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Original poster

Save the date cards ...

29 replies

ExplodingCarrots · 03/02/2017 13:50

Did you send these out for day & evening guests or day guests only?

I want to ideally send to both but don't want to cause any confusion. Don't want an evening guest to think they'll be expecting a day invite etc.

OTOH I don't want to have to do 2 types of save the dates because of cost.

I can't remember ever having a save the date card for an evening invite.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/02/2017 13:51

We sent ours to day guests only and have had them from others.

Never had them for an evening invite.

I think it would be very confusing to send them to evening guests as when I get them I expect to be invited to the whole day.

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 03/02/2017 14:47

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Just making sure my gut feeling was right. Will have to think of a way of informing evening guests the date without causing confusion.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 03/02/2017 14:49

I didn't send them at all.

FunkyChunk · 03/02/2017 14:49

I sent save the dates to day guests only.

The evening guests will be getting a formal invitation a few months before the wedding.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/02/2017 14:49

I think we just made it generally known that that was when we were getting married, so people were aware of the date.

Pineapplemilkshake · 03/02/2017 17:09

I didn't send them at all, but generally made it known when the wedding would be.

We received STDC for DP's cousin's wedding (all day) but were later downgraded to evening invitations as they were offended not to be invited to our wedding Grin

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 03/02/2017 17:16

I've never heard of sending a save the date to evening guests and if I received one I would assume that I would be getting a full invitation to the day. If you send them to evening guests I think you run the risk of pissing people off if they turn down another invitation that they would otherwise have accepted had they known that yours was for evening only.

Leeds2 · 03/02/2017 17:56

I don't see the point of save the date cards, so wouldn't send any to either day or evening guests. If I were to send them, I would only send them to the day guests.

PotteringAlong · 03/02/2017 17:58

Neither, I just sent invitations. Why do you need them?

Glitteryfrog · 03/02/2017 18:49

We didn't bother, but we did email/message everyone.

We're also expecting RSVPs to be emailed.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 03/02/2017 20:20

We sent out save the dates because we were getting married on a summer bank holiday weekend, hadn't got enough details sorted to be able to send the proper invites (reception venue not decided) but wanted people to...well...save the date. So they do serve a purpose sometimes. But if you can send invitations, I'd just do that. Otherwise it's more money for the cards and stamps plus the hassle of writing the envelopes and posting them.

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 03/02/2017 22:37

I wanted them ideally so people got a heads up early on and could make necessary arrangements because it's a summer wedding around a busy time. Not everyone on the list has Facebook etc so would need to send something. If I just sent an invitation out the blue a few weeks beforehand then I wouldn't be surprised that a few wouldn't be able to make it.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 03/02/2017 22:49

If they are close enough friends / relations to be invited to your wedding aren't they close enough to told verbally

BackforGood · 03/02/2017 22:57

Another who sees them as another unnecessary expense created by the wedding industry, so there's something else they can make money on.
Surely all the people that it's really important are there, will talk to you (or your parents) regularly anyway ? Add in all the social media ways of contacting people, and if the odd person/couple doesn't fit into any of those categories, then you could e-mail them or phone them up. 99% of the important people will know the date though.
If I ever did get a Save the Date card though, I would presume I was going to be invited for the whole day.

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 03/02/2017 23:13

Littlebear not all family and friends no. I have relatives and friends scattered around the country.

I'm a little wiser now thanks

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 03/02/2017 23:20

We invited everyone to everything.

We sent a save the date email with a link to a wedding website with travel and hotel information. We did it quite far in advance because many of our guests were coming from overseas and we wanted to give them as much notice as possible.

Then we sent paper invitations in the post but because we had the website we just put the link on the invitation and didn't have to include lots of extra bits of a paper. Although we did send some printed information for our grandparents as we thought they'd appreciate having it on paper rather than having to go online (although they do all use the internet).

NameChange30 · 03/02/2017 23:21

If I were you I'd send an email save the date (because that's what I did Wink) as you will be saving money and paper, and you can change the wording for day and evening guests.

gamerchick · 03/02/2017 23:24

Maybe some would see it's a bit insulting to rub the b guests noses in it to send a save the date. So no.

Just send invites, save the dates are a bit daft anyway.

HeddaGarbled · 03/02/2017 23:29

The point of save the date cards is to give plenty of advance notice to important people so that they don't book holidays or whatever if they want to come, so close family and friends who you know would be disappointed if they couldn't come. Evening guests don't fall into this category. No one's going to not book a holiday so they can come to your evening do.

Just make sure you get the proper invitations out in good time. A few weeks' before is too late for a wedding invitation. If you know the date, you could even skip the save the dates and go straight to proper invitations.

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 04/02/2017 07:50

We've decided to scrap save the dates altogether. We're only have around 50 day guests and the ones that are coming from afar wev decided to send a save the date email instead.

The money we're saving we'd rather put behind the bar Wink.

I'm really new to all this wedding stuff. Never been to a full wedding myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 04/02/2017 12:14

Also, completely off topic but don't want to start another thread. We don't want gifts of any kind. Do you write this on the invite or just not say anything at all? I don't want people to feel they have to give something.

'No gifts, just the pleasure of your company' or along those lines?

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/02/2017 12:18

Yes maybe say no gifts but don't write a poem Wink

However be prepared that you will get some anyway.

We weren't going to do a list as we said we didn't want anything, but did in the end as my parents were getting so many questions about what we would like that I had visions of 20 toasters and 30 kettles Grin

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 04/02/2017 12:41

Don't worry there won't be a cheesy MN worthy poem Grin

we've been together 10 years, got dd, own home etc we don't want people giving us money. If they do that's fine but I don't want it to seem they have to. We want to treat them to a fun day with drink and food and not them be out of pocket.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 04/02/2017 13:48

You can put 'We've been together 10 years and already have our own home and everything we need, so we really don't want you to bring gifts' but most people still will Smile

NameChange30 · 04/02/2017 13:55

Don't be so sure people will give gifts if you tell them not to! This was our wording and we got some gifts but not loads:

"Please don’t feel you have to give us a gift – your presence at our wedding will be enough for us. We know that many of you will travel and stay at a hotel in order to attend, and that means a lot to us.

If you really want to give us a gift, we’d be grateful for a small contribution towards our honeymoon fund or something from our gift list [then provided gift list information]."

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