Tell me about your wedding…

[MamaTutu2]

Shamelessly nosy thread! We are newly engaged and trying to price up different wedding options. Would need to be school holidays but could be a weekday. Happy to do home or abroad so would love to hear all about your weddings, what did you do, what would you do again, how much did it cost?

No one on here likes abroad weddings, you must know that

I’ve had two, both lovely.

Mine was a large Irish church wedding. Cathedral veil and band / dj. 4 course meal and all the extras. It was 55 a head at the time.

What I would do differently is do a family only wedding and something quirky. Dh was keen to have the traditional thing and I was so happy to get married I was happy to do the typical thing that everyone expects.

What I would do now is have a small evening wedding by candlelight and maybe a guitar playing during the meal afterwards.

@AnneLovesGilbert luckily our family do a big abroad holiday every year so don’t mind them! I’ve had a fair few cousins get married abroad, I guess friends attending would be the thing most limited abroad but with huge families and places 150ish a head I’m struggling to see how we could afford it here.

@Nuggetnugget a candlelight wedding sounds amazing 😍 My OH is from a big Irish family who have large weddings with a free bar costing thousands so not sure how a smaller one would go down there either 🙈 We’ve been together a long time so I just want to get married without spending a fortune

It has to be on a Saturday. Don't have a lavish venue on a Tuesday the vibe will be crap as guests will have to book that day off and maybe the following if they drink but chances are they won't and people who aren't relaxed and drinking won't want to dance and stay up late. Also they might have to think about childcare if children aren't invited or taking kids out of school if they are. Also try not to go too far from home for similar reasons. Honestly if it's a choice between a posh venue on a weekday or a Sunday a less posh one on a Saturday will be way more fun. The last wedding I went to was on a Sunday at a posh country house and about 5.% of the guests were drinking and quite drunk the rest were sober and trying to leave as early as it was polite to.

We're planning our 2023 wedding. UK venue, although a lot of our guests 60%+ live abroad so will be travelling. We've hired a castle hotel for 3 days / 2 nights for a long weekend during the school summer holidays. Food included, limited drinks included. Exclusive use. It is actually quite good value per person (as it also includes a band for the evening, master of ceremonies, fresh flower table centrepieces etc) but still obviously not cheap. We're paying most of it ourselves.

That said some of the best weddings I've been to were on a budget (although lucky with the weather).

We got married on Brighton bandstand. Had about 30guests so pretty small by modern standards. Sit down dinner at our favourite restaurant and then drinks down by the beach.
Think food and drink cost us about £800, wedding venue £500.
Had a few luxuries like our cake. We got a Choccywoccydooda cake and it was fabulous. Had such a perfect day. Only thing I would have changed was the photographer...he was very into posing and I would have preferred more natural shots.

Was 20,just had a baby and not 2 penny's to rub together.

Registry office,high street dress/suit,one bouquet and one button hole from a cheap local florist,a very close friend who was an amateur photographer did the photos for free as a wedding gift,friend of family made a beautiful but very simple cake which SIL paid for as a wedding gift,held the reception in a large garden (for free as it belonged to a family member) with friends and family making food to contribute to the buffet.

Réception was over by 8pm,in laws took the baby overnight and a group of us younger ones went out clubbing.

It cost next to nothing and was an amazing day.Tbh I wouldn't have changed it;it was so low key and relaxed.

Hehehe - I've had two. The big church affair and the intimate family register office. The small register office was by far the best.

I’ve had two. A big church affair and an intimate family register office. The big church affair was by far the best and the one that has lasted.

We didn't tell anyone we were getting married because to be honest we think but weddings are a waste of money and we don't enjoy all the fuss that accompanies a wedding. We told our parents we wanted them to come for lunch with us so they could meet for the first time and we took them to a nice city centre hotel. We just wore dressy day cocktail type outfits. When having drinks before our supposed lunch we told them they'd better finish their drinks quickly because we were getting married in 10 mins. They were suitably surprised

We had booked a small room upstairs in the hotel for the ceremony and it was covered in candles and the registrar was waiting. We had a very short and sweet ceremony. Both sets of parents cried. There was a magnum of Laurent Perrier and canapes waiting for us when we were done which we had whilst taking some photos on our iPhones. Then we all went to a Chinese fine dining restaurant and had an amazing meal and got pissed. It was a great day and we wouldn't change a thing. We didn't regret not having siblings etc there or not having a wedding dress and all that stuff. It was very us.

*Big not but!

@TaylorStan this sounds wonderful, I’d definitely want my kids/siblings/nephews but could potentially find somewhere with private dining for that.

I enjoyed the day immensely, despite it pouring with rain when we were supposed to be having photos outside! I didn't overspent, but if I could go back, I'd change a few things:

• I wouldn't bother with pew ends. You walk the aisle in seconds, so one else will notice them and I'd be lucky to even have 1 photo of them
• Don't bother paying extra for seat covers, unless the chairs are really dire. By the time men have jackets on the chair, cardigans, bags and people are actually seated, no one will even notice the chair covers!
• I bought my own centrepiece vases 2nd hand from ebay and got smaller candle holders from a charity shop. Orchid stems from a flower market and other bits bought online. They looked fantastic (IMO) and were FAR cheaper and nicer than the centrepieces the venue offered.

