Yes. Shirley’s the one who deserves Schaden’s pitchforks
I have plenty of pitchforks.
I have a contract with a pitchfork factory.
If people would like customised pitchforks with "DIE, POSTER OF SPOILERS", or "THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR THOSE WHO POST SPOILERS" or similar engraved on the handle, then just let me know. They are a little more expensive, but are hand-crafted, unique pieces that you will keep in the family for generations.
#heirloompitchforks