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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

mentioned blw to hv today...

29 replies

Ilovemyboy · 26/03/2007 20:50

She didn't know what it was and told me that she didn't recommend it.

She asked me questions like 'why would you want to do that?'. V.patronising and told me that I 'must' spoonfeed and introduce pureed food first. This was in front of a load of people at the baby clinic. She made me feel like a silly little girl and I started blushing and looking back, because I was put on the spot I was struggling to explain my reasons for wanting to do it and the benefits which must have made it look even more like I didn't know what I was doing.

She offered me the NHS weaning booklet and I told her I didn't want it as I had done my own research. I was getting quite arsey by this point tbh. I told her to look on Aitch's website for more info and she wrote it down. Ha!

I am fuming tbh. Not at all because she didn't know what it was...but because of the way she handled it in the 'I know better' old-skool hv way.

This is the same hv that told me that I would never make it to 6mths exc bf as DS is a big baby (thanks for the encouragement love!) and told me that I looked tired in front of everybody. What mum wants to hear that when their baby is going through a growth spurt?

Bitchface!!!

Btw, I don't want to come across as a hv-hater to all the hvs on the board. The hv at my bf group is bloody marvellous.

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 26/03/2007 20:56

See, this is what I find so b**y confusing about bringing up children. The official advice about weaning babies has changed, presumably not because everyone just fancied a change and had got a bit bored of the old advice, but because the new advice actually means something. Whether you are into BLW or not, presumably this would mean that the weaning advice would change atleast a bit, as a 3 month old is obviously different to a 6 month old. Has it changed? no - still weaning spoons and baby rice. Aaaarhgh!

nickytwotimes · 26/03/2007 20:57

i'm not a blw myself, but it is entirely your choice and i hate people telling you that you must do things the "conventional" way and all other ways are wrong. it is particularly bad when it is someone in a position of expert.
some people are in the wrong job.
horrid lady!

Nbg · 26/03/2007 21:00

I find this so sad. I have the most amazing Health Visitor. She is an absolute dream and infact shes coming to visit me tomorrow. I plan to tell her about the BLW because weaning is one of the reasons for her visit but I know full well that she'll be very open to it.
She even uses MN for information

McCadburysDreamyegg · 26/03/2007 21:01

I had a similar discussion with my HV when DS was ready to be weaned - wasn't about blw but anyway in a room full of mums she spoke to me like I was 4, I tried to explain to her that DH and I had a bit of medical knowledge and an older child so we we weren't starting from scratch as it were but she continued to belittle me in front of everyone, when she finally paused for breathe she asked me where DH worked and who he was - I took GREAT delight in informing her he was her boss!!!! The room went quiet and she went red! Just one of those moments!

Original poster
Ilovemyboy · 26/03/2007 21:01

Aye, she told me it 'doesn't matter' if I start weaning DS earlier than 6mths...regardless of the fact that we have allergies and intestinal problems in the family and DS has already got eczema. All because he is a big baby.

It got quite jargony and I started bringing the ol' WHO guidelines out the bag. Well if it gets my pov across...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovemyboy · 26/03/2007 21:01

My last msg was to MadameP btw.

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 26/03/2007 21:03

oh dear, how horrible. chalk it up to experience, ilovemyboy, there's nothing you can do. she sounds like a rude bitch first and someone who doesn't keep her skills up second, iykwim?

tbh i don't tend to get into the benefits thing with people, just because it's a bit unknown. maybe it will be better in terms of obesity, maybe not, maybe it is better for a child to control their own appetite, maybe not, maybe they'll be less fussy, maybe not. we can exptrapolate that these things might be the case from bfing research and basic psychology, but no-one's proven them.

i tend to turn it around and ask why on earth someone would bother to spoon feed if they don't have to, and if both parent and child are happy not to? and i'll bet that your HV was advising mums to start their babies on finger food at 6 months 7 or 8 years ago, when the weaning age was 3 months. so either they took three months to learn how to eat finger foods or 6 months is the right time to start finger foods. and i know which i think is the right answer on that one.

AitchYouBerk · 26/03/2007 21:03

PMSL extrapolate

kiskidee · 26/03/2007 21:04

another hv to put up along a wall and shot.

somebody, pass me my rifle.....

!Fuego!

