Didn’t get the job

[SunshineSprinkles26]

Hi all……
I had a job interview - For a job I really wanted.
I didn’t get the job and I am so so upset.
Ive been working in job field for 26 years and felt it went really well.
To then get a rejection, any tips and advice to help soften how I feel greatly appreciated.
Thankyou x

I'm sorry. Don't think of it as a rejection but that they went with someone else who offered something different (not objectively better, just different). They didn't think "SunshineSprinkles isn't good enough" but "Successful Candidate fills that specific gap/will fit really well with our personalities." At least, that's how it's always been when I've interviewed.

For another company, you would have been their preferred candidate.

I'm not as emotionally healthy as the above poster.

I would eat way too much chocolate, bitch and moan to anyone who would listen to me and create elaborate scenarios in my head where the person they chose was awful and they so regretted not picking me.

Awwww thankyou so much ❤️ I really appreciate your response x

That made me smile - I’ve cried alot! I’ve eaten eaten A lot xx

Im sorry to hear you didn’t get the job. Today I had an email stating I’d not even been offered an interview for a job I would have loved. It wasn’t meant to be and I’ll find something else, probably something even better. Same goes for you x

I know how you must be feeling and I’m so sorry to hear that you didn’t get an interview.Its hard isn’t it.
They say everything happens for a reason I guess I have to keep telling myself this and you too.
im so deeply unhappy in my job now so it makes it even harder.
Good luck in your search xx

When I didn't get a job, especially if I came second to someone, I used to stalk the company on LinkedIn, and keep checking until the successful candidate showed up as the new (job title here), and then look at their history and experience. Then drive myself mad comparing myself to them.

One role where I came second, I looked up the successful candidate on LinkedIn, and she had precisely zero experience in their field and was really young, so God knows what she did have to offer! They specifically asked for 10+ years' experience.

There's no real way of consoling someone when they didn't get the job, simply as we are all built differently, but I feel your pain. I have lost out on so many jobs, I've lost count. You just have to give yourself a little treat and tell yourself that better is out there. All clichés I know, but it does help!

I've heard they were a rubbish company to work for.
And the person who got the role is related to the interviewer.
And they won't pass the probation because they've lied about their quals and they're actually incompetent.
And someone in the office only bring egg sandwiches for lunch or reheats fish pie in the canteen microwave.
I heard they use Citrix.
Theres no WiFi and reception is terrible on the premises.
Rumor has it they will be dissolving the company next week anyway.

*Obviously none of this is factual but if it helps...

I'm in the same position OP. Went for an internal job interview the other day. Spent a week stressing over the interview, planning and prepping etc. Gave it my absolute all in the interview, really left with a good vibe. Found out yesterday I didn't get it. Been crying on and off since.

I know the person who did get it and I really don't think they would have been the best fit for the role so it really surprised me.

I've applied for a few internal roles in recent years and always lost out to other people- I am really good at my job, but it all boils down to a 45 minute interview, and some people are better at selling themselves than me, clearly. It's hard not to take it to heart.

Treat yourself to something nice as a pick me up, have your cry, and then move on with head held high. Something else (better) will come along.

Its so disappointing when you have your heart set on a job and feel like you rocked the interview. I have had it happen to me and I was proper sad.

I am interviewing for 2 new hires at the moment and the split between candidates has been really close in the end. We had a really high quality calibre of applicants and in end went with the candidates who had all the necessary skills but were the best interpersonal and cultural fit. I can only reassure you that we would have been lucky to proceed with either candidate - the were all excellent. A shame we could not take everybody that was on the final short-list.

There are so many variables - you were actually over qualified, they already decided on the person but went through with interviews because companies have to do that ,(friend/relative,/someone already working there) a candidate who is worse than you scored higher points - they could just be good at selling themselves but reality is different etc etc. Companies have to prove why they appointed a person, interview notes/points scored, and keep that info for a period of time.

It's not you ,- it's the process. Hard not to take it personally, but going forward that's what you need to. I've missed out on two jobs, a couple of months later, I've been offered those jobs after the successful candidate left.
Ask for specific feedback - ideally which questions you scored low on. Think back to your replies, and in fairness reject it, or accept and think objectively, yeah, I could have done better.

