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Original poster

"First Look" photos on wedding day - would you do it?

53 replies

Mcakes · 30/03/2017 15:38

I have recently come across the trend of "First Look" wedding photographs (where, on the wedding day, the couple see each other all dressed up and get photos together BEFORE the ceremony). Am interested to hear what MN'ers think....

Most "First Look" photo shoots are VERY staged and a bit sickly in a U.S schmalzy kind of way and my first thought was "What a load of twee crap". I also thought I wanted the first time my partner and I see each other to be at the ceremony.

However..... I think I am sort of changing my mind on it.

I am now wondering if it could be a great way to spend some proper time just as a couple before the wedding juggernaut starts with everyone else involved. In fact it could be quite magical and personal, just the two of us seeing each other rather than being on show. We could hopefully work with the photographer to limit the twee factor.

I think I'd also quite like the opportunity to spend some time getting nice photos away from the main wedding venue (we are going to be in beautiful countryside in May) without having to keep guests waiting for hours after the ceremony.

Neither of us are at all superstitious or bothered about tradition for tradition's sake (e.g. we are staying together the night before). Also, we are getting married mid-afternoon so would have plenty of time to fit it in before the ceremony.

I have no idea if we are going to do it and the wedding is ages away yet but I'd love to hear what others think!

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 30/03/2017 15:43

I think it's quite self indulgent really. If you feel the wedding day stuff is a "juggernaut" and "on show" then you've planned the wrong wedding surely?
Our day was about us and celebrating our becoming a family (I had two children from previous marriage) with our friends and family. It wasn't a hassle to be avoided or about the photos or anything else.

TisConfusion · 30/03/2017 15:47

I've never heard of this before!
If you both like the idea of it then go for it. I like your point about not keeping guests waiting for ages after the ceremony, so thats an advantage.
Personally I've always imagined DP waiting for me at the end of the aisle and that being the first time we see each other on the wedding day. So it wouldnt be for me. Guess I'm more traditional than I thought I was!

kel1493 · 30/03/2017 15:48

We wanted a very traditional wedding. We didn't even speak through text from after midnight as technically that was then 'the morning of our wedding'. Neither of us wanted to see each other until I was standing by his side, the thought of him seeing me beforehand whisk have ruined it for us both as it wasn't what we wanted. I didn't even want him to turn around and watch me walk down the aisle (he didn't).
So for us no way would we have done it as it wasn't for us at all. I felt we had plenty of time together (we got married at 3pm).
That said I can see why other people would want to.
If you feel its something you'd like to do then go for it.

IHeartDodo · 30/03/2017 15:48

Sounds like a good idea to me if you're not superstitious. You can spend as long as you want taking photos, not have to rush them because your guests are waiting :)

celeryisnotasuperfood · 30/03/2017 15:50

I've seen this a bit in Eastern Europe. Seems to not be unusual there. I like the idea but only because I can't be bothered with the faff of separate venues the night before so would be easier for us living together to get ready together and travel to venue together.

celeryisnotasuperfood · 30/03/2017 15:51

I'm not very traditional!!!

MortalEnemy · 30/03/2017 15:51

If you feel the wedding day stuff is a "juggernaut" and "on show" then you've planned the wrong wedding surely?

This, in the nicest possible way.

It sounds a bit weird and artificial to me - you'll have spent the night before together, presumably prodding one another and hissing 'Did you remember X?' at 3 am, then separate to get dressed at some point in the morning, and then stage a bunch of 'OMG!' photographs of the two of you in a suit and a white dress?

On the other hand, getting the photographs out of the way without a lot of hanging round for everyone sounds like an excellent idea, if you can do it without ending up covered in mud or something....?

But I'm the wrong one to advise. We didn't actually take any photographs of our wedding day.

FinallyHere · 30/03/2017 15:52

We got married in a civil ceremony held in a hotel. About an hour before the ceremony was due to start, while people were still arriving, our photographer suggested we go for a walk. It was a lovely time, we chatted to each other (ok, that was mostly me chattering...) the photographer kept in the background and I certainly forgot all about him. He knew the venue quite well, and had pointed us towards some lovely backdrop. Those photos are among some of my most favourite pictures of the whole event.

He must have interacted with us at some point, but as with a lot of that day, I have no recollection of it.

Hope your day, and your marriage, all goes well. Kind regards.

Original poster
Mcakes · 30/03/2017 15:53

Oh my goodness that's not what I meant at all!
Bad choice of words, I am not thinking of the wedding as a juggernaut really, am just aware that lots of people say that they regret not having more time just with their partners on the day and that it can all go by in a bit of a blur.

The wedding is very definitely about getting everyone we love together for a big party, not at all about me and partner being 'on show'. As I said, a big part of the reason for considering this is to get to spend MORE time socialising with friends and family on the day rather than disappearing off for photos immediately after the ceremony.

