I feel like a total weirdo...

[BibiBlocksbergv2]

One of my cats started staying out later & later every day (since about end of March) so i walked around the neighbourhood at various times of the day until i found her 'hidey hole'

Turns out she much prefers life with a family about half a mile down the road from me, strolls in, sits on their sofa, purrs like mad & drools her head off (sign of extreme happiness for her)

The family are very nice about being converted into involuntary cat sitters & i'm very grateful to them being so nice to her.

Anyway, since i discovered where she goes i've been collecting her for her meals (after which she runs straigt back to them)

So, tonight i figured i may as well take her dinner with me & feed her round the corner from her new 'abode'

The family said 'come & see where she is' i walked in & her ladyship is sprawled out on their sofa, beckoning for me to put the bowl down :)

I feel like a giant weirdo now, turning up at their door every day & now feeding my cat in their garden & walking home without her.

She is fickle though, one minute she loves one environment & the next she comes back home, think she's part tortie :)

Anyway, i seem to be in the mood for self flagellation, pls come & agree & marvel at my weirdness on this sunny sunday evening

Give them some money for cat food etc - or some actual cat food etc - and see how it goes.

They sound like very nice people.

I deeply suspect my cat is up to this sort of shenanigans. I have not however discovered where he goes though.

cozietosie - that's the next logical step i think, giving them the cat food, so far i've handed over a nice bottle of wine & some sweets for their kids. Hoping to soften them up for actually feeding her themselves i think (i will supply food)

Trouble is, her ladyship has exact requirements, only tuna & prawn flavour cat food will do, sprinkled with defrosted fresh prawns (brine rinsed off under tap) chopped up & topped with dreamies......

Poor people don't know what they've got coming......

Better go & fetch her for her bedtime, she gets 'kicked out' overnight so reluctantly follows me home & sulks on her royal window sill cushion for the night.

Wish i could find someone to pamper me to this extent :)

A long discussion with them certainly sounds in order - especially if their DCs might be getting attached to her. (From my own experience, I'd rather have a cat coming and going than a neighbour dropping in at least once a day whether I was in PJs or not. You need to resolve it, really. )

Yes, i agree, have talked to them re my being willing to let her go if that's what smudge wants, if they're willing (have offered to still pay for her food & vet bills if they do)

The family tell me they are happy to have her as a 'part-time' cat atm.

Thing is, by letting her in all day they must also surely know that this is likely to end up with all getting attached to each other?

Time will tell, thanks for replies, night :)

Cats can be massively entitled, awkward dicks. And I do say this as someone who sort of happily overthinks my cats' every whim.

still awake :) @ rubbish mantra.

I love being a slave to my lot but i do feel 'used' at this time of year when the feline population does the equivalent of their 'kids playing out act' - ie 'can me & my 15 mates get a drink & some sweets? Please please please please??????

And then they eff off for hours on end & overnight!

Prefer when i can pretend they properly love me cos they're snuggled up to my various extremities between meals :)

...can me & my 15 mates get a drink & some sweets?...

I know what you mean - and what Mantra means by 'entitled'. I even get it with Seniorboy - 'Can you make the sun shine for a bit, Mum? I fancy some rays!' I guess I prefer to think of it as a deep trust that - somehow - Mum will always make things better. (I could be kidding myself. )

I suppose if both families are content with the situation.........? It would certainly ease the issue of cat-sitters if you needed to go off for a little.

I'm sniggering away to myself at this. I've only shared my living space had a cat for close to a year but I am really stating to see the entitled dick thing

Got woken at 4.40 this morning by a loud miaow. This from the cat who'd been AWOL for quite a considerable amount of time.

Not sure of why he felt he needed to wake me but I got the feeling he expected me to move over so he could sleep where I'd dare to think I could.

...but I got the feeling he expected me to move over so he could sleep...

Well......Yes. Of course. (Or food, or love or .....something.) It's the way of things. )

MCat will follow me, then fling himself under my bum, as I'm sitting down. A loud complaint noise follows if I'm uncaring enough to sit on him. Because I should have known, that's where he was planning to sit.

