Things my cat has stolen

[TheLongRider]

I'll start, in no particular order and over many years of cat ownership:-

A side of smoked salmon from a buffet.

A McDonald's Happy Meal toy, we had no children at the time.

Marzipan balls from a Christmas cake.

Sausages from under a lit grill

Meat from the shopping bag while it was bing unpacked.

There's plenty more...!

Mine has learnt how to open the bin and nicks all the rubbish out of it. We have to be careful now what we throw in it! She also jumps in the fridge whenever possible and tries to steal ham. She also will nick food off your plate if you don’t watch her and will steal any food left lying around.

My wedding ring. Then she presented it back to me as a gift, and looked hioeful for a reward!

*hopeful

Mine likes the babies dummies. She takes them when DS spits them out and hides them underneath the settee. Costs us a fortune!

Dreamies
My spot on the bed
My contraceptive pills.
My heart!

Items from the bathroom cupboard (stands on hind legs on sink) - favours anything long and thin, so cotton buds, tweezers etc.

Obsessed with the Apple Pencil for my iPad Pro and makes off with it if I leave it unattended.

The surveyor’s pen when my flat was being valued.

The water from the glass beside my bed.

My heart, and my pillow, apart from that, they couldn’t catch a cold! They aren’t the brightest or most cat like of cats!

Mine are fairly rubbish at this stealing lark. The old one did raid the food rubbish bin the other day for lamb cutlet bones, though with only one tooth I'm not sure what he was going to do with them.

One of mine came trotting in with a raw Dover sole once. It wasn't mine, so must have been stolen from a neighbour's house.
Current one is a good boy, although he does like hair bobbles.

A pheasant from a next door neighbour, my Dad thought he'd actually caught it! The cat couldn't catch a cold.

One of mine once stole a loaded kebab skewer, he got a shock when he tried to exit via the cat flap. -We retrieved and cooked it.-

He also made an attempt to steal a turkey that was defrosting on top of the fridge-freezer, he did the classic leap, missed the top, and skated down legs all splayed out. Total Tom and Jerry.

This cat never did things by half, he once stopped all traffic on the A2 to Kent, it was diverted down our normally quiet residential road, he froze in the centre of the road, fortunately the truck driver just stopped and hooted and my neighbor ran out and scooped him up.

He repaid her by by walking his muddy paws along every horizontal surface in her newly cleaned bathroom and eating a milk pudding she'd made - that furry little sod cost me many a bottle of wine. We both loved the little bastard!

Non food wise - the kitten nabs anything he can move. I spent days looking for a star cutter I was making cards with - not under the settee or the table etc - to eventually find it in an unused cat house. Same with makeup/ pens/ change etc.

My big cat steals socks, dirty or clean. She had a go at a pair of tights from the washing basket the other day.

Food wise the kitten just tends to stick his face in anything I'm eating rather than head off with it, with the exception of sausages. They are just the right shape for feline mouths!!!

Love them both anyway.

Chips, socks and hair bands are the triggers in this house.

Half a hamburger from another persons house
The unused beef joint after Sunday dinner - again from a neighbours house

Wish my two would get up to mischief like this. Lovely though they are, they are a bit boring!

Vegetables from plates and growls if anyone approaches!!

Elastic bands
Babies rattles
Babies dummies
My heart
Dressing gown ties

Hair clips. Hair bands. Ds’ dummies. Dh’s shoelaces. One of my shoes.

All taken into her under the bed cave.

Just food. Eating baked beans from the pan is her favourite. She will eat any food left out and will bite through packaging to get to it!

She’s never brought anything in from outside though

Our first cat, was a prolific hunter and used to catch large birds and eat them under the dining room table, how she got them through the cat door I never knew.
I was used to coming home to a half eaten bird and loads of feathers everywhere but was rather surprised one Sunday to find a leg of lamb under the table -shame she'd thoroughly chewed it 😂

I was at Ms Viques once waiting for her to get ready and she called down to help my self from the box of Heroes next to the sofa. I had one. Then picked out another. The wrapping had little teeth marks on it!
I erm ' challenged ' her about this and learnt that her dear cats both loved nothing more than helping themselves to a hero, and batting it around the sitting room until they decided it was deceased . She said she didn't think the teeth had got through the wrapping and she doesn't like chocolate much anyway so just popped them back in the box. Lovely girl in many other ways.

2 miniature sample tubes of face cream and my lip salve. Never did find them.

Remembered another one, a friend had Burmese thieves and vandals, I mean dear cats. She made two huge and beautiful pies for a choir supper. Unfortunately someone left the utility door open and she found the centre of both pies destroyed. Just the centre, of both.

My menstrual cup. Left it on the bathroom shelf to dry after I cleaned it. Later I saw her running around the house playing with it, using the stem to swing it and throw it up in the air.

And yy dressing gown ties. She has three of them in her lair.