Our venue offered alternate drop meals. So we chose 2 mains, (say chicken & beef) and as they deliver the meals around the table, they put down chicken, then beef then the next person is chicken etc. Obviously vegans/special diets are also catered for, but generally people swap with their partner/+1 if they don't like the meal given.

We chose a package with an open bar which included certain beer, wines, champagne and soft drinks. People paid extra for spirits.

I had a fairly big church wedding. Probably 150 people including children. We did gain a few people on the day so it’s hard to be certain. We kept costs down by ditching the formal reception in favour of a garden party… in a garden. It was a Saturday for reasons already mentioned. We also provided a free bar. It didn’t cost thousands because we bought the booze ourselves and there was no corkage.

We slipped off on our own to Mauritius. Found our witnesses in the hotel bar the day before and got married on the beach . We had a big party ( that my MIL insisted on) when we got home . I didn't enjoy the party anywhere near as much as our wedding. We clearly love that kind of thing as we renewed our vows with Elvis in Vegas five years later . On our own again .
We do like people honestly 😂

@Coogee somewhere we could provide the alcohol ourselves could be a good compromise for the bar situation. So many lovely ideas from you all

The most amazing day EVER. Just us, our kids, our siblings and parents at an exclusive use venue. Just absolutely dreamy. The whole day was about us and our family - not greeting so and so and so and so that you invited because you felt you had to.

Fairly large (150 in attendance) church wedding during the Christmas holidays. I had four bridesmaids. I wore my mother's wedding dress (re-fashioned a bit). Everyone behaved themselves (divorced parents, both remarried). Children were invited and had a great time. Reception had good food and a band. We ate, danced, and left for our honeymoon. I enjoyed everything about it and would probably do it the same (except for the bridesmaids' dresses; it was the 1980s after all.)

We got married in Mexico with 35 guests and then had a big party back here with 200 people.

We had the most amazing time at both & would not change anything atall. worked out much cheaper than a wedding here in uk

Weekday school holiday
Not local - about a 7 hour drive to a beautiful countryside location. We stayed in a lovely hotel and it felt like a wedding and honeymoon rolled into one
Gorgeous monsoon lace dress
Wild flowers
Flower girls and our toddler son as a page boy
Excellent photographer but only for 2 hours (tip - this saves a fortune!)
Quick registry office ceremony, photos then meal in a lovely restaurant
No faffy stuff e.g speeches and favours. Just really simple.
A few annoying Covid restrictions (it was early June) but that didn't bother us or stop us!
Small and intimate.
Lots of children.
Guests well looked after with nice food and unlimited free drinks. No-one had to worry about anything.

Total cost £2,500 and it truly was our perfect day. Wouldn't have made it any more fancy had we have won the lottery, that's just not us.
Congratulations op!

We had 14 people at our wedding including us and our Dc. Church ceremony followed by afternoon tea and fizz in a local restaurant. We then met up with family members at our local pub and had a few drinks with them. They kept our DC and we went to a hotel for the night. Absolutely perfect, low key and very us. Cost less than a grand, however we didn't do it small for that reason it was exactly as we had wanted.

We had a super early wedding (10.30 ceremony!) In a little village hall followed by a reception in a barn (isolated, owned by a family not a big company) with lots of land. The weather was beautiful so people spent most of the afternoon outside playing lawn games we had set out. We had two long tables with wild flowers in jars and hessian table runners. Mil made reams of Bunting and there were fairly lights everywhere. We had pimms for cocktail hour and a hog roast (served to the table) for our main. For the evening we had some m and s platters. We had a friend of dh learn our first dance song and perform.it.

Despite the early start, people didn't leave till curfew at midnight! In the evening I was playing rounders in my wedding dress. It was perfection!

All in cost about £7k with help - dm bought my dress, dbil made canapés, dh aunt made our cake, flowers were through a family friend as was our wedding car (beautiful vintage) and we did a Spotify list with some hired amps for the evening. Plus I got a super cheap deal on drinks because I completely miscalculated vat from another quote (think I added 20p instead of a few quid per person) and the company we used matched it. Dh family.member was a photographer at the time and gave us a huge discount.

Oh and we had about 80 to the day and 100 including evening.

Fairly small wedding (80 guests) at a former medieval priory. We got married in the Tudor Barn. Total cost was around £16k. I'm not sure I'd do that again, but at the time it gave me my dream wedding!

Friends provided live music during the ceremony.
Cousin was the photographer.
Sister-in-law did the flowers.
Mis-matched bridesmaids dresses.
Indian food buffet for the wedding breakfast.
No seating plan.
Have-a-go archery (with "proper" longbows and I took my own!).
Guests free to tour the manor house.
Few speeches (my dad and me/hubby).
No proper wedding cake, I just asked people to bring a Victoria sponge.
Live music for an evening ceilidh.

Bloody brilliant. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, actually, having typed all that out!