Would this put you off?

[PontificationOfLife]

Nothing wrong with friend at all as a person. They have never once been rude to me or hurt me. They are always warm and always help me with needed.

But sometimes I feel they can be a bit too health conscious and nitpicky when coming to food. Obviously what they put into their body is their choice but they seem to be a bit too strict. They never judge me for what I do and to be fair to them they are in great shape and health.

Like when eating food they rigorously calorie count. When we were having breakfast and having boiled eggs and they only ate the egg white and left the egg yolk because it has too many calories apparently. We went for Mexican and get asked if we want totopos with the salas and they'd rather not because the tortilla chips have too many calories.

When going to pub they just order water. Obviously nobody has to order alcohol. Many times I don't as well. But they won't order a juice or even a coke zero.. because they are strictly no alcohol, no sugar and no caffeine whatsoever. They won't have a lemonade or any other soft drink. Just water.

Sounds dull and like they have an eating disorder

It sounds a bit joyless but then I love my food, and exercise regularly so I can continue to enjoy it. Going out to a restaurant would be a bit pointless.

It would put me off.

I find obsessive calorie counters off-putting... but I grew up with a brother who would do that to whatever I had on my plate. Whatever I ate or did, it was never good enough. Even as an adult, I find occasional family meals with him stressful.

In your case, I would try to find an activity to do that didn't involve food so that I could have a normal conversation with a friend.

Why does it bother you?

They can eat and drink what they choose. The important thing is they don't comment on your choices.

It’s them being them and they are not preaching at you

I think it’s sad that people have to conform to things that don’t actually matter

the problem may be that you feel she has a good point but you are not motivate enough to same changes

I have two friends with strict eating patterns. One is a nightmare to go anywhere with because very often, even what she's ordered will be too cheesy (or whatever) when it arrives. I'd prefer not to eat out with her.

The other is very restricted with her eating and never drinks alcohol but she goes wherever everyone else wants to eats the bits she can without making a fuss.

If it's not affecting you I don't.whybitnmatters if she chooses not to have chips or to leave the egg yolk. Certainly not if she'd prefer to have water over diet coke.

I don't count calories, but I don't drink alcohol or fizzy sugary drinks. At the pub I have mineral water.
My friends don't seem to be 'put off' by this.
If someone judges you or bangs on about why they're ordering what they're ordering, that'd be a different matter. In this case though you just seem pissed off with someone else's choices.

They could have a health condition you're not aware of. As long as they don't tell you what to do, what does it matter if they eat/drink differently?

There's no eating disorder or health condition at all. They are in good shape. They do eat healthy, follow a strict diet and exercise well.

But sometimes I feel it's a bit OTT. Once we got given free ice cream (one scoop each) because some of our dishes were delayed, they are so anti sugar that very very reluctantly took the tiniest bit of it. Very reluctantly ate it and then kept it away. Same thing happened when I did a home cooked dinner. When they came to my home I made a traditional dessert, they didn't outright refuse but took the tiniest, smallest bit of it and ate it very reluctantly.

Also ordering (as is their choice) the most salady of salad bowls when we go eat out.

But why should they eat something they don’t want ? Just because you think they should ?

First post nails it.

People like that make me want a giant chippie supper and 6 pints.

It would annoy me, yes. It’s self-indulgent and tedious. I don’t like people who make their personality out of purity spirals and performative self-denial. It’s up to you whether it’s a dealbreaker (you’re allowed not to hang out with people who annoy you!), whether you ask her to knock it off, or whether you put up with it because the rest of her is worth it.

I knew someone like that. She was always staring at what other people were eating, not judging but it was like her eyes were calculating all the time, and went gluten free even though she had no issue with gluten. I found it hard to be around her as she was so uptight. No give. She was like this with other things too, was really strict about things, no leeway. No craic at all.

Some people are just like that. It must calm them to have the control.

She also never laughed. I thought it was the lack of sugar but she really was no fun at all.

Sometimes it can be a bit performative at times. Obviously they can eat whatever they want and avoid whatever. I totally understand no sugar no alcohol. But to me is there really any health reasons to leave the egg yolk when eating boiled eggs. Do you really need to go and say "going to look hard for the healthy options at this place".?

couldn't care less about ordering water.

I suppose it depends what you mean by 'puts you off.' Would it put me off being friends with them, no. Would they be my first choice of companion when going out for food, maybe, not, but tbh I don't really notice or care about what other people order!

Wouldn’t bother me at all, as long as they weren’t preachy or judgy about it, which it sounds like they aren’t. And it sounds like they don’t redirect what you do, ie you went to a Mexican restaurant, so she isn’t always trying to change plans to avoid eating out.

Next time you see him, sit down next to him with a single lettuce leaf on your plate or a single piece of raw broccoli and silently start eating…. You’ll be able to hear the cogs in his brain desperately trying to find an issue with it 😆

@PontificationOfLifeDon’t date him, you’ve got the ick. As you said, he’s already put you off him. Block him and move on

I remember for the world cup we went to a pub okay to a game. That pubs food menu is traditional Italian pizza (with a variety of toppings to choose from). That apparently was too unhealthy for them but as you're allowed to bring in outside food a subway beef sandwich was the "healthy" alternative.

They are a friend as I said. It just sometimes feels a bit weird and sometimes performative.

Like once buying a packet of sweets, having 2, asking if I want the rest and the binning the entire packet as I didn't really want any. Or when we were going to a food market going to the kebab stall and only ordering salad. Just salad with nothing else.

They don’t judge the crap you eat, what are you judging the crap they don’t eat? 🤷🏼‍♀️
Why does it bother you so much?