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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Nasty admission from Dustin Hoffman (not really news, but...)

40 replies

beatrice14 · 14/01/2021 09:44

Longtime lurker. I've wanted to post for a while but I feel like a fraud because I'm only just 15. Hardly Mumsnet's intended demographic!
I really love reading Feminism Chat, you mumsnetters out there have taught me an awful lot. (and it can be hilarious)
This isn't really news, but it shocked me, I really posted this because I can't believe Dustin Hoffman could SAY this in a interview, and apparently nobody thought it was wrong, back then. I mean, it was in Playboy in 2004, way before the Me Too movement took him down, but still..
Playboy asked him how he lost his virginity and this is what he said-
PLAYBOY: Let’s talk about sex. How did you lose your virginity?
HOFFMAN: My parents went to Las Vegas one New Year’s Eve weekend, and my brother Ronny threw a party. I loved that he let me be part of it—I was 15, and he’s seven years older. I cooked steaks. It was one or two in the morning, and I saw a line of guys standing outside a bedroom door. They said, “Do you want to go next?” “What do you mean?” “Barbara’s in there.” I had met Barbara, a beautiful older woman, about 20. She was what in those days we called a nymphomaniac, which is not a word you hear anymore. She was servicing these guys, one after the other. I had never been laid, and I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I went in. It was dark, and she said, “Is that you, Ronny?” I said yes, lying for fear that she’d reject me. I wasn’t old enough to drive a car, so I thought maybe I wasn’t old enough to drive a woman. I remember whistling because I wanted to appear relaxed as I was taking off my clothes. It was wonderful. I came quickly and kept humping and humping. I thought, Is that all there is? I kept waiting for the next fireworks. The humping went on for about 20 minutes until somebody opened the door. It was just like a movie: A shaft of light was thrown from the hallway onto my face, and she screamed because I wasn’t my brother.
PLAYBOY: Were you traumatized? Was she? Have you recovered?
HOFFMAN: She was shocked just because I wasn’t my brother. I jumped off her, stark naked, and left the room. I was kind of shocked and dizzy. I wound up in the living room, and guys were sitting around having beer and talking, and I was naked. This may have been the beginning of my acting career without my knowing it, because they stood up and applauded, and I liked the applause. What was disturbing about it was that I couldn’t get laid again for another two years.

So basically , dear Dustin admits to raping her by deception, and he says this, in an interview, and nobody back then thought it was rape..

Datalounge called it out though, -
but poor Barbara, she's had to live with that all this time.
What a wanker.

I actually can't believe this, found it on Datalounge, and I've checked , it seems to be genuine

OP posts:
allmywhat · 14/01/2021 09:49

What was disturbing about it was that I couldn’t get laid again for another two years.

Oh yeah. That's what's disturbing here. Angry Thanks for posting this, OP.

Justcallmecaptainobvious · 14/01/2021 09:53

Typical that men are applauded for getting sex by any means and women are shamed for enjoying it.

I’d like to say I don’t think this would be published now, but I’m not so sure.

HavelockVetinari · 14/01/2021 10:26

That's really shocking - poor woman. That was certainly rape Sad

HavelockVetinari · 14/01/2021 10:26

And no need to apologise for your age OP, youth is a gift, enjoy it!

donquixotedelamancha · 14/01/2021 10:28

m.youtube.com/watch?v=bZNuh0xxKis

He was famously pulled apart for his behaviour towards women by John Oliver.

babbaloushka · 14/01/2021 10:43

That's disgusting

PopperUppleton · 14/01/2021 10:45

The woman sitting next to him is that clip is sending a very strong message with her body language

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 14/01/2021 11:23

Urgh, what a vile little man. How he can openly say this without fear of reprisal says so much about how little women are valued or respected.

rabbitwoman · 14/01/2021 11:41

I have read this open mouthed.

