My cat is a pain

[SkyBlue1987]

So annoyed at our kitten right now. I’m in a bad space with him, pretty sure he hates me too. He is 7 months. I’m solo parenting this week so was already exhausted. I was finishing up some work at the dining table (it was 9pm here) and the kitten was in a deep sleep next to me. Went to check on my two year old and during the short walk to his room the kitten must have woken and followed me as he sprinted past my feet when I opened the door and hid under the bed. That was my mistake for not shutting the kitten away while I opened the kids doors but I was tired and thought he was far too asleep. I tried to entice him out with some treats and his ribbon but it didn’t work so just left him hoping he’d follow me out soon. Five mins later I hear my child scream and the cat make the meow sound that they make when fighting so run back in there and my child is so upset, cat next to his head. Cat must have tried attacking his head or something. Can’t see any scratches so rock child back to sleep meanwhile cat still under bed where I can’t reach him. Try for 10 mins to get cat out quietly no luck. Resort to water gun, every time I spray he darts somewhere else in the room but won’t get out. Try to pick him up he nips his head around to bite me. Took 25 mins to get him out a damn room (by now kitten soaked with water) then 20 mins or so to get him into the room he sleeps in. 45 mins spent fighting with a small
kitten tonight when I wanted to be in bed. Is it supposed to be this hard? How do I get a kitten out a damn room? How do I get him to stop attacking my child at night so I don’t have to lock him away? Can I actually repair my relationship with this cat? I can’t get rid of the cat as he is my husband and older child’s cat who adore him and who have wanted a cat for years. Usually I would make my husband deal with the situation tonight but he was away. Guess I just needed to vent.

This was so awful to read…. The kitten is still so small and young. You don’t treat baby animals like this. It isn’t “stubborn” it’s a baby and scared. You really need to rehome the kitten if you can’t look after it with lots of kindness, love and respect.

Do you actually understand anything about cats? He's not being stubborn.He's being a cat. He doesn't understand 'chances' The more you squirted the poor cat with water, the more you scared him.

Your kitten hid from you for ten actual minutes?
I dont think that is stubbornness. Sounds more like fear.

I did over react because he woke and frightened (possibly hurt) my child, and I guess my protective mother instinct came out for my child.

I tried shaking the treat bag and dangling his ribbon under the bed first.

There you go again. The kitten is “stubborn” and “provokes” your child as if he’s some malicious enemy in your home. No, he’s just a young animal who is following his natural instincts to eat, sleep, play, seek human contact where it feels safe to do so, and hide when he doesn’t feel safe. He is entirely dependent on you, whilst also being the target of your aggression with a water gun. How scary that must feel.

I understand that, but as far as the kitten is concerned, you are its mother too, you need to be protective of the kitten as well as your child. If you had two toddlers and one was hitting the other, you wouldn't squirt the one hitting with a giant pressure gun of water (which is what a spray would feel like to a tiny kitten). You'd probably separate them, if necessary taking the one being hit into a different room while the other one calmed down.

A couple of Dreamies in a saucer in the hallway would probably have tempted the kitten out of the bedroom.

A kitten wanted to play with a child, so you tortured it and terrorised it.

Show this thread to your husband so that he knows what you are like towards animals and can make an informed decision to divorce your abusive ass and take his kitten to a place of safety.

You're an idiot. Why would spraying him with water make him come out from hiding?
You sound horrible, I can't even say anything nice.

I dont know why you wanted from this post.

Are you sure the kitten attacked your child, given that you can't see any scratches? An alternative scenario is that the cat jumped on to your child's bed and inadvertently woke your sleeping child, which gave your child a fright so he started crying and the cat miaowed back. Something like that happened with my then teenaged DS. He had left a bedroom window (that was directly above his bed) open for the night, the cat managed to get in through it and jumped down, landing on my sleeping son, who awoke and started shouting in terror, before realising the culprit was his beloved bundle of fluff.

Poor kitten, re-home the kitten!! Get it away from you.

Tips on how to get him out without using water obviously, because I’m not proud of it. Treats and toys do not work for my cat half the time.

Build a better relationship with your kitten so that you are a safe and loved person your kitten wants to come to.

I doubt my child would have woke if the kitten just cuddled with him. My kitten often playfully nibbles/grabs my child’s hair whenever my child is laying down, probably looks like a toy to the kitten. But also the kitten does have a slightly aggressive streak which we are monitoring.

It’s not just me. He often decides he won’t come to anyone .

It's a kitten not a tiger FFS.
You should not have animals full stop. Everyone calling you out and you still can't see that you are wrong.

You really do need to leave him be. Kittens need a lot of sleep. If he hides away he's telling you, 'I need some time alone to sleep'. He will come out when he is ready.

You can work on training him to come when called by saying his name when he is fed or given a treat - say it as you give the treat so he associates the treat with his name, and thinks 'it's that human noise, I will get something to eat'. But if you call him and something nasty happens, you instantly undo that training.

I have actually said a few times I was in the wrong using the water. And that was the first and only time I plan to use it. So my kitten would not have been scared of me before tonight, in fact as I said he was cuddling up with me before this incident occurred. I just don’t have any other tools and I think some people fail to understand that some kittens have particularly difficult personalities. Yes I would prefer we did not have a cat but that doesn’t mean I do not care for him.

• A cat that fears you will not come to you. Stop chasing, stop shouting, and stop using the spraygun.
• Let the kitten sleep on people's beds. CatOfHate slept on my bed from shortly after I got him at 10 weeks until he died in my arms aged 14 years.
• When I was growing up, if the cat scratched me, that was my fault for provoking her, not the other way around. You cannot hold a non-verbal animal to human behaviour standards. I learned to understand the cat's cues for wanting to play, wanting cuddles, and wanting to stop play or cuddles. You and your children need to learn the cat's cues for wanting to play, wanting cuddles, and wanting to stop play or cuddles.

He was playing, he thought all the chasing and spraying water was a game. And I doubt he intended to hurt the child (probably just startled each other) and you could find no injuries. Have you got any of the squeezy cat treats that gets most cats attention if you need to lure them out of somewhere.

As far as the cat was concerned, you were repeatedly attacking him and he was terrified, so he was defending himself.

Why did you get a kitten? You sound like you’ve very small children, surely you know the two wouldn’t be a great mix! Your poor ‘soaking’ kitten, please rehome him and don’t wet a kitten so much it’s ‘soaked’ it’s not a dog, you’re going to give it serious problems!

Give your child a cat toy. When the kitten plays with the child's hair, the child gets the toy and plays with the kitten using the toy.

Feline play is often mistaken for "aggression". The kitten had its siblings to play with during its first weeks, and they had a coat of fur to protect against claws and teeth. Now the kitten has furless humans. It still thinks it can use claws and teeth.

A rule to help this is "hands are for stroking, toys are for playing". When the kitten wants to play, you play using a toy, not a body part.

I learned the hard way as a child to discourage cats from playing with hair. I was dangling my plait to the floor for the kitten to play with and she stopped playing. I leant down to see where she was and she took a swipe at my fringe, raking her needle claws across my forehead. This was my fault, not hers.

OP has said how much her husband and older DS adore the kitten, so I don't think it's helpful to tell her to rehome it. It's not going to happen. I know exactly how my DS and son would have responded if I'd ever suggested getting rid of our cat! OP has admitted to making a mistake with the water pistol incident, maybe we can have a few more posts with positive advice about how to improve her relationship with the kitten?