Yes it's very silly. And pushes things underground, and fosters resentment.
There's no reason that feminists and trans people can't get on. We don't all have to believe the same things in order treat each other well.
There's also no reason that we can't have women only events, or trans only events, or gay men only events.
We could have a party for only people who like psy trance music. I wouldn't want to go, but I would never try to ban it. I also wouldn't assume that a party aimed at a demographic that I don't belong to is planned as a personal slight to me.
Women's discos have been a staple of the valley for years. The long running one isn't women only anymore, and now we are only allowed to gather with other women if we do it privately and in secret.
That's progress for you.