AitchYouBerk · 26/03/2007 21:06

my HV keeps well away from me...
she's nice enough but not the biggest brain on the planet.

hippmummy · 26/03/2007 21:07

I quickly learned that if you want to do anything that wasn't strictly 'by the book', HV's or other NHS professionals are not the people to look to for support.

Mostly they are suspicious of it, and even if they are sympathetic will still remind you 'it's not what's recommended'.

littleEasterlapin · 26/03/2007 21:08

My old HV was great, I told her about BLW and her exact word were "ooh, funky!"

She used to moan to me about who her in-laws thought she was a snob because she wouldn't let her 3 year old drink tea .

Like everything in life, there are some great ones, some crap ones, and some OK ones. Sorry you've got a crap one but it sounds like you can stand up for yourself!

McCadburysDreamyegg · 26/03/2007 21:09

But in some ways you can't blame them, I guess it all boils down to fear of being sued for giving out advice that isn't seen as current best practice in the medical world.

lulumama · 26/03/2007 21:10

ye gods!! she doesn;t recommend it ,but she doens;t know what it is !

set Littlelapin and her chinese fighting muffins on her !

am you have digestive issues in the family, yet she is not encouraging and supporting you to get to 6 months before food is introduced!

Original poster
Ilovemyboy · 26/03/2007 21:13

kiskidee - pmsl

She did say that purees from 20wks (as per the freakin' NHS booklet), finger foods from 6mths (but I'm not going to get that far am I [hmmm] ).

She is a rude lady. I'm not taking him back to be weighed until he starts on solids.

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 26/03/2007 21:15

very true, mcdreamy. but i definitely think that there is a way of saying 'hhhmmmm, that's not the recommended way' without belittling the people they are there to help.

littleEasterlapin · 26/03/2007 21:16
nickiey · 26/03/2007 21:17

um what is blw?

Original poster
Ilovemyboy · 26/03/2007 21:20

littlelapin - lol at 'oooh funky'. That is exactly the way I felt when I left the clinic... like some progressive mum following the latest fad.

I didn't ever mean to make her feel undermined if that is why she reacted the way she did. I was looking forward to getting some tips and help with it.

lulu - when I mentioned blw, she thought it was eating solids on demand a la demand bfing and then told me that I must get DS into eating solids at regular mealtimes. So she was way off the mark...

OP posts:
littleEasterlapin · 26/03/2007 21:21

I bet this cross with about 8 replies - BLW = Baby Led Weaning - see Aitch's blog for miiiiiles of info

hippmummy · 26/03/2007 21:24

I agree Cadburys - it's quite sad.
My DS1 was born preterm and would only settle to sleep on his tummy as a newborn baby. We asked HV what she thought about us putting him on his front to settle for daytime naps, when he was constantly being watched. She couldn't give us a personal answer at all. All she would say is 'Well, the guidelines say they must sleep on their backs'.
We let him sleep on his tummy in the end. But I can see why she had to say it.

nickiey · 26/03/2007 21:32

oh right! We do that then, I try not to talk to my HV as she is mostdisaprooving of most things i do.
my ds is almost 6 months and is really into bits of cooked carrott and squishy banana, and he really loves those baby organix carrott wotsit type things. From about 5 months he would look longingly at anything we were eating but i wasnt confident enough to give it to him, until last week and he seems so much happier!

Nikki76 · 26/03/2007 21:44

I was talking to DH about BLW today - he's from Syria and he said that because jarred baby food is relatively new over there, BLW is what everyone does as a matter of course. I found that really interesting.

They just give the kids what they eat but less salt/sugar etc and add a bit of yoghurt to rice to make it easier etc. He said they will probably try it with DS when we visit next week and I'm more than happy for them to try it - if they can - DS seems to prefer bits of fluff on the laminate to any tempting morsels I put on his tray....

kiskidee · 26/03/2007 21:47

blw is what i think most people the world over do, nikki. i suspect it used to be more like this over here too in 'poorer' times. just taht people also gave loads of other unfit crap too like lard on toast. we just needed a bit of education on the whole, not jarred food.

pupuce · 26/03/2007 21:51

I am all for BLW but reading the last post makes me smile because it's the "new" thing to do... and yes that's what we use to do... what about elimination communication ? That's ALSO what we use to do and still do in loads of countries... yet when you mention it to the average woman in the street she looks gobsmacked and think you are mad...

Ilovemyboy - sadly I still see/hear HV dishing erroneous and misinformed advice regularely!

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