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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Questions I have asked my cat(s)! (Light-hearted)

41 replies

TheLongRider · 05/07/2019 20:48

Cat 1 "How many slugs are stuck to you this time?"

Cat 2 "Why won't you use the fecking cat flap?"

Cat 3 "Why are you howling at 1am when no-one else is around?"

Cat 4 "Why are you nipping Cat 2 again?"

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 05/07/2019 21:18

“You love mommy, don’t you?”

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/07/2019 21:46

How d'you manage to be lardying upstairs in my DDs room but be downstairs by the back door before I've walked down the stairs myself and I didn't pass you on the steps

(The fact I have identical cats has nothing to do with this, they teleport )

Original poster
TheLongRider · 05/07/2019 21:56

See also Cat 4 who is all black, "How did you get stuck in a closed room when I went past you on the stairs?" Hmm

We only have one black cat... Who can definitely teleport. Her middle name should be Macavity.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/07/2019 22:13

I can hear a magpie outside cackling. My female cat is up at the door in Scrappy-Doo mode ( let me at him, let me att-em )

I will ask her (nicely) not to fell it with one swoop and drag it indoors .
Or the Smug Fat Pigeons (who might fly off with her attached )

Mice -ok
Sparrows - they are endangered so go easy
Rats- if you kill them outside
Frogs-just no

(Hope they get the memo)

1vandal2 · 05/07/2019 22:19

My cats love when i read macavity to them. They get all meowy

MaidenMotherCrone · 05/07/2019 22:26

Who killed the rabbit and disembowelled it outside my bedroom door?

Which one of you leaves the sacrificed mice and their body parts outside all the bedroom doors?

Why do you pick on the dogs?

iklboo · 05/07/2019 22:32

'Why are you biting your brother's willy'?

Isthebigwomanhere · 05/07/2019 22:37

Do you want me to leave the Tv or Radio on for you?

Why are you so pretty?

Say hello to Dd on the phone

Do you love me ?
😀

Toddlerteaplease · 05/07/2019 22:49

To Cheddar; why do you scratch the sides of your litter tray, instead of burying your horrendously stinky poo?

Toddlerteaplease · 05/07/2019 22:50

I'm going to try reading McCavity to them and see what happens

Loyaultemelie · 05/07/2019 22:54

Toddler I also ask this to Franky, who does this several times a day.

To Jacquetta: how can you always work out how to get up but not down?! (Trees, bannisters, wardrobes, bird aviaries (shhh don't tell Dh)

To Franky: why do you bite me when you want stroked then cringe as though I make a habit of coshing you over the head when you know rightly I will only stroke you, as you demanded!

RickOShay · 05/07/2019 23:00

Where have you put the very much alive mouse?

Why are you tripping me up? it’s really not in your best interests if I fall down the stairs?

RickOShay · 05/07/2019 23:02

Why are you miaowing at the window when the door is open?
right next to the window

GimmieTheCoffeeAndNooneDies · 05/07/2019 23:06

Are you going out or staying in because I'm not spending all night holding this door open because you can't be arsed to use your catflap.
Who do you love best, mummy or daddy? it's mummy isn't it?

For fucks sake, what Do you want now?
Are you trying to kill me?
What is this on the floor?
Why did you bite me?

Allergictoironing · 05/07/2019 23:13

Why are you sitting just out of reach STARING at me? (Girlcat)

Will you ever develop any brain cells? (Boycat)

mrswarthog · 05/07/2019 23:16

(FYI my murderbastards are Bengals)
Convos as follows
Did you attack the squirrels? You are NOT allowed to kill squirrels, even grey ones...
OMG How are we supposed to dispose of a dead fox?
Why are there 5 magpies lined up screaming in the garden?
Have you got a Magpie in your mouth?
Why is there a dead pigeon in the dining table?

Twixes · 05/07/2019 23:22

Boycat : can you please get the fuck off the counters?

Girlcat: why do let him steal your treats?

To both: why are you two so bloody cute?

Twixes · 05/07/2019 23:23

To both: how is it possible to look so happy and relaxed? Envy envy emoticon

RickOShay · 05/07/2019 23:24

Are you the most beautiful girl in the world?

Original poster
TheLongRider · 05/07/2019 23:25

Honestly, it's harder than rearing a child. Sometimes you can see what they're thinking before they do it, e.g. "Don't jump on the counter!" Then the cat stalks off giving you the metaphorical finger by flicking its tail.

OP posts:
WhoaBettyWhite · 05/07/2019 23:35

Why do you let the dog lick your butt every day?

Why, after the dog has licked your butt do you think it's ok to trample over my face and present me with your doggy butt?

Yes, I am pretending to be dead, laying in my bed as the smallest movement means no more sleep from me..!!

LadyBahBahBah · 06/07/2019 00:42

London

Just how bad is it?

I'm a northerner bound for southern climes 😳

Original poster
TheLongRider · 06/07/2019 09:08

@LadyBahBahBah. Are you Dick Whittington? Hmm

OP posts:
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 06/07/2019 10:12

To a previous cat.
'Do you really think it's a good idea going for that swan?' It wasn't Grin.
And to the same cat on a different occasion.
'Oi, drop that Moorhen NOW'

MusterTheRohirim · 06/07/2019 10:19

My cat was just scratching at the door and it wasn't properly closed so I shouted, "Push! Just push it, it's open!" and couldn't understand why he wasn't doing what I said 😂

I also wave to my cats from the house when I see them outside.