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Fifty shades of grey whinge-fest

47 replies

BeyondWitchbitchterf · 07/02/2018 18:59

Argh. It's that time again when everyone is going on about that bloody film/book and the amazing Mr Grey...

So I'm creating a safe space to moan about it, as I think people I know are a bit sick of hearing my opinion Grin
(And hopefully I won't be alone in my dislike of it here)

Seriously - despite making my thoughts clear on the three previous big occasions (books, first film, second film) I have just had an invite to watch the new film with a group, and I feel crappy for needing to turn it down. Social occasions are hard enough (and rare enough!) for me as it is and I hate the umm... lack of thought that people put into their love of this franchise, kind of indirectly making me feel like I am the one in the wrong.

At the risk of starting to go off topic, it makes me feel so lonely 😕

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BeyondWitchbitchterf · 07/02/2018 19:01

Btw, I have been nice in my previous disapproval, I don't get the impression I've been invited out of snarkiness- it's a genuine "we love this, so will beyond" kind of thing, which again makes me feel shit like they don't know me at all.

I'm ill atm though, maybe it's making me overthink it.

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StringandGlitter · 07/02/2018 19:04

Have you read Jenny Trout’s chapter by chapter breakdown of them?

She starts off, right let’s all have a giggle at this terrible writing and ends with fuck this shit, I just can’t do this any more.

Thisusernamethingistricky · 07/02/2018 19:10

You are not alone.

It's unspeakably shit. Im really not a film/book buff, I have enjoyed some pretty terrible stuff in my time! But I just cannot understand how 50 shades became so popular, its just utter diarrhea on every level. I'm not exaggerating when I say that year 3 children I have taught have a wider vocabulary than the author, I was stunned it got published.

Saw the first film out of curiosity. The scene where he assaulted her at the end was just horrific, and the fact that this is billed as a romance franchise is just fucked up. And don't get me started on all the tittering on This Morning and Loose Women about handcuffs and whips.

Can you tell I didn't like it? Grin

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BeyondWitchbitchterf · 07/02/2018 19:15

Yep I've read Jenny trout, that's part of how I know enough about them to disagree Grin I did try to read the first book but gave up after one chapter!

I only watched the first film recently - it was sprung on me at a birthday gathering, so being a special occasion I tried to sit quietly and not make a fuss. The whole thing just makes me massively uncomfortable.

People (in general) always assume seem to assume it's the sex that's the issue, not the massively dodgy behaviour being sold as "romantic"

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BeyondWitchbitchterf · 07/02/2018 19:18

Thing is, the people who invited me will agree with the idea that if he wasn't a squillionnaire the behaviour would be seen as stalkery at best. They all have experience of dodgy men. But then they watch and enjoy it anyway, going on about how sexy he is and how they want their own Mr Grey. Cognitive dissonance?

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DioneTheDiabolist · 07/02/2018 19:20

You did better than me OP. I gave up on the first book a couple of chapters in. I've watched 20 minutes of the film. Twice! Shock I found it boring.

It takes a special sort of talent to make me find sex boring.

miri1985 · 07/02/2018 20:36

Leaving aside the terrible material these films are based on, I just can't watch anything with Jamie Dornan since reading that he prepared for his role in the fall by literally following women IRL and how "exciting" he found it.

ForagingForFaerieGold · 07/02/2018 21:44

I don't think I know anyone who likes that stuff. Maybe they just wouldn't tell me. My intolerance for poor writing is quite well known among my friends and family.
They all heard me go on and on and onabout Twilight. Grin

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/02/2018 21:53

My intolerance for poor writing is quite well known among my friends and family.

Same here - I got through about five ages of "50 shades" - so really I have no idea (except from 2nd hand reports) what happens - but the writing was so bad it made my teeth curl!

I had a similar reaction to the "Da Vinci Code". I've read (and enjoyed) some ridiculous storylines - but I physically can't read shite writing.

I can forgive crap.

I can't forgive badly-written crap . . .

QuentinSummers · 07/02/2018 22:23

Ugh I know.
I feel the same about Twilight.
Why is creepy stalker behaviour romanticized in films? rhetorical question

MulhuddartDrive · 07/02/2018 22:38

I read the first book, I think. I got so enraged by the continually fired up laptop I think that part of my brain necrotized to save the rest I couldn't bear to watch any of the films. Must read the Jenny Trout review above, but for a very funny and very angry take on it, Red Lemonade is brilliant.

