Nurse called my cervix a 'bit of a pig's ear'

[susannahpop]

Been for a smear test today. Before she cracked on I said sometimes it's tricky to locate as cervix is apparently tilted. Once she had swung the speculum round a few times she said 'ooh yes, bit of a pig's ear this one'. That was a bit rude wasn't it?

Of course she meant the whole process, not the appearance of your cervix, op 😬
This is being easily offended on quite an epic scale.

Think I’d have been a bit affronted too. After all the point, when you say you’re ‘making a pigs ear’ is that the thing looks unattractive once you’ve finished the job you’re currently botching. So it’s not flattering either way!

OP I think the nurses/GPs/midwives often don’t consider how vulnerable and abnormal a smear test can feel when for us it’s a rare event. I’ve had them talk to my cervix instead of to me in the past: ‘come here you little bastard!’ That was quite a shock at the time!

When flat on their back with their legs splayed and a stranger rummaging elbow deep in their nethers? No better time to be a bit sensitive, I’d say.

I know some peoples cervix are awful and really difficult to find which makes the tests more uncomfortable for them.

I remember on my first smear test she said I had a really lovely cervix and it was easy to find.

I was quite taken back by it but I think it’s just because they’re so used to talking about these things and I’ve never had any talk about my cervix before lol.

I’m glad your practice nurse didn’t do my cervical smears if yours goes in ‘elbow deep’ 😳😵‍💫
I don’t imagine for one minute she’s criticising your cervix 🙄

I would assume that she meant that she was making a pig's ear of it.

However, who cares if an internal body part no one except HCP see is conventionally attractive or not? If a nurse called my cervix a pig's ear I'd find it quite funny

Thanks all. I found it quite funny too and I wasn't in the least bit offended or concerned about whether my cervix is attractive thanks for the long speculum tip much appreciated!

I agree with this. However, I work in healthcare and it's a hard rule for me never to make personal judgements about people/their body parts. Totally reasonable to explain "your cervix is in this position and that can make smear tests more difficult, I will make a note of this on your records for next time", not ok to say words like "pig's ear" - very easy to misinterpret what was said and how it was meant.

I think with all the swinging of the speculum she was referencing the fact she’s ‘making a pigs ear of the smear test’.

It’s a phrase I couldn’t get worked up by it

Mine’s been described as “tough as old boots”. It’s just chat isn’t it?

It is a phrase describing her work rather than your cervix.

She def meant she was making a pigs ear of the smear test.

My friend was told by an obstetrician that hers looked like a cauliflower.

I was once told my cervix was 'elusive' which made me laugh as I had visions of it hiding or wearing a disguise 🥸

@ISpyNoPlumPie I'm really pleased to see this response

I would have snorted so hard the speculum popped out

My GP told me my post menopausal vagina walks were floppy & to remember to request the large speculum next time. I had visions of her going in with a miner's helmet & lamp 😂

The moments passed, forget it and enjoy the sunshine.

I have a very shallow cervix and I remember one smear the nurse found it and went "oh hello, gosh you're an easy one aren't you" then looked at me with absolute horror in her eyes when she realised what she'd said, then stammered through explaining she wasn't calling me easy.

Sometimes we just say dumb shit without really thinking about it. I laughed it off, I'm glad I have an easy cervix. I would try not to take this personally, it was probably not the most professional thing but rather just slipped through the filter.

At my first post natal vaginal inspection (in the days that we had them) my GP said oh yes everything looks lovely up there I didn't know whether I should feel relieved, proud or disturbed.

However some years later when I had polyps n stuff the consultant was poking around and said mind its all a bit raggy in here. Me and my raggy fanny left the building pretty sharpish.

Got a genuine lol from this 😂

@Cookerhood Is 'vagina walks' a thing or a typo?!

I too am a long speculum requestee after an uncomfortable experience when the nurse was having trouble reaching my cervix. She left me - facing the door, legs splayed, the cold metal too-short thing still inside me - while she went to get the GP to help.

I think she was referring to the job she was making of it.

I'm with @ISpyNoPlumPie . I work in women's health and I think it was an inappropriate comment. Many women feel really vulnerable during smear tests, VEs etc, and part of the job is filtering what you say, and what facial expressions you make. We were taught that even comments like "well done" should be avoided as it can trigger memories amongst abuse survivors of being 'praised' by their abusers for 'behaving well'.
Neutral, factual comments are OK, as are explanations about what you're doing and why something might be feeling a certain way, taking longer than expected etc. But 'jokes' can really backfire, even if the intention was to lighten the mood.