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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

AIBU my friend has started feeding her DS solids at 12 weeks

44 replies

thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 08:09

My friend has had a DS about 12 weeks ago and she has decided to start feeding him solids already she finds the whole situation funny but I'm rather concerned and too be honest disgusted that she has started him so early Ive spoken to other friends about it but they brush it off as she is very over sensitive and I dont think they want to upset her

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 12/08/2016 08:16

Hmm it's a bit worrying but not really your business. Attitudes to this have changed very recently. I was given solids from a few weeks old (didn't get on with milk apparently) and it didn't do me any harm.

Cakedoesntjudge · 12/08/2016 08:17

Different people will make different parenting decisions - if my friend started trying to tell me I was wrong I'd probably laugh it off as a way to try and get her to move on rather than telling her to piss off (which is what I'd want to do). Everyone seems to have an opinion and everyone means well but surely you can remember how annoying it gets?

When my DS was born the advice was not to wean until 6mo (no idea if that's changed or not) and I started just after 4mo - after spending weeks feeding him every hour or so and having the health visitor tell me things like "you're feeding him too much milk, it's tricky because he's so hungry he'd be better off on solids and some babies are ready earlier than others but obviously you must wait until 6mo anyway" Hmm

DS was absolutely fine, suffered no ill effects and actually started to sleep and go longer between feeds - it was like he was a whole different baby. He was 2 weeks overdue and born toddler sized as a big baby so maybe that made a difference, I don't know.

Either way, as tempting as it can be to intervene when someone chooses to do something differently to you, it's not your place to do anything more than support and offer gentle advice. Health visitors are there to make sure babies are progressing correctly and if there's a problem they will undoubtedly raise it with her.

kiki22 · 12/08/2016 08:18

Keep your nose out its bugger all to do with you. Does it not tell you something that everyone else is keeping out of it? Your being judgy on something that's none of your business you have no idea what's going on.

YorkieDorkie · 12/08/2016 08:32

Yes the guidelines are around 6 months but they haven't always been there. Women must have had to use their instincts to know when their child is ready before now. Can her baby hold up their head and swallow the food? If so then I'm afraid it's none of your business. I started my DD on solids just 4 weeks later than her because it would have been impossible to keep her going with just milk for another 2 months to keep to the "guidelines". It would have been negligible of me to not recognise her needs. You have to remember they they are guidelines not laws.

Muskateersmummy · 12/08/2016 08:35

It's really not your business. Pretty sure she will know the guidelines but there may be reasons she choosing to start early. Every child is different. We weaned at 4 months, on the advice of doctors. Don't judge, support your friend.

LunaLoveg00d · 12/08/2016 08:39

The guidelines are actually as near to 6 months as you can, but definitely NOT before 4 months or 17 weeks.

All this "never did me any harm" may be true but a sample of one person is not scientific. We know from looking at thousands of babies that by waiting until at least 17 weeks you are lessening the risk of issues in the future. You cannot tell whether a baby's gut has matured sufficiently to cope with food just by looking at them, and many people misread signals. I also think there are a lot of parents desperate to rush their baby onto the next stage.

However I don't think saying anything will make a blind bit of difference, she's already decided what she's doing, is happy with her choice and won't listen, even if you are completely correct. She's probably one of the "ur baby ur rulez" mothers, or worse "happy mama, happy baba".

YokoUhOh · 12/08/2016 08:42

DS2 is 12 weeks - there is NO WAY he's ready for solids, he can't sit up on his own or hold food.

I cannot understand this kind of ignorance. 12 weeks old babies do not need solid food. I'd say something, but I'm a stroppy cow Grin

Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:26

In response to kiki22 I think you are rather rude and there was no need to go gun Ho on me he cannot hold his head up or sit up on his own I have a DD and she started solids at 18 weeks which was recommended by the hv she can sit up and hold her head up yes it might not be my place as I've not said anything but I'm worried about the long term damage I just wanted a few opinions not to be battered with mind your own business

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Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:29

I've not said anything to her as I won't be thanked for it but I am entitled to an opinion like everyone else is only difference is I don't need to be rude about it like some of you have in sure everyone on here has interfere in situations that they shouldn't so do not judge me based on asking a question

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veryproudvolleyballmum · 12/08/2016 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SonicSpotlight · 12/08/2016 10:30

She's not going to change her mind whatever you say and any damage to her DD is already done.

Alliswellihope43 · 12/08/2016 10:30

I'd say something, there's guidelines for a reason
Just casually ask if doctors have recommended it
I started weaning literally on 4 month birthday, because doctor told me to, was going though milk like nobody's business and making himself sick because he was still hungry
It's personal choice but then again if its detrimental to the child maybe say something

veryproudvolleyballmum · 12/08/2016 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottielou7 · 12/08/2016 10:34

Why on earth are you bothered about what she's doing with her baby? It does seem rather busy body.

Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:34

She has not been advised too and I don't think it's funny when she is feeding him Ben and Jerrys ice cream

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Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:36

For the last time I am not a busy body she is soon to be related to me hence my concern

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Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:37

Maybe they should change it from mumsnet to troll net thanks for the people who were positive in their response for the negative ones you probably haven't even got a clue or have children!!!!!

OP posts:
veryproudvolleyballmum · 12/08/2016 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 12/08/2016 10:41

What's wrong with 'happy mother happy baby' ? It's true!

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 12/08/2016 10:42

Op you can't actually do anything apart from look after your own baby. I can see why uoir concerned though

tireddotcom72 · 12/08/2016 10:42

Weaned at 15 weeks under peadiatrician advice as reflux meant more milk came up than went down was only baby rice and apple / pear not Ben and Jerry ice cream.

hownottofuckup · 12/08/2016 10:42

Tbf she's feeding the baby solids earlier than advised (as millions before have) she isn't leaving the baby unattended, depriving it of food or affection? I think you can dislike it, and obviously it's against the guidelines but unless she's feeding the baby very inappropriate (salty etc) foods then the chances of harm coming to the child are fairly negligible and there really isn't much you can do.
If you do feel very strongly about it, you could talk to her? But I'd do it sensitively as she is unlikely to respond well otherwise I'd imagine.

Cosmo111 · 12/08/2016 10:43

I'm a parent and I think you need to take a step back allow her to parent her own child the way she wishes it is no concern to you.

Original poster
thingsneedtochangepronto · 12/08/2016 10:43

The next 18 years are going to be a nightmare for me yeah righto that's so funny I'm crying with laughter

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hownottofuckup · 12/08/2016 10:44

Is it always Ben and Jerry's or was it just a little taste?