clingy cat advice

[hollinhurst84]

Before I lose the will
I'm home and ill. Went for a lie down. Cat either bounces off my head or over grooms noisy in the doorway because he wants attention
If I shut him out he howls. Continuously and tunelessly. Have given up on the nap and he's trailing around after me shouting constantly
Not hungry, just wants to sit on me and I'm all touched out/sore
Help?

You're not talking to him enough.

I'm trying, honest! I'm all talked/touched out and just want to watch tv and eat but he's sat on the floor howling

Hot water bottle under a fleece blanket?.

He's dulled to a low roar. I chatted over him for 10 mins and then drowned him in catnip he's still shouting at me
He has a teddy heartbeat toy but because it's not his "hooman" he won't go near it when I'm here

Try to adopt how to talk to Siamese.

Answer every single miaow and then try to 'get ahead' in the conversation so that you're driving it. If they're sleeping, wake them up and talk to them. It can be a 'Good boyser' or 'Unh Huh' type comment but, I'm afraid, you have to answer them. Every time.

With Siamese, by the way, shutting them outside of the door is actually a punishment. (.Exclusion from The Presence.) They have a very well developed sense of wrongdoing, so if they've done something wrong, they'll sit quietly and brood about their special sin. If they've done nothing wrong, as far as they know, you'll likely get a 'What's this for now??!!' carry on outside.

Does his show of temperament have an exasperated, querulous quality to it at all?

Occasionally....
The over grooming I have noticed is an attention/comfort thing. So if I'm in bed and trying to sleep he will sit just out of reach and do it or like now while I'm eating tea because I'm not fussing him
When I shut him out last night it was very woe is me noise sort of "owwwwwwww eeeeeee I'm so sad and all alone"
He will not sit anywhere apart from on me. Sitting next to me he will howl and constantly put a paw on me while crying to sit on me
He's definitely part bloody oriental isn't he?!

You'll know that I reckon he's part Siamese. I'd treat him as if he was anyway.

I'm uploading a video... He helpfully did his weirdo shouty noise

Here with sound
https://instagram.com/p/BLt__sKB-tl/

He's comforting his sick human. Be grateful slave.

PS - if it's any consolation, Seniorboy calmed down a great deal (comparatively speaking) when he reached 19.

Listened to the video. He sounds part Burmese. Abandon all hope!

19?! Only a decade to go then
Stable cat battered me with her paw today because I dared to stop stroking her. I'm surrounded by demanding cats

Yep. You're not talking to him as concentratedly as you need to.

He objects to the fact I have to sleep and stop talking to him

Look on it as filling up a reservoir. At the beginning, it's lots of volume/hard work but it soon enough goes to a 'trickle feed'.

And this is the "and what?" face I got after I got swiped by madam today

Well she's a different kettle of fish entirely!

I'd just fling her the occasional side of beef and keep out of her way.

Yes, I often forget she's not Ollie and try to hug her. She does not approve of hugs, humans are slaves for carrying her around and occasional pets

After all that fuss... He slunk off and slept on his own on the sofa

Ah. He'll be feeling depressed and rejected then.

< sob >
My friend adopted a cat and he got a normal one she sleeps in her cat bed and everything

If it makes you feel better the cat was asleep in bed with DH - I went to the loo, so he woke up followed & watched, then went back to bed with DH

Now what was the point of that?

Well you might have been doing something exciting? Or making a snack?

He was making a point, Katymac.

Cats. They macerate you on the swings and then clobber you on the roundabouts.