I always take a copy of my application with me - just to remind myself. And I write notes on it.

I've been on the other side on interview panels, and honestly don't know how the other 3 interviewers came to their decision. Like I was at a different interview.

Been there. More than once.
Give yourself 48 hours to be angry & upset. Rage, rage, rage, then draw a line.
Ask for feedback. Think very honestly about it, and identify what you can build on. If you really can’t see how your experience is wanting, then consider your manner/fit/vibes. Consider interview coaching. Don’t burn any bridges, then smile and wave, and try again. Just don’t sleep with the boss, because 10 years later people will still be gossiping about you.

Hi op. If it helps, I applied for a job at my own workplace and didn't even get an interview.
I'm autistic too and job interviews feel specifically designed to weed out autistics. I have no idea what they want me to say, even though I know deeply I could do the job excellently.
It's just the way life goes. There will be others.

Thankyou so much super helpful I hadn’t even thought of the stalking thing ha cos I do wanna know who got the job.
I emailed for feedback and was told it was a very very close interview, I interviews really well it’s just the other candidate had a little prev experience in the environment I’m be going into even though the job would be the same xx

I’m so very sorry to hear of you negative experience.
Thankyou for taking the time to comment.
i wish you all the luck for your search too xx

Thankyou for taking the time to reply.
i did ask for feedback as i was really driving myself mad trying to work out what I could have done better.
They went for a candidate who had a little experience in the job environment even though the job is the same.
The environment the job is within id never been in before, how is anyone ever to get experience though if you’re never given the chance xx

Ah sorry OP that is rough, I feel for you.

Recruitment is really difficult and they won’t always make the best choice. Try not to take it as a judgement on you personally or your skills, I’m sure you have plenty to offer in the right role for you. It’s all good experience.

What a lovely reply!
Thankyou!
I’m so sorry to hear that you didn’t get the job you went for. I, liked you prepped and prepped stayed up last pushed and pushed myself.
Turns out the person who got the job, it was down to me and them, had a little experience in the environment we’d be working in.
I was told I interviewed very well.
its a real shame as if someone has experience in something that you don’t even though you’re both qualified to do the same job - You’ll prob never get it as you don’t have experience.
I put my everything into it.
we’ll find out job …. As I’ve been told many a time - I didn’t get it for a reason xxx

There is some really good advice on here . We’ve all been there and it hurts.
When you’re ready - ask for a debrief- what could you have done better.( not that you necessarily could have done better- sometimes it’s all very arbitrary)
Frame it in a positive way so you come across as resilient and strong and determined. Say you enjoyed the process/ meeting them/ love the company blah blah … and whilst you were disappointed not to get the role you would be very grateful for their feedback. At least they will have to reflect on their decision making process- and you will look proactive and determined.

Sorry to hear this! I am currently depressed in a bath as I interviewed for a job I really want internally and my interview went horrendous! Was meant to hear back today but nothing. I know it's a no but just want confirmation.

What's meant to be will be- something else will come along! I once interviewed 3 times for the same role/team, finally got it and was promoted within 18 months! Interviews are really unfair and don't display the best of most people.

Ask for feedback and tell them you are keen if anything changes?

Oh @SunshineSprinkles26 I feel for you. I had 4 intense interviews with a company (including me producing and giving a detailed Powerpoint Presentation), received excellent feedback at each stage, only to be ghosted by the company at the last stage (I hadn't even told a bad joke by that point).
I was later offered a far better job with a similar company where I had included bad jokes in my presentation, so it all turned out for the best. I really wish you success and hope that something better comes along.

It’s not you. The job market is absolutely bloody brutal. I speak as a recruiter who is trying to find a job and having no luck x

Young candidate would’ve been the DC of one of the senior managers. Seen it happen so many times. Interviewers would’ve been gritting their teeth but basically told to hire.

Yes I did - They said it all boiled down to one thing she had a little experience in the environment we were going into and that’s it.
so how can anyone every get experience if someone never gives them the chance the other candidate may have experience but not be as good - shame x