Tell me about your wedding…

[MamaTutu2]

Shamelessly nosy thread! We are newly engaged and trying to price up different wedding options. Would need to be school holidays but could be a weekday. Happy to do home or abroad so would love to hear all about your weddings, what did you do, what would you do again, how much did it cost?

We had our reception in the church hall (inspired by photos of my parents' 1958 wedding). Sit-down served buffet, organised by a church friend who had a catering business. Alcohol provided (including a few bottles of wine which BiL and a couple of others found during their overnight camp in the hall ). Ceilidh organised by more church friends who were into folk stuff.

Wore my mother's wedding dress - it was several weeks of her then wages and we have identical colouring. With hindsight I would have liked to have chopped a foot off the bottom, used it to make slightly better-fitting sleeves (I couldn't lift my arms to do my own hair) and used the sleeves to make a decent sash bow (it was 1992), shoe and buttonhole rosettes and a couple of pockets.

Four sisters and H's sister as bridesmaids, in totally unmatching dresses. I had long hair - as did 3 bridesmaids - and just wore it in normal style. Make-up done by ourselves, though with advice from sister's friend who had some formal experience. Carried carnations, each of us a different colour, made up into bunches with gipsy and scissored ribbon by us that morning.

H wore his uni interview suit .

Invitations were calligraphed by H's brother.

Music provided by FiL (introit) and invited friends (we were heavy on the G&S contingent).

Honeymoon in Iceland (easiest decision of the lot: "this may sound weird for a honeymoon but I've always wanted to go to Iceland" - "me too! let's do it").

No regrets at all (have had a few further thoughts since then, but just extra touches which would have pleased me nothing major).

Oh, I went to church in my dad's car with a ribbon tied to the front; another sister's friend (at catering college iirc) made the rich fruit cake; ceremony was at 4:15 and - having spent years in a church choir - I walked in On The Dot.

@merryhouse using family cars is such a good idea, we’ve got quite a few nice cars in the family I could probably use

2002 September on a Sunday, very informal, at local golf club. Married at 12, 40 close guests, friends and family, as small managed to get round to speak with everyone. Was over by 7pm, at the time there was no hotel there so the golf club took us to nearest hotel in a landrover. Everyone agreed was a great day, my mum and dad had put on a mini bus for my family so could have a drink, husbands family stayed local in a b and b, and our local friends got taxis. Honeymoon on the Tuesday to Crete. Wouldn't change anything.

Bil has a Rolls Royce we used, Mil made the cake.

We had a surprise wedding, only family( about 40). They thought they were coming to a weekend away to celebrate my DH birthday , golf for those who play , spa for those who don’t . So nobody had the worry of new dresses etc . As they came in for evening meal it was set up like a church, with a violin player . I was in a small office with no mirrors so in the photos my dress ( not white ) is a bit boho off the shoulder 🤣 . We had a band and everyone danced all night , everyone was booked in to the hotel so happy days . Over the next week we took groups of friends out to dinner… so celebrated about 5 times ! For us with 8 grownup children between us and at the time 6 grandchildren ( now 11) it was perfect . 🙌😎😎

I was meant to be getting married tomorrow but cancer put paid to that.

I’d done the big wedding the first time round and it was fab but we went for something completely different this time.

We hired a barn with accommodation for the weekend for 23 of us and planned afternoon tea with champagne on arrival. Pizza truck in the evening (that should have been tonight!).

Tomorrow we were having a humanist ceremony on the patio with cocktails and canapés and then dinner. We just compiled a playlist and hired some amps. Evening food was cheese and pork pie cakes. Wedding cake was ridiculously big for 23 but we chose four tiers of flavours we really loved.

Sunday we were having a BBQ truck for brunch and had lawn games, board games etc. There is also a tennis court, swimming pool and hot tub at the barn.

Monday was brunch and leave.

All alcohol and food paid for and carefully chosen for the whole weekend (we are foodies).

I had welcome hampers made up for each room with local produce etc and all the usual flowers, decorations etc.

Wedding dress was an occasion dress from Monsoon and I had my three nieces as mini bridesmaids.

It was going to be about 12,000 in all which is ridiculously expensive but we wanted to treat everyone in our close families to a total blowout weekend away.

But I got cancer in March so we had to cancel everything again (due to COVID last year!)

But I am sitting up in bed at the moment having had two major ops and treatment since March, and while I am heartbroken about not having our wedding, I am some happy and fortunate to be alive, it doesn’t hurt so much.

And it’s made us realise that the only thing that’s important is our health and us being together so we’ve decided just to go to the registry office just the two of us and then celebrate with family when time allows.

Do whatever you feel is right for you. You don’t need a massive expensive wedding, the marriage is the important thing and just being together. Good luck and have an amazing time whatever you decide to do.

We got married 19 years ago and we were sort of on the cusp of traditional vs modern, so we had a church wedding in the village where I grew up, then a marquee in the grounds of a funny little country hotel - it was a bit fawlty towers but had amazing views of the countryside. The day reception was quite small - family and close friends - then more for the evening party.
We had a hog roast in the evening and friends (and Dh!) DJ'd, my brother bought a keg of ale and we had a bloody good party. A friend took the photos and my sister did the flowers - all in about £7k. I wouldn't change a thing, apart from the hotel Dh and I stayed in after the wedding, which was rubbish! (And maybe not got quite so drunk...)

