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The doghouse

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Original poster

Do you take your dog to other people's houses?

27 replies

hostinthemaking · 30/11/2015 08:04

Just wondered that exactly. This is a deal breaker for pil coming for Christmas dinner. They will be out the house for 3 hours and live 5 minutes away. We have other guests coming who don't particularly like dogs. Pil go out for lunch for longer afaik don't take ddog with them?

OP posts:

atticusclaw2 · 30/11/2015 08:06

I would think it very odd if people brought their dog to my house.

Will your PIL really only be there for 3 hours though? Do they realise they're on a time limit? Maybe they're envisaging being with you all day?

willconcern · 30/11/2015 08:09

We take our dog for Xmas, but we're going for 4 days, and have asked first, not demanded. For a day, we'd leave him.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 30/11/2015 08:11

We take our dog to very close friends, our parents, my nans etc. But all these people also have dogs... I wouldn't take him anywhere he didn't have an open invitation.

Fabellini · 30/11/2015 08:17

Only if I was going somewhere to stay, and he'd been invited too, otherwise I'd just arrange for my friend to dog sit like she usually does - actually, even if he was invited I probably wouldn't, as he isn't great at recall and could get lost in a strange place....and he still has a tendency to pee when he's somewhere new
I definitely wouldn't take him somewhere just for a few hours - especially when it's so close to home. If they're worried, surely they could just pop back to their house to check on the dog?

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 30/11/2015 08:21

3 hours is because they get a taxi and usually book it to come back at that time. Last year I told them not to bring ddog after their son asked- it's his dog who lives with them but he doesn't. Anyway they turned up with ddog and wondered why I was upset. As a backstory we did have a dog who wasn't allowed in their house as ddog and ours didn't get on. Unfortunately she passed away young and I suppose it feels like an injustice. We went to their house and left her at home and never asked if we could bring her or we can't come.

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 30/11/2015 08:24

Only if I know she's welcome.

Id be happy leaving her home for three hours. If going out all day then If she can't come in the house we're visiting she stays in the car. I have an estate so plenty of space, blankets, food. Obviously not in the summer but I would at this time of year. Put her coat on her and pop out frequently to check on her/walk her.

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 30/11/2015 08:25

I should add when our dog was alive pil came for Christmas dinner sans ddog as I explained he didn't get on with ours.

OP posts:

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 30/11/2015 08:27

So they obviously feel they can leave the dog for three hours if they have to.

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 30/11/2015 08:27

This all is good advice. However they will just take offence if I say ddog can't come. DH has already said he will ask me!

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WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 30/11/2015 08:37

Tell them another guest has a phobia/allergy. And get Dh to tell them! They're his parents.

imwithspud · 30/11/2015 09:04

Pil bring their dog here and she's not a bad dog at all but she's very needy and always tries to jump up onto the sofas (which are fairly new), yesterday they came round and the dog was rubbing herself all over the rug (which is also fairly new). We always have to put a bowl of water down too which one of us will inevitably step in/knock over if we forget about it. I admit I'm probably being a bit precious though.

I dunno, I'm not really a dog person and I can't understand why they can't just leave her at home on occasion, they leave her alone when they go to work and other non dog places so it's not like they can't leave her. I don't have the heart to tell them not to bring her as I know they would think I were being unreasonable.

If your pil won't listen then don't allow them to visit. It's your house afterall.

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 30/11/2015 09:25

Thanks I am probably making assumptions as to what PIl will think ie I am being unreasonable. Also wonder if they really want to come or if ddog is distraction. DH already bit upset I said no as he has to tell them no now. I did say tell them another guest unsure about ddog. I don't see even as a dog lover how their ddog takes precedence over their dgs and why they would refuse to come if ddog can't!

OP posts:

mrslaughan · 01/12/2015 10:09

It is the season of goodwill........

No I don't take our dog to peoples houses unless he is invited, but you don't say dog is badly behaved, or that the other guest is petrified about dogs, just unsure.....you seem to be using this to get back at them over the treatment of your dog, it all reads as quite petty and that - to me - you are focusing on all the wrong things.....but that is just my humble opinion.....and you are making your husband do your dirty work. Its your problem - you own it. you deal with it, or practise the season of goodwill and look for another solution.

EasyToEatTiger · 01/12/2015 10:52

Occasionally we have other peoples' dogs to stay. It really depends on whether you like the other person enough to clear up after their dog. It's quite stressful for the dogs and for the people, so generally, no, I don't like other peoples dogs in my house. And no, I don't take my dogs to other peoples houses. It's hell.

Hatethis22 · 01/12/2015 10:58

Only to my parents' house when we stay for a few days.

Three hours at home should be fine for an adult dog.

LyndaNotLinda · 01/12/2015 11:03

I do but only if he's invited and only if we're going to be there overnight. I certainly wouldn't bring him for 3 hours.

My sister however either insists on bringing her (enormous and untrained) dogs at Xmas and leaving them in the car (because they wreak havoc) and/or saying she has to rush home to get back to them. But she and her husband work almost full time and leave them alone for 8 hours 4 days a week

KoalaDownUnder · 01/12/2015 11:10

I think they are being ridiculous.

