Should we ask strangers to witness our marriage?

[Weddin]

If you had strangers as witnesses did you enjoy it or wish you’d done it differently?

We are marrying secretly before heading off to Europe to surprise the people we’re going on holiday with with our very casual but meaningful celebration.

The legalities will be done here beforehand in a very basic legal ceremony at the local register office.

We obviously need 2 witnesses. Should we ask people on the street? People on here?! Have you done this? Do you regret any of it?

Lots to consider and we have a month to decide. The current plan is to keep it totally secret but just wondering if having strangers witness will feel…weird 🤷🏽‍♀️

You don’t need to be sure of any of it. The OP is just asking about witnesses, not judgement about how they want to go about their wedding.

I wouldn’t rely on people on the street. It’s all timed quite tightly.

We used our photographer and her friend. Failing that, a shout out on here may work

Also! I'm NW!

i had a friend do this kind of “surprise wedding” and it was excruciating to be part of. Get married if you want, but don’t drag other people into your surprise pantomime.

Get some therapy as to why you need this kind of performative spectacle to get a buzz.

Haha, you’d never be so rude in real life.

This is exactly the opposite of “performative” since nobody will know about it apart from my sibling and our kids. No wedding dress, no photographer, no venue, no elaborate ceremony.

Just a celebrant to say a few short words, outdoors in a place that means a lot to us, about love, family and to officially mark the fact that we are married. For the kids as much as for anything else, after a year that has been shockingly shit for us health wise.

I wonder if you should go and get some therapy to figure out why you take pleasure in posting vile insults to strangers.

Maybe engage your brain and have a little think about why it might be important for a couple to make sure they marry quickly in the least stressful and “performative” way possible.

Thank you to everyone who wasn’t a horrible arsehole 😘 I think we’re going to ask on here!

Yes. Both under 16.

On holiday in Cyprus 25 ish years ago, we were asked by a young Irish couple staying in the same hotel if we would be witnesses for them. One was Catholic and one was Protestant and both sets of parents had refused to attend. Not only was it a pleasure to be able to do something nice for them, but we organised a cake to be provided by the hotel and for guests of the hotel to throw rice and raise a glass to them when we returned from the town hall. We also paid for the photographs and made sure to get them developed before they left to return home. Yes, it was totally over the top and yes, they were complete strangers. But they are still happily married and in touch regularly. Their parents are still not speaking to either of them. It's easy to be nice.

I responded to a witness request on here a couple of years ago. The other person who agreed stopped responding to messages so my daughter’s friend was commandeered to be the second witness!
It was really lovely and surprisingly emotional. Such a privilege. Go for it and have a lovely day and holiday.

Oh lord MN never ceases to me amaze me about how what should be a simply lovely thread gets turned into throwing insults. I am in the NW and would to do this if I was free! I think it’s a really special thing to do as when you think back to the day you will remember the kindness of strangers, not weird at all.

It always staggers me how lovely threads are jumped on by people being unpleasant for no reason - it says WAY more about them as a person and probably best ignored.

Anyway, I hope you have a magical wedding day and find some lovely people to be your witnesses, and then a fabulous celebratory reveal.

There is no legal lower age limit on witnesses in the UK if the registrar considers your children competent. So if they’re teens. -ask!

I’ve asked. They said that the youngest is too young and that ideally our witnesses should be over 16 to be able to demonstrate true understanding of what the commitment means.

Definitely start a thread asking for witnesses, I've seen loads on here. I hope you have a lovely day and holiday.

I’m NW and happy to be a witness if you are close enough!

@WeddinI witnessed a wedding of somebody asking on here at the start of the year (along with another mn’er), because it was local to me and I had the time to do it. The couple were really happy and enjoyed doing it that way ☺️

That’s annoying as they don’t need to understand the commitment, just be able to competently state a wedding took place. Registrars are projecting their own views there, rather than doing their jobs. Maybe push back? Good luck either way!

I’m not quite North West but if available I don’t mind travelling as I’m not far. Plus as we are supposed to be seeing DH Auntie in the NW sometime, she is retired so very flexible, if the dates worked out I would love to do it. He wouldn’t mind either I’m sure.