Diary of Thomas Parker, a very handsome black cat

[4c4good]

Hello all

Well I am liking this new place exceptionally well.

The Food Lady is coming up with the goods regularly - and by 'goods' I don't mean just your normal run of the mill stuff - I'm talking Tuna In Brine here, people - and bits of raw beef, even a morsel of smoked salmon. Yumm Oh!

The training is also coming along nicely though it is early days. I have a very loud and, I believe, melodious voice and I like to use it in training the Food Lady. I DO NOT like the vacuum cleaner so I allowed her to use the infernal machine and then explained at the top of my voice and for several minutes how very annoying it is. I aim to have her using a dustpan and brush only before too long. Neither will I tolerate being confined in'my' room. Outrageous idea.

I have also had a big adventure. On my second night here I tried the cat flap and to my surprise it was open. I stayed out all night and had a rare old time marking my new neighbourhood. Food Lady looked very sad though as I watched her searching and calling for me in the morning and I felt sad as water came out of her eyes when she spotted me. I will be more respectful of her feelings in future. The cat flap is locked shut for now anyway. I only have myself to blame.

Saving the very best news to last, there is a beautiful girl cat here with fur like soft velvet,enormous round green eyes and a very sexy voice, even when hissing.

I think she likes me as she allowed me to sleep on the big bed with Food Lady last night.

That's all for now.

purrrr

Tommy

Well Tommy I hope your training of your Food Lady goes well, and the beautiful girl cat stops hissing at you soon

My cat's diary would go like this:

Thankfully mummy had remembered to put my breakfast in that timer dish last night, yesterday she had forgotten and I did try not to wake them up but I had to chomp on some bubble wrap in their bedroom at nearly 8 o'clock as I was mega starving!

I have my little snuggle up on the sofa with mummy before she heads off to work. Then I like to look out all the windows before playtime with daddy!

Mummy finished work early today to catch up on 'paperwork' whatever that is! Good job she did come home, as this time daddy had forgotten to give me my dinner! It really isn't good enough!

Since then I have been very busy on in my lovely shoe box. I will admit I have to make a few adjustments to it, but I do love it very much!!

(Somewhere I have a really funny thing about the diary of a cat, and new years resolutions, hilarious!)

Dear MyCat

Purr-leased to meet you.

I have some concerns about your post. You are content to play in a shoebox ?

Are you of age or still a kitten? If you are of age, are you on Facefeline by any chance? I will stop by and www if so. ( wee on your wall)

Also please be careful and take it from me that the training cannot start too soon. Calling them M and D is all very well - but do please remember what the end goal is.

Tommy

How rude of me, I did not introduce myself properly! My name is Misty and I am 4 years old. I am a spoilt moggy, I stay indoors, with my previous owner I got out and was lost for 2 weeks so I get frightened when out.

Shoe boxes are FUN!! All boxes are fun! The smaller the better, I love to try and get in them, even chocolate boxes!

Get your owners to get you a toy called a 'tunnel' Great fun! I have trained mine to dangle toys at one end for me to run through, and sometimes I hide in there and whoosh out and make them jump! It is especially good when they are carrying something, or when it is dark!

There is a youngster in the house, well, she is nearly 15 years old in human years. She has long hair and I like to play with it!

Oh, do your owner keep taking photos of you? I believe 'she' has put one on here of me. Sometimes I don't mind the camera, other times, y'know, I am just not in the mood and am a bit grumpy. She puts them on the internet somewhere with lots of other photos of cats!

Ahh hello Misty!

I shall ask her to look into this tunnel of which you speak.

And I take back my comments about The BOx!

I'll be along to wee on your wall very soon!

Tommy

Another good thing to train your owners is playing fetch. I use rolled up bits of tin foil (more supplies arrive at Easter!) and drinking straws! I do have a 'thing' about chewing at plastic, so I love to chew them and make the throw them around for me to pick up and take back to them.

Oh Tommy, I hear you are not well, I am sending some head butts and chirps to make you feel better! xx

Hello readers!

I am now a much perkier Tommy Parker! I have had a very nasty head cold and have had tablets every day. My breathing has been as bad as a consumptive victorian poet, according to Food Lady. I don't like the tablets much but there are only a couple more left and I am being very brave as well as handsome.

I love this new place and hope I can stay here forever. Lady cat has quite fallen for my charms. The same cannot be said for the two other enormous hairy 4 leggers who are here every weekend. At the moment. I have plans in paw. One ignores me, the other clealry hates me but I stand my ground and will not be bullied.

I am finding my paws and having a few mishaps. I upset a huge bottle of bleach all over the bathroom floor, lost my collar after three days despite being still an indoor cat ( not for much longer though); fished chicken bones out of the eco-waste and sucked them clean; and enjoyed sharpening my claws on the Food Lady's new sofas. Much more satisfying than the scratching post things that resident cat uses.

Yawwwwn

Time for a snooze...

Purple - your kitty is gorgeous! (FL)

Boy am I glad to find some like minded felines here!

Allow me to introduce myself;

I am Bob. Also known as Sir Bobalot according to the middle sized human and Bobble from the tiny one. Oh and for some unfathomable reason I am called Bobra Striesland by my FL's brother.

I also enjoy a good box. I wistfully remember my favourite ever which was helpfully filled with soft cotton wool to cushion me after I destroyed the funny pom pom figures included for entertainment. Apparently, the middle human was displeased I had discovered her 'snowscene homework'. I think it was supposed to be a surprise for me for Christmas day. Still, at least she didn't cry as much as she did after the 'Easter chick massacre'..

My owner also takes photographs of me Misty - she has some on display here too. I note that she lacks pictures of her offspring which pleases me as I'm often unsure of my place in the hierarchy here...

