How to handle vegetarian concerns about asado catering at a family wedding

[OneNewEagle]

Just had our invite for a family wedding. I’m really worried about the food which I wasn’t expecting. We are vegan and vegetarian. The food is cooked outside asado. I’d never heard of the term being vegetarian so had to google it unfortunately for me.

Has anyone been to a wedding with this? As we’ve been vegetarian our whole lives I’m not sure we can cope with it.

It is a wedding we need to really attend due to family fallouts and so on. also worried about some of the elderly family members for the same reasons as they are not meat eaters. I never expected to get an invite to anywhere with food like this as everyone close knows how we were brought up, I can think of at least twenty of us where this is a problem. I can’t think what my DN is thinking :(

Also not sure I can decline due to how the food is being cooked.

so you and a lot of your family have been raised vegan/vegetarian and you can't fathom how to cope? 🤔

Ask the B&G what the veggie options will be, but I would consider that pretty bad hosting when there is more than one or two vegetarians.

I wouldn’t be taking snacks if I couldn’t eat with the main group for whatever reason. I’d either leave to get something decent to eat or get it delivered, and that lack of consideration would
be reflected in how much I gave as a wedding gift.

I think you’re overthinking it just because they’re saying asado. It’s just a barbecue. I’d be shocked if they didn’t have veggie options especially in the form of salads and sides, and whilst vegan is less common, unless the wedding is tiny I bet they’ll be a few other vegetarians. Just put your dietary requirements on your RSVP, maybe ask the B&G next time you see them to confirm what the veggie option is, and if you’re still worried eat a big breakfast and chuck a few sneaky snacks in your bag.

What are you specifically worried about? Is it that the food is not going to be vegetarian/ vegan or is it you don’t want to see meat cooked?

if it is the standard of the food caterers take dietary requirements really seriously and will provide alternatives.

if it is how it is being cooked it is no different to a bbq or grilling a steak on the hob

I’ve been vegan about 12 years I take my own food everywhere unless I know for a fact they have decent food. Especially if it is a barbecue. Vegan burgers don’t cook so well on barbecues. Even if they say they have options I wouldn’t trust them, better to have a little picnic with you. If the options they have there are edible then treat it as a bonus rather than an expectation.

Its ONE day - please dont be that person.

There will be a vegetarian option.

Go, smile and bring sandwiches and a protein bar in your bag if you are tgat concerned.

....Call your niece:
You: 'Hey hi, thank you so much for the invite, we're so excited! Just wanted to check if there will be veggie and vegan options for the food on the day?'
Neice: 'Great! Yes, there will be salads and stuff alongside the meat options'
You: 'Great! Cant wait, see you soon!'

..... Why you have not just called her and checked this? Surely you are used to having to clarify if there are veggie/vegan options somewhere you are going if you have eaten this way your whole life, is there a backstory here?

I've been veggie for 45 years and this appears much easier to cope with than the fad for spit roasting a pig or whatever the proper terminology is. Even that was coped with by looking away from the scorched and spinning cadaver. It's just plates of BBQed meat that you don't have to eat, isn't it? They don't butcher it at the tables or something?

It seems that op is also, as mentioned in the op, concerned for elderly family members who are also non meat eaters and cannot be expected to sit at a wedding all day without an option. I’m sure there most likely will be something as it’s mainstream to have guests with dietary requirements but op is not being “that person” to doublecheck.

Definitely nothing at all wrong with checking. The part people are calling out is the hand wringing and ‘don’t know what possessed them’ to have meat part. Re-read the first post. The hand wringing should only be IF after checking it turns out there is no veg options but they have run in early on this on the basis meat is the main option (which is …. standard).

It’s in the uk. We are all English. No idea at all why.

The invite had like a dress code sort of type of section in it and it mentioned this so I had to Google it to see what it meant. We’ve not been given a tick list of foods or asked about allergies. I’m really confused. (I think it means I will have to take a Tupperware lunch lol but we are travelling hundreds of miles to attend so unless we stay in self catering we cant even do that).

We have allergies like this too in the family as well.

I’m not so sure. We are already travelling 400 plus miles as the venue is further from us than we anticipated and not a place we know.

of course bride and groom can have the day they want but probably means a lot of the family guests can’t go.

It’s dead animals hung up. That’s putting it mildly from my perspective.

@OneNewEagle

Could you ask the bride which company is doing the catering and then e-mail them to ask which vegetarian dishes they offer?

I’ve done that before many times so use pd to not being fed much. But it’s the dead animals being hung up that’s the issue for me this time.

I’d speak to the bride/groom or whoever is organising the catering before the wedding. Asado doesn’t necessarily mean there can’t be a proper vegetarian/vegan option. If there are around 20 guests with dietary requirements, they really should be able to arrange something suitable rather than expecting everyone to eat meat.

yeah We used to live in a village with a butchers. I couldn’t walk down the road because of the smell. I’m not trying to sound dramatic, we are all different.

The hanging up of dead animals is unlikely to be a feature of the reception, though, OP.

Some of the elderly family have to eat regularly and they will also have a 150 mile journey both ways. In their 80s. So I’m a bit worried about them all. They’d be happy with a cup of tea, sandwich and slice of cake.

it’s a lot further for us in a different direction and I have health problems myself.

im not going to be that difficult guest I’d never in a million years do that. I just wanted to see my DN get married have a chat with all my older family members. Have a lovely day. I’m going to discreetly try to find out what people know in the next couple of months, not until the spring so I’ve got time with my rsvp. It’s possible some of the elderly family won’t be able to attend due to the distance so at least I don’t have to worry about them.

thabks for all the help so far everyone. Sorry I sound silly but I didn’t even know what one was. As for the mention of hog roasts and the like I’ve never attended anything with that. I’m used to church then a hall for a buffet.

They will have veggie options, and certainly bread and salad. They are also unlikely to have entire dead animals hung up in view of guests.

Maybe a family member who is not feuding with anyone can tactfully enquire about vegan / veggie catering.

Just position yourself looking the other way and stay away from the cooking area.

Of course you can travel 400 miles with a packed lunch.

They'll have a vegetarian option. Family friends had all their food cooked on an open fire outside, veggie option all day/evening was basically mushrooms. Tasty ones though!

I know. But I googled it all stupidly and used AI. The AI might be wrong and it got up a floorplan and there’s only some seats facing one way where you don’t see it. I’m hopefully worrying over nothing.

l will try to find out more discreetly.

WHY haven't you contacted your niece and/or the venue to ask what vegan/veggie options will be available??? 🤷‍♀️

They have photos of it on the website. I googled the company.

im hoping im just missing some info and there’s a lovely veggie buffet as well.