Feeling sad that my children have different accents and we cannot move back

[Namesnamesnames13]

Does anyone struggle with bringing up children in a different area/country and their children have different accents and feel sad they don’t sound like you?

and wanting to move back but knowing you can’t now ever due to children…

I don't know how I'd feel..My friend moved to Australia and her ds (born there) has an aussie accent personally I think it's cute. Not sure how she feels.

Sorry why can't you ever move back?

My partner doesn’t want to and tbh our relationship may end and we have 2 children, very young children

We always had different accents than my parents . No problem. I think you are projecting your unhappiness with your living situation. Is it very far away from UK and no possibility of you returning. It is always a concern if you emigrate and have kids as naturally the other parent won't allow you to move so far away .

No - it wouldn't bother me.

It sounds like you have other more serious problems though.

DDs have more RP accents than me but still sound like me.

One of my children made the conscious decision to start speaking like the grandparents instead of me (southern vs northern accent).

Don’t see why that should bother anyone .

My parents were from another country so we didn’t have the same accent. Now live in a different area of UK so DD has a different accent to me. Don’t really notice it. Doesn’t bother me. I don’t have the same accent as any of my siblings either.

Is this more about your feelings about your partner, new country and sense you can't move back than the actual accents? Maybe a feeling you've lost your home and now your kids don't know it either and their accent being a reminder. Hugs, I think the partner issues you've touched on are more important to focus on than the accent.

Not something that’s bothered me. I was born in the north to an Irish mum and English dad. I have an RP accent ie posh and southern.

I think you'd find it won't really bother you as you'll juat hear 'them' rather than their accents. Plus you may influence their accent so that it never sounds as strong as their peers.

The idea of your relationship breaking down away from home with children in the mix sounds concerning. Have you moved outside the UK or are we talking more local accents? Not trying ro pry, it's just you want to be careful as being abroad can turn very messy when you separate. In some cases dad and kids can stay in the country but mum isn't allowed (or vice versa), nor can the kids return back with mum without permission from the dad. Hopefully that's not your situation though.

I am Northern but raising a child in the south. Tbh it hasn't even really occurred to me that his accent will be different to mine, it's a non issue to me. My mum did mention it the other day but I'm just not bothered.

I might feel differently if it was a different country and he would have an Australia/ American accent - that would be a bit strange I suppose.

It’s par for the course really isn’t it? My cousin had to relocate to South Korea for a while for his job and when he came back his children sounded American.

Doesn't bother me. My Mum, Dad have different accents to each other and different to where they currently live. I have a different accent to my husband and kids and where we currently live. My brother has a different accent to his wife and child and where they currently live. How someone sounds is pretty irrelevant really I couldn't get upset about it.

I'm English, my husband is South African, our kids grew up Australian, and our adult son now lives in Scotland. When my husband is with his family he goes full Saffa, I revert to "ee by gum" whenever I'm back up north, and our son sounds increasingly Scottish when he's there.

To me, accents aren't something you lose, they're something you collect. They reflect the people and places that have shaped you.
I don't find that sad at all. I think it's glorious.

Im irish , living in ireland with my english husband and my ds has an english accent. Tbh i find it quite funny ! I hope as he gets older some part of the irish accent will emerge

I was born in the NE and have a very recognisable northern accent. All my children were born in the SE region and have RP accents like their Dad.
Can't say I've thought about it very much but when I have (like now for example)
it doesn't bother me at all. I'm definitely not sad they don't sound like me.

I imagine if you were happy where you are the accent wouldn’t bother you. I’m sorry you’re unhappy, OP

I’m from the north and now live in London so my dd’s have a different accent to me but I don’t even notice it. I guess as I live in London I hear all different accents all the time. My daughter’s voices are just their voices and accent doesn’t come into it. When they were little they did say some words/phrases in a northern way (picked up from me) it was quite cute.

I have different accent than my parents, and even my sister, so I don't mind my dc having her dad's accent. What I'm not happy about is that she won't speak my second language at all. Hopefully she'll start later.

My kids speak with British accents and me and husband are irish

I never thought about it much before - people mention it when I bring her home - but in a nice way they say ohh her accent is so cute or it’s funny how London she sounds 🤷‍♀️.

why is it bothering you

maybe it’s just because your so unhappy with where you live :(

im sorry op

hopefully you can improve your life / happiness x

You would consider moving back over an accent? it’s ludicrous.
They are their own people, not clones.
Mine have French now as their primary language,

I agree.

There's nothing you can do about the accent in isolation, so try to focus on either moving or trying to love where you are.

Re the accents - how old are your children? I travelled around because my dad was in the RAF. There were 3 of us kids and sooner or later we all adopted the local accent where we were living at a time. When we moved to the Manchester area we very quickly sounded like locals. I think it was self-protection and wanting to blend in.