I agree with MCat with the 'under bum flinging' RubbishMantra - if that's what he always does then its evidently part of his hoomin training regime for you. Susoect it will continue until you automatically perform the correct manouvre :)

Haven't gone to get Smudge tonight, can't remember who said it now but its not sustainable for me to ring the neighbours door bell every day brandishing a cat bowl full of food.

Figure she'll either make her own way back when she's hungry enough or I'll
get her a bit later for bedtime.

Now worried that i'll seem like an uncaring shit & a bit unstable in the head.....one extreme to the next with me.

Drop them a quick note in the door saying that you're trying a new tactic and advising them what's going on?

yes, i could do that cozietoesie, still worried they'll think i'm a 'crazy cat lady' who can't stop going on about her cat but they kind of need to know don't they in case they wonder whether i've 'dumped' her on them completely.

Unless i'm just mahoosively overthinking this whole situation, as usual :)

Probably better to just tell them to hoosh her out at a certain time, better for them than you going around and knocking on their door daily

Well they might think you're a CCL - but on the other hand, they're letting her sprawl all over their sofa so they can't really be too too accusatory.

Thank you both, that was my next thought after i hit send ie they're playing they're part in this by letting her in.

Then again, the mother did say that they want to have their doors & windows open in this warm weather plus they have 3 kids going in & out.

If they kicked the cat out at 6 for example, she'd find a way to get back in unless they kept all doors & windows sealed.

Presume its a case of 'pick your battles' - trying to keep smudge out of where she wants to be can very quickly turn into a farce complete with Benny Hill Music :)

I'd arm myself with a decent bottle and have a chat to them. I had something of the same with The Lodger (who had a great fan a few doors away) but that was a little different in that the woman of the house would happily have taken him in full time and immediately! (I thought she wold go into mourning when he decided to move in with us.)

That's true.

Well if you do go around check if my cat's there. He's gone AWOL again!!

Already done the bottle of wine/card/sweets for the kids routine. They're not having any more of my wine budget this month (in the nicest possible way)

Another thought also occurs - she's not getting any thinner on her one meal a day, in fact she looked decidedly portly yesterday so she must be getting food from 'somewhere'

WixingMords - are you the poster whose cat was taken to bed by the brazen neighbour last night?

They'll be feeding her of course! Look at the timing - she's there while the family are eating all their meals and snacks. You telling me she's not getting a few 'scraps' at least?

No that wasn't me.

I have honestly no clue where he goes. I did post on Saturday as he'd be gone since Friday, asking how the heck I could managed to get it that he came home at a sensible hour/stayed in for the night

I went out looking for him on Saturday evening, then ended up going around to a house of someone I knew who i met on the street, as I walked back home WixingKitty suddenly appeared out of now where running around the green (that I was crossing) meaowing. 'twas an emotional reunion!!

He come in last night just before 5am. He's out of hand I tell you!!

I'd say they are definitely feeding her!! They really are terrors cats aren't they.

Yes, terrors, entitled ones at that, the lot of them :)

Just tried to eat my dinner when in walks milo from four doors down & proceeds to wash his arse in that really wet noisy manner some cats have, can't stand noisy eaters at the best of times :) :)

Ah, summer, i don't see my own lot but the rest of the neighbourhood nosy cat population decides my patio doors are a virtual Kitty Centre Parcs....

Wixing - bet he was around close by all the time, they so often are, hear you calling & think 'yup, hear ya, busy, laters' until they realise 'laters' can be a long time indeed :)

Lovely to see that others are also out there combing their neighbourhoods for their kitty's, thought my NDN & I were the only ones :)

Off to collect her ladyship for bedtime in a minute.

The more i think about this situation the more ludicrous it seems.

Composing note to put through 'part-time owners' door - would it be reasonable to stick some of smudge's food & a bowl in a bag & ask them to give her breakfast & dinner at theirs in future then i collect her at night (she's always outside when they go to bed so wouldn't have to knock)

Feel like writing 'do you want this cat or not'??? :)

I think you need to decide what it is you want and what is best for Her Ladyship. For example, you said that you'd noticed that she was a bit portly - have they noticed? And have they - or more importantly, their DCs - clicked that cats shouldn't have certain foods and likely not a great deal of table/fridge scraps?

I don't think this is something that can be dealt with by note, I'm afraid - although you may be able to start the ball rolling by one. I think you need to talk to them about it in the final analysis.