"First Look" photos on wedding day - would you do it?

[Mcakes]

I have recently come across the trend of "First Look" wedding photographs (where, on the wedding day, the couple see each other all dressed up and get photos together BEFORE the ceremony). Am interested to hear what MN'ers think....

Most "First Look" photo shoots are VERY staged and a bit sickly in a U.S schmalzy kind of way and my first thought was "What a load of twee crap". I also thought I wanted the first time my partner and I see each other to be at the ceremony.

However..... I think I am sort of changing my mind on it.

I am now wondering if it could be a great way to spend some proper time just as a couple before the wedding juggernaut starts with everyone else involved. In fact it could be quite magical and personal, just the two of us seeing each other rather than being on show. We could hopefully work with the photographer to limit the twee factor.

I think I'd also quite like the opportunity to spend some time getting nice photos away from the main wedding venue (we are going to be in beautiful countryside in May) without having to keep guests waiting for hours after the ceremony.

Neither of us are at all superstitious or bothered about tradition for tradition's sake (e.g. we are staying together the night before). Also, we are getting married mid-afternoon so would have plenty of time to fit it in before the ceremony.

I have no idea if we are going to do it and the wedding is ages away yet but I'd love to hear what others think!

If you don't want the traditional not seeing each other before the ceremony thing it's pretty awesome imo.

Seems less stressful. Between the ceremony and going to the reception etc there isn't too much time to do the photos.

And seeing as you still want to look fresh etc....

Did you have a pre-wedding shoot? One for the engagement as well or will this be the only one?

I think it's quite cute, but I'm glad we didn't do it. One of my favourite bits of the wedding video is DH seeing me walking down the aisle, and turning to his best man and quite clearly saying "Holy shit"

Haha the T-rex one is inspired!

The photos won't be of you as a married couple, so are kind of artificial

What is artificial about photos of the couple on their wedding day? It doesn't matter whether they are married or not when the photos are taken, it's still their wedding day.

XH and I did this, but as a practicality because the timing of the wedding meant that it would have been dark afterwards so we got lots of photos beforehand. It did mean putting on the wedding rings before we actually married, but obviously we'd both tried them on previously so it wasn't a big deal. We also arrived together and got ready in the same room, so not traditional in many ways.

I must admit, if I were to marry again I would quite like a bit more tradition. Thinking that swanning down the aisle to a teary gasp from DP when he sees how fabulous I look would be v romantic. Unfortunately by that point I will be well past 50 the first flush of youth, so it will probably be less gushy than that.

If your dress and general appearance is going to take his breath away then I think the first glimpse at the alter will be lovely. If you are being more low key with the outfit (no offence intended, just that some people ramp it up a lot for weddings and others are more like the best version of their usual self!!) then the before photos sound ideal.

Or maybe you can arrange a mini-reveal when you go to take your photos, get the photographer to capture the first time he sees you.

Just seems like another uneccessary staged photo op.

If the photographer is there, no matter how unobtrusive, you are not alone as a couple.

It's not really any weirder than photos of the bride and bridesmaids getting ready though.

We had a few photos after the ceremony, after the "official pics" - where we were outside wandering together, just catching our breath before lunch. Nothing staged or too intrusive.

One of them - where we just looked at each other and mock scream/smiled, at exactly the same time is my favourite pic (and memory) of the wedding. The photographer caught the excitement just right - even though we didn't know he took it 'til we saw the proofs.

Been married a looong time.

Photography on your wedding day is the biggest waste of money ever. You never look at the things and if you have more than one small photo on your mantelpiece you look like an utter twat. Or trying to hard to pretend that you aren't heading for divorce.

I caveat this with the photos of others to show your kids when you bring the album down from the attic every 5 to 10 years - 'look here is your great auntie Mabel, she died before you were born' 'oh yes doesn't everyone look awful in those lacey dresses' etc etc. That can be quite sweet but I repeat this doesn't even happen once a year and you spend thousands on photography?

Why oh why do you want these cheesy beasts of photos that will make you cringe with shame years from now? Do you ever see anyone else's wedding videos? No because most sane people are mortified by the bloody things.

If you don't believe me ask people. Normal people not wedding photographers. Spend the money on booze or your first home instead.

I really like the idea OP, in a non schmaltzy way obviously. We had a very very small wedding and if we'd done the whole big wedding thing, I'd have been much more reassured and less nervous if DH and I had had a few quiet moments alone before the day kicked in.
I hope you have a lovely day however you do it.

Definitely in the "what a load of twee crap" camp. Right up there with cake smashes for awful-ness.

