How to handle vegetarian concerns about asado catering at a family wedding

[OneNewEagle]

Just had our invite for a family wedding. I’m really worried about the food which I wasn’t expecting. We are vegan and vegetarian. The food is cooked outside asado. I’d never heard of the term being vegetarian so had to google it unfortunately for me.

Has anyone been to a wedding with this? As we’ve been vegetarian our whole lives I’m not sure we can cope with it.

It is a wedding we need to really attend due to family fallouts and so on. also worried about some of the elderly family members for the same reasons as they are not meat eaters. I never expected to get an invite to anywhere with food like this as everyone close knows how we were brought up, I can think of at least twenty of us where this is a problem. I can’t think what my DN is thinking :(

Also not sure I can decline due to how the food is being cooked.

the parents , my sibling, don’t speak to me. It’s a complete wonder in itself that I have an invite. I don’t want to put the cat among the pigeons so to speak as it’s possible my sibling and partner don’t know we’ve been invited.

we live a long way away and I was thrilled to even get an unexpected invite. I was hoping to just sit discreetly at the back of the church to see the ceremony if that makes sense.

I’ll try to find out more.

Message your DN now and tell her that your excited for the wedding and you/your family have the following dietary requirements:

You're veggie
Ethel is vegan
Sally is allergic to mango
Edwin only eats chips etc

She'll make a note on the wedding spreadsheet and she'll tell the caterers. It's not that big deal.

Thanks for all the help. Much appreciated.

No, I understand that. If you are not used to the smell, don’t associate it with delicious food, and actively find the fact that animals are killed for meat upsetting them being confronted with big smelly piles of meat would be upsetting, I don’t think that’s dramatic.

Thank you. I am not a difficult person. ( even though I sound like I am).

Ultimately what the worse that can happen? They don't provide vegetarian food and you can just order something to come round on Deliveroo. I wouldn't stress too much.

@OneNewEagle

If you actually know which company is doing the catering for the wedding, could you not e-mail them and ask which vegetarian dishes they will be providing, OP?

It's all very well PP saying there will be a veggie option, but it sounds as if there will be a rather higher proportion of veggies than usual. If they're not asking everyone to send dietary requirements there may well not be enough of the veggie option - especially as all the omnis will eat it as well.

I'd ring your DN, say you're delighted to be invited, and by the way would she like you to email dietary requirements now or will she be circulating a form later? Then take snacks as a backup, whatever she says.

As for sight and smell, you'll just need to find an upwind spot and face away. Maybe wear more perfume than usual.

Thank you. I’ll do an update when I know more if anyone else ends up in the same situation. I’ve just tried to ask one of my parents discreetly so as not to stress them out found out nothing lol

There'll be corn on the cobbs, roasted peppers and sides, you aren't going to starve for 1 afternoon. I'm not sure what else you could eat on a bbq anyway so surely you cope at a normal bbq with veg and sides?

If they are serving a ton of meat like that I don’t go.

we usually have vegan meals when we are invited to meals, where everyone eats the same. Or a lovely veggie spread with cheese and biscuits for Afters.

might sound unusual to others but this is how we live so just seems completely normal.

If this is being done by a reputable caterer, not just mates or something, there will be no problem. They will have a dedicated vegan grilling area and be very practiced in catering for a vegan diet. Honestly, my husband caters for a large group of people at a camping event we go to and he manages this on a BBQ in a field. Just has the top ring of the grills as vegan only grilling (non meat usually cooks at a lower temperature than mean anyway) and two trays of utensils, one just for the vegan food.

And its lovely if when you go to meals the hosts want to serve vegetarian/vegan so everyone eats the same

However this is DN wedding...bit different from a dinner party, and they obviously believe that for them and many guests, the bbq thing will be a big hit and enjoyable. Bit like an indulgent treat for them, which I'm sure many want at their own wedding (indulgent treat, not meat bbq)

If there is so many vegetarians/vegans in the family, I imagine they have weighed up ensuring there is food options for all available, whilst still opting for their desired catering company.