed and lie on the floor to cool down. I'd probably snap too if they were still running about and I was baking hot and tired.

But equally after doing so I'd probably calm down and apologise.

Weird responses to this post, OP. I think it was funny - well, silly. I've done similar stuff with my kid and it's funny. It's the equivalent to waiting behind a door for someone to come home then jumping out. It's silly and innocent and something you do with kids to have a laugh.

Anyway, his reaction seems weird. Total overreaction and v harsh. I'd broach it cautiously like...hey did you have a bad day, hun? If my guy had reacted badly to something and I asked that question, he would immediately say something like, "oh yeh I was so stressed, sorry, you and the kids caught me at a bad moment. I shouldn't have reacted like that"

If that's not the general vibe of his response, then he needs to get his act together, imo.

The strict 9pm bedtime seems bizarre for yr 7 and 8. Our guides finishes at 9pm (age 10-13). Shame if they can’t do certain activities or sports?

9pm bedtime for secondary school children is a bit much. Your house sounds really strained and serious.