Miri, that's grim. I thought he seemed nice. Oh well.

boatyardblues · 07/02/2018 23:04

I’m not proud, but I read all 3 x 50 Shades books during a madly stressful project at work. The fact they were utterly shit was part of the appeal. The sex was as dull as hell, but I really loved the idea of having staff and all your meals & freshly ironed clothing just appearing without having to ask. The magic housework fairies were almost worth putting up with the boring, samey sex and the stalker twat boyfriend. My kids are out of nappies now, so my pendulum has swung firmly anti-Grey.

During my next few big work projects, I powered through: all the Twilight books (boring), all the Hunger Games books (better), Divergent Series (amazing they squeezed half decent films out of such wafer thin pap), Mallory Blackman’s Noughts & Crosses series (not at all bad) & so on. I have a big pile of those mazerunner books by the bed, but I changed job so I haven’t got round to them yet.

There’s something relaxing about an undemanding book series to retreat into when work and family life is melting your brain.

boatyardblues · 07/02/2018 23:10

Thanks for the Red Lemonade link, Mulhuddart. It’s spot on.

RadicalFern · 07/02/2018 23:22

boatyard I love that the longings stirred in you by 50 shades were for Grey's housekeeper!

I've read some of the first one, and thought Grey was an utter creep. I would like to be a similar level of fabulously rich though...

NewYearNiki · 07/02/2018 23:25

The second film was diabolical.

I have an odeon limitless card so will see number 3 just to laugh at it as it wont cost me anything.

boatyardblues · 07/02/2018 23:29

boatyard I love that the longings stirred in you by 50 shades were for Grey's housekeeper!

How could that not be the fantasy for any working mother of small children? It’s bloody hard work when you’re in the trenches. I liked the helicopter too - greatly reduced commute. If you could get Grey on something to kill his libido, he’d probably be tolerable company. He seemed to work a lot, so out from under your feet most of the time, and he could play the piano and knew his first editions. Sure, with separate bedrooms and my own money, I could have made it work. Grin

coldcanary · 07/02/2018 23:30

I managed 2 chapters of the first book and got bored with the female character. Liked her even less after trying the film. She’s just so limp!
DH actually decided to watch the first film after being told it was brilliant by a (male) colleague. He fell asleep Grin
We watched Jamie Dornan on graham norton the other week and DH asked why someone so funny and intelligent got involved in ‘that utter shite’.
On this one occasion he speaks for me...

boatyardblues · 07/02/2018 23:33

I didn’t know Dornan followed women to get into his part for The Fall. You do have to wonder at the wisdom of the 50 shades casting team after he was so creepy in The Fall.

Killerqueen2244 · 07/02/2018 23:49

I read the book reviews on Amazon, that was enough!!! Just cliched crap, I might have tolerated it if the female character had something about her/a quality to admire but no, just a silly woman who’d do anything for a rich guy Hmm

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 08/02/2018 02:47

I will be going to see this next week Blush Saw the other 2 aswell (though I did fall asleep in the second one)

I didn't find the books that bad either tbh. Certainly not as bad as everyone else seems to find them. I had to force myself through a bit of the first one mind as I kept losing interest, I had no desire to read about sex and stuff but it seemed everyone was taling about it so I felt I had to just so I knew what they were all on about. After maybe a quarter of the book I did find it better. 2nd and 3rd books are much better than the first though, more story and less sex.

Mind I am now reading the game of thrones books after watching the series..and I think many ma ny books would seem very very crap compare to these Grin

SteX · 08/02/2018 02:53

As a man, I hate everything to do with this series. Stigmatising and trivialising. 50 shades....50 shades of utter shite.

mamaryllis · 08/02/2018 03:01

Not read it. Not seen it.
I did use an excerpt when teaching a creative writing class discussing really terrible writing and what not to do, though....

AngryAttackKittens · 08/02/2018 03:24

It takes a special sort of talent to make me find sex boring.

Yep. Doesn't she say "gosh" or "gee" during an orgasm at one point? It's about as sexy as having someone clean out your earwax even before you get to the stalking, the weird controlling behavior, the terrible writing, the fact that the author doesn't seem to think she needs a plot...

AngryAttackKittens · 08/02/2018 03:26

Also! They're in America but her dad tries to solve every problem with cups of tea.

Apparently the author has never met an American.

AngryAttackKittens · 08/02/2018 03:27

Or, you know, the publisher was too cheap to pay for all the "we're very English considering that this is meant to be Seattle, have I mentioned that we're English?" bits to be localized.