Don't mean to sound defensive, I am just embarrassed at how my post must have come across as that is not me at all!

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 30/03/2017 15:56

Also. The photos won't be of you as a married couple, so are kind of artificial.

I don't like it really. Sorry.

Kit30 · 30/03/2017 15:56

Entirely a matter for you.It sounds like a money spinner for the photographer tbh. I wouldn't just because of practicalities, you'll need to refresh hair and make up before the ceremony & make sure that everything's sorted well ahead of time. Do you need the pressure on the day?

Buglife · 30/03/2017 15:56

If it would be nice to see each other and have some special private time together before the whirlwind of the wedding etc, you can do that anyway without dressing it up as a 'first look' shoot couldn't you? I can't help feeling that having a photographer snapping away at you when it's just the two of you would ruin the moment anyway Smile if you want to do it for photos then ok, but if you want to do it for yourselves just do it. I spent my wedding morning with DH, we had breakfast together and it was lovely, we were brimming with excitement and happiness. In fact it was while we were sitting there when we watched a little baby cruising about and doing adorable wobbly first steps that we decided to try for a baby. It was a lovely time. We also walked into the wedding together (it was a small one) so got time together in a room laughing and building each other up Grin

Really, anything goes now so do it. I just think it would be nicer without a photographer and also if you think it's a bit cheesy to have the photos then just do it!

Katurah · 30/03/2017 15:57

My husband is a wedding photographer and has had a couple of couples do this recently - he doesn't pose it, it's all very informal and very beautiful - quite emotional actually! I'd go for it xx

Original poster
Mcakes · 30/03/2017 16:01

Finallyhere
That's good to hear how it worked for you. Your experience is exactly the sort of thing I was imagining, photographer in the background, time for us, not staged.

OP posts:
Kit30 · 30/03/2017 16:03

BTW I have been to US weddings where this has been done. Fail # 1 unpredictable weather ( everyone drenched in rain/ sweating buckets in sunshine) #2 some photos with bride or groom wearing wedding ring pre marriage, some no rings, some with one party wearing ring from previous marriage Grin; #3 unexpected last minute 'hitches' including pissey photographer making couple late for their own ceremony & forcing grandma to climb into hummer with groomsmen as her own car was used for bridal couple.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 30/03/2017 16:06

Do you mean the type where bride and groom are seperated by a door or room abd the photographer catches the groom bursting into tears when he sees the bride?

Cos those are fucking terrible. Sorry.

NoParticularPattern · 30/03/2017 16:08

We aren't doing it because a) we won't have time since we get married at 12pm and b) I think they're a bit naff and artificial. That being said, if you like them and you both think they would make good photos and not result in you running really late or having some sort of drama then go for it. If there's one thing wedding planning has taught me it's the phrase "it's your wedding. Do whatever you feel is right and don't listen to anyone who tells you it's crap."

Misspilly88 · 30/03/2017 16:09

We just made sure the photographer got the first look as I came into the church. It was very important to me but I would have wanted it to be authentic rather than a staged thing.

GeorgiePeachie · 30/03/2017 16:11

I think part of the reason for the first look for me is a time to get your crying out of the way. (I'm very teary and emotional. Happy tears!)

I'd struggle to keep it together if I saw my partner at the end of the aisle and I hadnt seen them in a while.

So have a minute outside together to get used to the look of them, all pretty in their wedding clothes.

Wibblewobble100 · 30/03/2017 16:14

You have not planned the wrong wedding. Mumsnet can be very into the whole "we only did it for us and no one else" sentiment. In reality for a lot of people their special day is a huge juggernaut of excess and being on show, or some where in between. Do what you want. If you like the idea if photos first, do it. Personally I think all your points are totally valid.

Alyosha · 30/03/2017 16:16

It's your wedding! Go for it, you only do it once (hopefully).

It's not my thing but I can see why people would do it.

WaegukSaram · 30/03/2017 16:20

If there are that many "stages" planned to your wedding this sounds like it could be just one more stress to fit in.

MrsXx4 · 30/03/2017 16:21

I like the ones where the bride and groom are standing either side of the door and holding hands but not actually seeing each other....but I wouldn't do it myself. I'd find it cringe to actually ask to set that kind of thing up.

I'm just going to see him when I walk down the aisle. xx

BaggyCheeks · 30/03/2017 16:23

If it makes you happy go for it Smile

They're not my taste, I think that the photos are a bit twee and forced. From the ones I've come across on Pinterest, they seem to be the bride sneaking up, and then photos of the crying groom. I'd (again, personally) rather just have the time prior to the ceremony together privately, just the two of us, before the rest of the celebrations which everyone is part of.

Cocolepew · 30/03/2017 16:24

Only if it's like this one