We did this, having seen it being done at a wedding in the US (we weren't guests, they were getting married at a vineyard we were visiting)

We thought it would be fun and also took the pressure off - it gave us a moment together before the ceremony, rather than seeing each other for the first time that day in front of our family and friends.

Really glad we did, we enjoyed it, it was quite emotional and the pictures were lovely.

I loved having time to have photos took after the ceremony. We just walked around the grounds, chatting and laughing about the morning.... it was a lovely moment spending time together just us.

Wouldn't have been the same if we'd seen each other before the ceremony IMO.

just the two of us seeing each other rather than being on show

but having it as a planned photographed event is the exact opposite of that, surely. If it really were just the two of you, I can see how that would be a nice way to connect before the mayhem.

I agree with FlyingDuck

It's more about being seen to do something, than doing it.

Remember stuff in your head.

I don't see the point in faking it by putting on rings before you get married.

If you aren't going to do the walking down the aisle to where he is waiting, then having photos before hand could be nice. If you are, I don't get the point.

Most of the time taken up with wedding photos - unless you are really indulgent and swan around for hours - is shepherding "bride's family" / "everyone who went to university with the groom" / groups around, along with Auntie Mabel going missing just when she is needed for a critical photo... So unless you do the whole lot of pictures beforehand, you won't necessarily save much time.

I couldn't disagree more that photos of your wedding are a waste of time or money!

The photos of our wedding are the loveliest photos we’ve had or are likely to have, they captured the moments, the day, are a special reminder of our vows and ring exchange, my DSC, families.

I hate having my picture taken but I was so happy and relaxed I didn’t even really notice.

I had a “friend” do the pix for my first wedding, he fucked it up completely and it was a huge disappointment. When we were planning DH and my wedding we knew the photos were one of the most important parts and I’m glad we invested in it properly. Worth every single penny. (But if you want an album, make it yourself, don’t buy a massively overpriced one from the photographer).

We spent the night before together and all got ready together so no big reveal or first look. But having time to have photos taken properly will be important to you so do whatever gives you the best chance of that, and also spending time with your guests.

When you walk down the aisle you only really see each other & the pictures you get from this moment are usually very natural & lovely. The photographer usually captures the groom & bride looking nervous before they see each other & I feel if you got pictures taken before the ceremony you would miss this.

I was recently in a wedding where the couple did this and it was actually really nice. They also went down the aisle together so it was a nice send off.

If you like it, go for it.

No. I think you should not see each other until the bride is walking down the aisle.

eliza

there are some weddings when the couple comes in together or where they come in at the same time but at opposite sides etc...

You have time together after the wedding when you do all the couply photos then... it can take up to an hour and gives you some time by yourselves (and the photographer). As a plus you'll actually be married at that point.

If you want to spend some special time together as a couple the day before your wedding, you could ... you know ... just spend some special time together as a couple they day before the wedding. Go for a walk. Go for a meal. Whatever floats your boat.

I don't really see the need to involve a photographer and you will certainly get some nice pictures of you both dressed up on the day.

could you really be arsed with it on the day?
it might well feel like something else you've got to be on time for
something that you have to fake the "magic" of when actually you'd rather just get wed
i hate stagey all wedding photography though and me and DH and the kid all arrived together at the same time and greeted our guests before the ceremony.

Really interesting to get the different perspectives on this. Thanks for the responses!
Seems to me that there are two different interpretations of this idea.

1 ) Something very contrived and twee and all about the photos. Those awful 'peeking between fingers' or 'bride creeps up behind groom' shots. Agree these are beyond cringey and not what I had in mind.

2. The bride and groom getting some private time before the ceremony and then having some nice photos taken in a more relaxed manner. Not necessarily even having a photographer there recording the exact moment you see each other.

Sounds like the term "First Look" is not that accurate for scenario 2 so maybe I'll drop that!

Still not sure if it's for us but if we do, it will be very much the more relaxed end of the spectrum. Also no pretense so no rings etc. The countryside around the venue has very special meaning to me and I would love some photos of us on our wedding day on the footpaths, in the woods etc. Wellies or walking boots would be fine for this bit and am planning a lovely but (relatively) practical, light dress that I could walk in and hitch up as needed. Just need to make sure I don't fall over

Also, to me this does not detract at all from the 'walking down the aisle' moment. We will be doing that in front of all our friends and family and I'm sure will still be looking at each other in an 'oh my god!' sort of way even if we have seen each other beforehand.

Mcakes

If you are on the fence about it, why not do some photos on the morning of your wedding but before you put your gladrags on?

I think First Look photos are a lovely idea but agree with someone who said, upthread, that the point of walking down the aisle might be defeated (if that features in your ceremony).