My cat is an arsehole today because...

[Mabelface]

He jumped up on the kitchen work surface whilst I wasn't looking and trod on the coffee machine power button, switching it off. Arsehole.

Because of all the muddy streaks and pawprints plastered all over the window, the frame, the windowsill, the doorstep and the back door. What a mess.

I don't mind that MrCat hunts, because he kills his catch and eats it. But he wants to hide in the house to eat it. No. Just no. He can body well eat it in the kitchen, where I can mop the floor afterwards.

He stuck his stupid whiskers at a lit candle so instead of a WC Spa smell, by house smells of burned fur.

Every time I get up he warms his fat, furry arse on my laptop keyboard and digs down and channels gravity in that way that makes them impossible to move.

@RainbowZebraWarrior the beaphur oneon amazon works for mine but she’s nervous as opposed to murderous.

[quote Fluffycloudland77]@RainbowZebraWarrior the beaphur oneon amazon works for mine but she’s nervous as opposed to murderous.[/quote]
Thanks. I might try that. I have reason to believe he was abused / neglected in his 2 previous homes before he came to us aged 3.5 yrs old. Pretty unusual for an expensive pedigree to end up in a 3rd home so young. We love him so much, so this is absolutely his forever home

My doris is a brilliant mouser, I live in a wood so theres an abundance of mice, so why does she have to annoy me by killing fledglings, she will empty any nest she finds, so cruel!!

DKitten has learnt how to hunt, elderly cat taught her - they practised stalking and pouncing for weeks.
Now there is a gift mouse daily which I have to chase round my bedroom for half an hour and then put back outside.

He killed a mouse. Left the half eaten head in the hallway and has now delivered it's body, 13 hours later 🙃🙃

He was begging for attention this morning, wanting to be petted constantly while I busy getting ready to go out. Now that I have time, he doesn't want to be touched and ducks out of the way if I go to pet him 🙄

One of mine is sitting on the arm of the sofa right beside me, and she clearly has the hump because she's got her back to me and her ears are sideways. I have obviously transgressed in some way or other.
😂

You missed your appointment.

You didn’t know you had one but that’s no excuse now is it.

Not today but yesterday;she was hiding in a face height cupboard and punched me in the face with her paw,did the same to my DS and scratched my DD's face.

This morning my other cat threw a tantrum because he was outside,it was raining and he wanted breakfast but then threw a tantrum about being brought inside and dried off.He's gone off outside now to hang out with his BFF from two doors down (loves that cat but hates his sister).

Last night I checked the front door was locked before I went to bed only for my legs to be attacked as I went up the stairs because I didn't open the door. He has never gone out at night but I obviously displeased him at 10.30.

Girl cat has taken umbrage at us going away for a few days (with some of her favourite people looking after her) and has pissed everywhere.

*You missed your appointment.

You didn’t know you had one but that’s no excuse now is it.*

Oh dear, I am a bad cat servant. I have also made the mistake of cleaning his litter tray with Zoflora today. Apparently this is unacceptable. I've told him that it's for peeing in, not eating off, but this apparently makes no difference. He's not going near it.

I bought a lovely mug with a matching coaster. He swept the coaster off the table and it broke the first day.
Cats are never sorry when they do stuff like that.

Because she won’t eat her food and I told her off for begging each time I’m in the kitchen or eating human food!
she decided to swipe my face in retaliation!