EMMERDALE: I'm an Emmerdalian get me out of here - NO SPOILERS

[JaneJeffer]

Who's leaving next?

I can’t wait for her to find out what David the cocklodger has done 😁

Ryan is going to realise about the baby

Get that plunger ready Charity

Yet more people leaving

the end credits might as well play Ghost Town

Suzy: How long since you've been out with Ange?
Vanessa: I've never seen her before.

🤣🤣🤣

So a woman in her forties with a share in a veterinary practice, a child and house decided to leave everything behind and move to Canada within a few hours. And her girlfriend gets a job too. It's so realistic. Amazing.

And when Vanessa was initially listing reasons why she couldn't go to Canada she didn't even mention Johnny but she mentioned Suzy 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am already dreading how heartbroken Charity is going to be when she finds out about Mack and Chloe.

Chas lying yet again when she said she told Chloe it wasn't Moira. She bloody threw Moira under the bus to Chloe.

They can't bring Chas back from this. I know they're going to play the grief card or she'll have a breakdown like when she stabbed Diane before but it won't wash with the viewers.

Why is every couple potentially breaking up on Emmerdale ? It's baffling

What does Chloe do for money ? Who pays the rent etc stupid storyline

Everybody is either breaking up and/or leaving, There were few enough characters that we cared about before so there are going to be even fewer now.
Charity and Mack are such a good couple together - why bring in the stupid story of him sleeping with Chloe AND her being pregnant.
I have a suspicion of where the David storyline is going to lead.

I have the horrible thought that the Mackenzie story is being timed for Vanessa's return and they're going to put her and Charity back together.

I hope not!! i was hoping Vanessa would not return along with Kerry! 😆please keep Kerry away and Amy while they are at...

I can't believe how bad the maternity leave stories are. They have months to think of something and a last minute job on a cruise ship and another in Canada is what they came up with.

Yes echoes of the Bernice exit story on Classic. That was another cruise ship job wasn't it?

Jail. Jail for Kerry and Amy. They can shiv someone while in there so they never get out

as far as I am aware soapland has never had a spontaneous human combustion so Kerry/Naomi + coats

an abducted by aliens storyline is no more ridiculous than some of the shite they are coming out with

eaten by a rabid pig

sepsis from a manky unsterilised manicure tool

David can be bobbited by Victoria, no less than he deserves, the manchild cocklodging wanker, then leave to be a porn star in LA

Choe deserves a magnificent send off. Will get my thinking hat on.

Chloe gets a job playing Elizabeth I at the Tower of London.

Love your list @FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge

Speaking of Tudors, Max Parker has a role as Henry VIII in a new series on Netflix. He also has beautiful hair.

No no no!

Yes!! Or Mary Queen of Scots.

departure guaranteed permanent after reenactment, tragic mistake where gardener mistakenly leaves his axe in the wrong place 🤣🤣

shitty week so taking out my rewenge on soap characters mwahahahaha

i would be very sad if that happened too @PrincessScarlett

tragic mistake where gardener mistakenly leaves his axe in the wrong place
oh dear

Also, why do characters always leave and go abroad (unless they go to prison)? Noone ever moves to London, Birmingham or Cornwall.

Let's be right - there will never ever be a happy ending for Charity. Her car crash of a life is central to the drama. Likewise Kim.

In other news, I am developing a theory that Max in Corrie has been observing the acting and speech style of Mackenzie. It goes:

Stop. Head down but look up at fellow actor. Paste enigmatic and inappropriate grin on mush. Say your. Lines with unaccountable. And mistimed pauses between. The words. Emphasise wrong words. Await awards.