Would this put you off?

[PontificationOfLife]

Nothing wrong with friend at all as a person. They have never once been rude to me or hurt me. They are always warm and always help me with needed.

But sometimes I feel they can be a bit too health conscious and nitpicky when coming to food. Obviously what they put into their body is their choice but they seem to be a bit too strict. They never judge me for what I do and to be fair to them they are in great shape and health.

Like when eating food they rigorously calorie count. When we were having breakfast and having boiled eggs and they only ate the egg white and left the egg yolk because it has too many calories apparently. We went for Mexican and get asked if we want totopos with the salas and they'd rather not because the tortilla chips have too many calories.

When going to pub they just order water. Obviously nobody has to order alcohol. Many times I don't as well. But they won't order a juice or even a coke zero.. because they are strictly no alcohol, no sugar and no caffeine whatsoever. They won't have a lemonade or any other soft drink. Just water.

tbh this would drive me nuts but it would be more the performative part of it than their lifestyle choices. I know you said they don’t judge what you eat/drink and don’t try to police that but some of your examples come across as them indirectly pushing their views on you.

it’s like a vegan having to tell everyone they’re a vegan. Just eat/drink what you want without making such a song and dance of it

I don’t understand why it bothers you? They’re not making you eat like they do, they don’t comment on what you eat, but you seem very judgemental about what they eat. Would you be the same if they didn’t eat meat rather than not eating sugar? Why would you offer them pudding if you know they don’t eat sugar anyway? It’s like me offering a vegetarian a steak.

Well, it clearly ‘puts you off’. I don’t know why you’re asking us.

I don’t think I would enjoy eating and drinking around this person! So I’d be trying to do things with them that don’t involve that.

Are they ordering mineral water in pubs or just tap water? I definitely wouldn’t be ok with the latter, that’s just cheap if you’re in a pub and not broke.

Just tap

Yeah, that’s cheap and shitty then. I could not sit in a pub with someone who is not skint but refuses to order and pay for a drink.

I have a friend like this - very restricted diet (not for any health reasons) and very underweight. We no longer meet for meals out, just tea/coffee. The final straw was both of us being invited to another friend's house for dinner and her barely eating a few olives, saying she'd had a "huge" meal already. It was so rude when the host had prepared a lovely meal.

I have a friend who is the opposite and keeps trying to feed me the crap she eats. She's very overweight and thinks because I'm slimmer, it won't hurt. I'd just like to eat what I choose and let her do the same. It gets very tedious having her 'treats' pushed onto me. It sounds like you're not doing that though. In your shoes I'd make plans that don't revolve around meals times.

I would be more concerned they had an eating disorder than 'put off'

I wouldn't say it's a disorder as they do eat food and they exercise and seem to be in good shape and health. But I just feel at time it's a bit too much. Like egg yolk is perfectly healthy.

Having an eating disorder doesn't necessarily mean you don't eat at all. Everything you've said suggests eating disorder

Sounds like orthorexia.
It's very tedious and I agree that it's performative.

@PontificationOfLife I would do nothing including food with this friend. I have had an ED so performative undereaters are triggering to me. I enjoy food now and want to contine with that.

I have stopped eating out with a friend like this as I wasn’t finding it fun. We do other things instead now.

I mean I can still enjoy my main meal..I just feel odd because if I order a starter I'd have to eat it on my own for example..and yeah I'd just be ordering a pudding for myself if I wanted one.

Give her my number, she sounds like my kind of chai masala :)

They probably won't have it as there's caffeine and sugar

No sugar, no milk just add water to the herbs. (grinding your gears?)

Do you have other friends @PontificationOfLife or do you tend to rely on this person for socialising?

This person is in my main/closest friendship group. When we can, we all hang out and have fun together.

Sometimes we meet up individually if others aren't free. I've ever been on a weekend trip with this person and it was really good fun