I live alone with my one, massively spoiled dog, and I wouldn't hesitate to leave him at home for 3 hours. The dog will be fine, he'll probably sleep!

It's just common sense / manners. You don't bring your dog to someone else's home unless you know they're totally fine with it.

IrianofWay · 01/12/2015 11:14

Yes but only if there are happy to have him there so I always ask first. if the answer was no I'd be happy to leave him for a few hours.

Florin · 01/12/2015 11:35

I always ask first but if someone wants us to stay over we either have to bring our dog or not go. However she has a crate which she is very happy with so can spend time in there to stop her getting under people's feet at certain times etc. However for 3 hours I wouldn't bother taking her particularly if I knew she wasn't wanted, more hassle than it's worth. She would be fine at home for up to 5 hours.

CaptainKit · 01/12/2015 17:00

Depends on where I'm going. If I'm visiting either of my parents' houses then I take my dogs (I have two) as they get on with the dogs already in those houses. If I'm going to my best friend's house then I leave the dogs as mine wouldn't get on with her dog. I would, and have, taken mine to her mother's house though! People close to me understand that it's a package deal; the dogs go where I go where possible.

I'd have an issue leaving my dogs for 3 hours, simply because one is young, easily bored and thus can be destructive.

However, if someone said I couldn't bring my dogs over, and it was someone family, and who I was fairly close to (i.e. not a distant cousin) then I'd accept it if I couldn't bring the rabid hounds, but would probably feel a little put out, and would be distracted whilst there, wondering if the dogs were ok or if they were destroying my belongings/were behaving for whoever I had left them with. I do accept that this is a fairly unreasonable/unusual though.

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 01/12/2015 20:26

Thanks I appreciate replies. I know my judgement might be clouded ie the way our dog was treated. It is probably a symptom not the cause. However we feel what we feel. Ddog is quite exciteable but he is left on his own when pil go out so must settle down. It irks me but if it means harmony Ddog can come. I just found it odd that anyone would think it ok to take their dog to another person's house as we never did. My family live an hour away and we just went for dinner to theirs and then back for dog. Didn't occur to me to even ask to bring her as I wouldn't want to put them on the spot.

OP posts:

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 18/10/2016 08:07

Sorry to resurrect an old thread however update on this situation. Last year PIL came sans dog but only because BIL had him as he said he felt unwell and stayed at home and had taken dog to stay with him. We know realise that he didn't come as he was miffed dog wasn't invited.

This all came out in a drunken rage by MIL amongst other revelations against us. Clearly she had been nursing grievance since the year before last when they turned up with dog after I expressly said that another guest was unsure and not to. bring dog. Things have now come to a head as last night she said she and BIL had felt like walking out on that occasion due to the treatment of the dog! This year we had decided to go out and thus avoid situation. However everywhere fully booked but MIL reluctant and had said it was too expensive. Should add BIL working xmas day this year so obv can't take dog.

Therein lies the dilemma we have guests coming as going to stay at home but MIL has decided that she isn't coming as dog isn't welcome. She hadn't asked that dog could come just presented fair accompli and announced in a torrent of abuse. Huge backstory but upshot is DH has said to her she was disrespectful and didn't listen when we told her not to bring dog. She denied this and even suggested that other guests should put with it! Apparently she only leaves dog for an hour and a half for her daily lunches but this is untrue. I suggested they come for an hour and half then as it's obv a contensious issue and not even about dog. About the backstory MIL favours BIL and he is encouraging situation, we haven't seen BIL since NEw Year day at MIL and he and BIL have a purely textual relationship. The crux of matter is DH put it to MIL that she was putting dog above seeking DGC as they refuse to visit/disclaimer there had been no invitation for is to attend her house on xmas day!

I realise the situation is not about dog but about what he represents and dog comes before DGC. MIL said she put DGC first but DH said she didn't show it and said he was finished after way MIL had abused me and he calmly got up and left. We all followed and MIL didn't apologise. I find it's very situation even as a dog lover that MIL is engineering this and trying to manipulate things to how she and BIL want them.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 18/10/2016 09:38

We only take ours to my mums, mil's and a close dog owning friends house
Both my mum and mil have specifically said that ddog is more than welcome, I don't think mil is keen as she doesn't like big dogs but knows it makes thing easier for us.
Whether to take your dog depends on individual circumstances nd I would never assume that I could unless he was invited - I would never ask.
For example despite him being welcome at dog owning friends house friend can't bring her dog here as we have cats and her dog is a terrier that is cat reactive. Friend is fine with this and I only take ddog there if she specifically invites him, I never assume.
If we need to go somewhere and can't take him we make other arrangements, doggy daycare or holiday pet sitter and if that fails we don't all go.
This is how normal dog owners behave!!

Original poster

hostinthemaking · 18/10/2016 10:30

The key point Hoppingreen is normal dog owners! Thanks for reply.
We'll see what happens but as I said the backstory is as if MIL is looking for an excuse not to come. Her loss.

OP posts:

atticusclaw2 · 18/10/2016 10:33

They live five minutes away. They could go and check on the dog for 20 minutes and come back if its that much of an issue.

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