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Original poster

Nurse called my cervix a 'bit of a pig's ear'

66 replies

susannahpop · 05/09/2023 00:07

Been for a smear test today. Before she cracked on I said sometimes it's tricky to locate as cervix is apparently tilted. Once she had swung the speculum round a few times she said 'ooh yes, bit of a pig's ear this one'. That was a bit rude wasn't it?

OP posts:
Cvn · 06/09/2023 22:32

@LauderSyme I also smiled at 'vagina walks'; I think she meant 'vaginal walls'!

miniegg3 · 06/09/2023 22:32

Pinkpots · 05/09/2023 00:25

Does it matter though, why are you bothered , it’s not like you are going to enter it into a beauty contest

🤣🤣

Clafoutie · 06/09/2023 22:37

AintnocasseopoeiainWasingtonHeights · 05/09/2023 09:41

Think I’d have been a bit affronted too. After all the point, when you say you’re ‘making a pigs ear’ is that the thing looks unattractive once you’ve finished the job you’re currently botching. So it’s not flattering either way!

OP I think the nurses/GPs/midwives often don’t consider how vulnerable and abnormal a smear test can feel when for us it’s a rare event. I’ve had them talk to my cervix instead of to me in the past: ‘come here you little bastard!’ That was quite a shock at the time!

This made me laugh, though I’m not sure I should have 😳I certainly understand how this might have been quite jarring at the time!

ArseMenagerie · 06/09/2023 22:39

SM4713 · 05/09/2023 00:52

She meant that SHE was cocking it up!

I too have a retroverted uterus (sometimes referred to as tilted) but its just a less common NORMAL position. Same as someone with say blue eyes might be less common, its still normal!

My practice nurse was also a midwife and said that I should ask for a long speculum for future smears. I used to sit on my fists, raise myself on pillows etc but the longer speculum works! Ask for that next time.

I have this too and the first time they went to get a longer speculum the nurse said, hold on a minute I’m just going to get a bigger one of these…! I was like: 😵

UndercoverCop · 06/09/2023 22:39

I went for a smear once pre DS and the nurse said ooh I can tell you've not had kids , I'll get a different speculum and huffed!
I think maybe if you're looking at them all day you become desensitised so the comments seem matter of fact rather than insensitive

powershowerforanhour · 06/09/2023 22:41

Next time, say in as haughty a tone as you can muster with a speculum up your nethers, "Really? At my last smear it was likened to a silk purse ACTUALLY".

MsJinks · 06/09/2023 22:42

Whilst enduring the medieval torture of a womb biopsy I got gutted at and told ‘it’s a bit dark up here’ - guess I never learned how to illuminate my womb - they probably just don’t think - I say wrong stuff a lot, just fortunate that I don’t work with the public directly I think - or they are!

CandidClarisse · 06/09/2023 22:45

EggTheParrot · 05/09/2023 00:37

I think she meant she was making a bit of a pigs ear of it.

I had one recently and made a sale on Etsy as the speculum went inside me, my phone made a Kerching noise like a till opening... honest to God I wanted to die because i laughed and the speculum flew out of my vagina 😂🤣

That's fantastic 😂😂😂😂😂

Seashellies · 06/09/2023 22:48

I'm sure she meant that she'd made a pigs ear of taking the swab, but you should be careful when working in healthcare as things can be misconstrued! Also agree regarding asking for a longer swab if your cervix is tilted, all nurses should offer this when you say you have one! So much easier and much more likely to get it quickly and with less discomfort.

DivingForLove · 06/09/2023 22:50

Why are we so easily offended nowadays?!? Wouldn’t give it a second thought 🤷‍♀️

Unwisebutnotillegal · 06/09/2023 22:57

I once got told my bum hole looks like a cauliflower by a medical professional. I think of it every time I eat cauliflower cheese.

Bey · 06/09/2023 23:02

I have a tilted womb too and dread my smears, after a particularly stressful one where the nurse was trying for ages then got a big lamp then got another nurse in.

After that I got really anxious before them but I went for one a few weeks ago and before I had it explained what had happened the last time, the nurse was lovely, she told me to make my hands into fists and put them on the bench below my bottom so it pushed my bottom up a bit if that makes sense and she managed it really easy so I'd suggest doing that next time.

I agree with previous posters that's just a turn of phrase she definitely wasn't referring to your cervix!

"a bit of a pigs ear this one (this smear test) not this cervix"

Nowanextraone · 06/09/2023 23:02

Don't be offended, I think she meant she was making a pig's ear out of it

During my smear the nurse said 'you have a long muscular vagina'. Never know if that is a compliment or not EnvyGrin

Switcher · 06/09/2023 23:05

When I walked in for mine she said oh don't worry I'll use the smallest size speculum. I wasn't quite sure how to interpret the face she made when she said "hmm yes maybe not I can't find it, I'll get the big one" 😳

SD1978 · 06/09/2023 23:09

I'd see that as it's a bit difficult- as making a pigs ear if something means you haven't done it well- I couldn't take offence at that.

Hibiscrubbed · 06/09/2023 23:15

She meant the job of finding your cervix was a bit of a pig’s ear, as in it was tricky to find.

She wasn’t slating the physical appearance of your cervix.

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