This is rape. I think its so important for young people like yourself, op, to understand the history of this - believe me, when Hoffman raped this woman it would not have been considered rape. When he first told this story, his friends would have howled with laughter, when he gave this interview it would have raised an eyebrow, maybe..... Now, it's recognised for what it is.

We are trying not to allow women's rights to slide back to a point where the rape of a vulnerable woman is a punchline....

ArabellaScott · 14/01/2021 12:51

Him, too, eh? Disgusting story. Makes me very angry.

SummerBlondey · 14/01/2021 13:23

Wow. What a charmer.

Collidascope · 14/01/2021 13:30

That's fucking nasty. Also, nice comparison of cars and women. Both objects to be "driven". You could argue it's a joke of course, but planted in the middle of an amusing anecdote about raping a young woman, it probably isn't.

beatrice14 · 14/01/2021 14:24

Hi,
Thanks so much reading this and the replies. I guess I was just so horrified by it and wanted to know what MN thought.

I couldn't get through the paywall, but the Telegraph might be onto him-
.www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/nymphomaniacs-method-slapping-meryl-dark-side-dustin-hoffman/

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 14/01/2021 14:27

I have no words. Just when you think it can't actually get any worse Sad

maudspellbody · 14/01/2021 14:42

Jeeeeez. This is horrifying. That clip with John Oliver just shows how normal this is to him and how he just doesn't see anything wrong with groping women. What a disgusting man.

Shame of it is that he thinks it's normal because obviously in his business, it is to be expected and is never challenged.

Urgh. I need a wash.

MoChridhe · 14/01/2021 14:44

This is disgusting.
However as a disclaimer datalounge is not always fact. Loads of stories are made up on there for example claims that some straight celebrities are secretly gay etc, with opinion being turned into facts.

But if Dustin's account is on the record, I am horrified. At 15 he was introduced to rape!

beatrice14 · 14/01/2021 15:08

MoChridhe
Yeah, I was sceptical too, but then on the datalounge thread they gave a link to the interview, (sorry it's not clicky) -
dustinhoffman13.blogspot.com/
I now think it was genuine, the link was to a fansite of Dustin's, but said it was from Playboy in 2009.

OP posts:
Deliriumoftheendless · 14/01/2021 16:09

I don’t even think this is true.

I’m not excusing Hoffman btw, I think this is a fantasy that he thinks is acceptable.

EarthSight · 14/01/2021 16:24

@allmywhat

What was disturbing about it was that I couldn’t get laid again for another two years.

Oh yeah. That's what's disturbing here. Angry Thanks for posting this, OP.

Yes. That's what I thought. Yuck.
ArabellaScott · 14/01/2021 16:39

@Deliriumoftheendless

I don’t even think this is true.

I’m not excusing Hoffman btw, I think this is a fantasy that he thinks is acceptable.

Well, I hope he is bullshitting.
PlanDeRaccordement · 14/01/2021 16:56

Since this happened when he was 15, it would have happened in 1952, and it was not rape by the Nevada law. It wasn’t until the McNair v. State ruling in 1992. Forty years later.

Even today, several states like Hawaii and New York don’t recognise rape by deception/fraud.

I agree it’s still disturbing, and I’d call it rape. But we have to be careful when judging people raised in a time long before these actions were viewed as a type of rape. Dustin Hoffman would have grown up socialised by a society who thought it was not rape.

RoyalCorgi · 14/01/2021 16:59

Dustin Hoffman would have grown up socialised by a society who thought it was not rape.

And in 2009, he still thought it was a funny story.

Wearywithteens · 14/01/2021 17:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Deliriumoftheendless · 14/01/2021 17:06

@RoyalCorgi

Dustin Hoffman would have grown up socialised by a society who thought it was not rape.

And in 2009, he still thought it was a funny story.

Not just funny, it may have inspired his whole acting career! So wonderful was the TOTALLY REAL round of applause he got afterwards.
WootMoggie · 14/01/2021 17:50

There have been allegations in the past:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/12/15/three-women-accuse-dustin-hoffman-sexual-misconduct/

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