Anyway, I must take my 25th nap. I had an exhausting night teaching the FL that supermarket own biscuits will be regurgitated upon bedroom carpets in the early hours. I think she got the message when she produced the 'extortionate' kind that I like.

Meow for now

Bob

PS Misty, just seen your photo and my you are adorable! We have a similar look about us, imagine the litter! Do you go for the younger Tom?

aRGGHH HISSS NNNNNRRRRRREEEOOOOOOWWWWW

Ahem

Misty is mine. Have you not read my wee on her wall on facefeline? MMM?

I may sans balls, but I am big and beautiful. And I have a wonderful singing voice.

Remember that, er... Bob...

bobalot!!

Hahahahahahaharrnghhhh

Boxes.... Off to look into those....

oh
Raaaaapture

I have just shared some scraps from the big white cold box with Beautycat.

Not just that but they were scraps of the FL's two leggers' whole garlic butter chicken.

I am in paradise and don't even care my balls have gone now.

grrooannnnneeeow

snurfle, hic

Tommy

opps! How rude of me!

I apologise

Seriously though I don't really know much feline etiquette, FL won't let me leave the house because that one time I did escape I was lost for 4 days and now she's gone all over protective on me. Doesn't she know I was having a grand old time wooing the locals? Anyway, it wasn't my fault. That girl cat from next door kept sitting on the window sill taunting me with her, um.... freedom.

Ohh Garlic chicken sounds good. Stupid FL is something called a vegetarian. I think it means she's some kind of tree hugger?? I do really like the corn on the cobs she cooks. And those pasta twirly things she always drops on the floor when she empties the pan. I've been attempting to trip her whilst she carries the pan back from the sink but she's surprisingly agile for a 2-footed one.

When you get board of boxes, Might I suggest attempting to scale the heights of the washing airer. It's more tricky then it looks. Especially when FL has tried to hang wet stuff on it. But it's pretty easy to remove them really :)

Happy singing!

Bob

Oh MyFriendly Cat!
So - you' ve.....crossed to the other side?
Oh my!

No not that way.
I am beeyootifull and am liking your mashed tatie with garlic butter Chicken juices.....

Night all. i have wooed and lost (just practising)
Ahhhheeeeeahhhooooh errrr snurfff
I love you, BeautyCat
xxxxx

head butts to all<

I think I need to say that I am a boy cat! My name is a bit girly, but my first owner gave it me and my new mum and dad didn't want to change it! I don't want any naughty business going on!! I do have a feminine side though, I love fluffy things and they tell me I am as soft as sh*t!

Well, today I managed to snaffle a bit of cheese!! :o Cheese butties were being made this morning for work and school and some little gratings fell on the floor....well, it would be a shame to leave them wouldn't it?!

Tommy, I am glad you are better, tablets are horrible aren't they?! I sometimes spit them out but usually mum is quite a dab hand at getting me to take them in one go.

Bob, I used to love climbing the clothes airer! We moved last year and the thing is shut away in a sort of cupboard thing so I don't get to go on it any more! One of my many enjoyable pastimes is to chomp on plastic, and there is so much of it about! Crisp packets in the bin, wrappers on magazines, peppers in the veg rack! I am obsessed!! They had to move where the crisps are stored as I kept making lovely holes in the packets and for some reason they didn't like it. Mum keeps putting bits of paper in plastic wallet things and leaves them lying about, so when she is in bed I go for it and chomp away!!

Well, daddy has his sore back and is lying down and I need some more sleep so I shall supervise him!

Oh Misty old boy, so sorry about the error. Please forgive me - you are very handsome, just like me. It's hard to tell just from pictures, without having a good ol' sniff!

I have had a good day today, hanging out with my new love. And the tablets are nearly gone now thank cat, and I only have a tiny snuffle left.

There are no airers in this house - Food Lady hangs her outer fur ( which is very smooth and hairless) on a wodden device that winds up to the ceiling - way beyond paws' reach

I've found lots of other stuff to play with though!

Toodle pip!

Tommy

Wooden, that is.

I was dictating too quickly for FL to keep up.

Yes we need to be able to sniff each other, mind you I have only seen other cats, some come into the car park I see out of the big people's bedroom window and we have a little chat!

Well, I can understand your food lady's caution if you stayed out for 4 nights. That must have been one hell of a bender, if you don't mind me saying.

I made an error on my second night here and I was very lucky to find my way home. But this is 'home' now - I know how it smells and I am sure I will be able to find my way back here again.

It is lovely to feel the sun on one's fur, and the earth beneath one's paws, and be able to sniff other cats' bottoms.

My food lady was the same with beautycat who was kept in for several months - foodlady was worried beautycat would run away - but why should she? this place here is cat heaven.... So now she comes and goes as she pleases and I will be doing the same myself I hope soon too.

Tommy

(PKM speaking - only just twigged what FL stands for!

Daddy fashioned me a new box! It is one very much like what A4 paper would be stored in, but it had bags of rice in it from their fave shop Aldi. Daddy popped down the high side, just how I like it and I am now having 40 winks

Before I go, do any of you have a snake toy? I tie mine up in knots, I do it in secret so they don't really know what I get up to with it, and I like to drag it around and give it to them as a present!!

Oh my Lord, you don't get this madness in The Doghouse

well, wait till you hear this!

This afternoon, FL came home early, she keeps doing that! Today it was to do some baking for her team at that place she goes to every day. Anyway, she is sitting on one of my her beds taking off her boots. So, up I jump to chirp and say hello and as she took one off she managed to bop me on the nose with it!!

I did get lots of cuddles, told FM and little one ALL about it, and got a tiny bit of ham later one! :o