@ThankYouVeryMuchGerry your plans sound amazing and I hope you manage to carry them through - good luck with the treatment

OP I know weekday weddings save loads of money but please choose a Saturday if you can for the sake of guests having to book time off work (and if you have any teachers amongst your close friends and family they probably won't be able to)

20k I'll never see again

14 people at our local registry office, then about a 100 at a local barn venue from 6pm. We had a lovely street food van, provided beer, wine, cider and soft drinks, and a huge cake / fruit buffet. Fairy lights, paper lace and silk roses. Homemade fudge favours, a laptop and amp, everyone took photos. Cost about £4K including everything, and was perfect.

Dh and I only, on a rooftop in Las Vegas - we wore proper attire, it was coming up to sunset and was the most amazing moment.

Party at home for 75 family and friends 3 days after we arrived home.

Whole thing, dress etc came to 7.5k

we hated the idea of a 3/4 course meal.
We had fish and chips for the wedding breakfast meal then in the evening a wood fired pizza van.
Donut wall, cupcakes, cheese cake bites etc and sweet cart for dessert. Worked out so much cheaper and everyone said they really loved it (there was also hardly any left over food which was a good sign!)

Got married and had the reception all at a hotel. 45 guests. Food was fab- had bacon and cheese toasted sandwiches available in the evening with wedding cake for afters. Proper meal was a late lunch. Dj was awesome, we picked one that we could give a playlist to. Photographer was cheesy and annoying and kept asking us to act like people we aren’t. Honeymoon was in Ny and Vegas.
Had a great day BUT if we did it over we would just go off and get married in Vegas on our own. Some of our wedding guests behaved really poorly and we never spoke to them again- ditching our wedding to get cheaper drinks at a Wetherspoons and never coming back is just one example.
So my advice is choose carefully who is coming.

It was grand. As in spectacularly impressive.

I was young and it was everything I could have imagined. Our friends thought we were crazy but we all had a fabulous time. It was wild.

We did a big wedding as cheaply as we could.
Catholic Nuptial Mass.
I did the catering with a couple of women who worked with my husband. A buffet with local teenagers from the youth club as waiting staff.
I did all the flowers, apart from the bouquets and bridesmaids headdresses.
I hired bridesmaid dresses. They were hideous looking back, but I liked them at the time.
No special cars. No photographer. My husband arranged a riding for the disabled horse and carriage for afterwards. Very sweet but immovable cart horse. In the pouring rain. I sat in bin bags between church and reception.
A marquee we’d been lent by a local headteacher, and use of his school grounds and lavatories. We decorated it with balloons, flowers and lighting.
Our best man brought a transit of wines over from France (He lives there)
A brilliant ceilidh band.

No separate day and evening. Everyone came to the church and then the reception flowed from day into night. About 150 people overall.
Our friends mucked in with whatever was required.

Very different to our children’s.
Daughter had fifteen after two postponements, but it still cost a small fortune. We did the wedding cake and champagne on our village well. People ‘happened’ to be walking in the area or driving through when we came out of the church. It meant drinks and confetti with a vintage ice cream van for about 100 before a seven course tasting menu with wine flight for fifteen.
Son is having a French Chateau for 150 next June. A piper, croque-en-bouche instead of wedding cake. A three day affair with the formal part in uniforms and evening BBQ with shorts and loud shirts.

@ThankYouVeryMuchGerry your wedding sounds like it would have been fabulous.

I hope you have the opportunity to do whatever you wish for and that your registry office wedding is perfect 💜

Vegas just the two of us, streamed live online. It was ace! Then a reception when we got home, where we had "make your own burgers" as the main, and a crafting table for the guest book, and lots of wedding cakes for pudding (I made a huge selection as love baking, and people could choose what they wanted and have it with ice cream for pudding). Had a sweetie table too (these are probably passé now but it was fab at the time) :)

Monday wedding here. This decision was made as we were both chefs at the time and lots of our friends in the catering industry wouldn’t have been able to attend on a Saturday and most worked all weekend.
We had forty guests (that was the maximum allowed) for the wedding as I’m atheist and the choice back then was church or registry office. This made it just close family and friends and I enjoyed the intimacy but we also followed it by an evening reception for 150. I don’t think I’d change anything and we’re still happily married almost thirty years later.

Going abroad may be cheaper for you but no matter how much your guests enjoy travelling it doesn't mean they want to use annual leave and budget going to somewhere you want to go, when you want to go. Particularly true if you opt for school holidays but have guests who don't have kids so wouldn't usually travel at peak times.

Bear in mind that there's no law to say you have to have the big 'traditional' bash with all the magazines and the websites and the interfering relatives tell you you HAVE to have.

My first wedding was in deepest Winter so got a much cheaper deal from the venue, small but fairly formal. Sadly I forgot to check that the groom wasn't an utter prick.

I'm getting married again next year, summer wedding and costing a lot for our dream venue but we're having a ceremony followed by a relaxed party rather than a formal sit-down dinner and evening reception.

Weddings are a massive waste of money but I wouldn't change a thing.

First wedding - Saturday in summer, church wedding, hotel reception, probably spent about £18k all in. Not married anymore but don't regret a thing - had an amazing day.

Getting married again. Winter wedding on a Saturday (no cheaper, apparently it's still classed as peak). Civil ceremony in an exclusive hire venue. No idea how much everything is costing, haven't added it up and don't intend to but ceremony/reception is about £9k for starters.

Had such a good time at my big first wedding, couldn't miss the opportunity to do it all again!