Home and Away era Hanging out at Salt with Dean

[SleepingStandingUp]

New thread for H&A chatter natter. No spoilers on this one pls

But but but.... Not Lance.

No, definitely not Lancelot. I won't allow it. If they try & pull any such stunt I shall board a plane immediately, fly over there & put them all on the naughty step to think about their bad behaviour while I write the scripts explaining how the whole thing was one of Tori's crazy pregnancy dreams & actually everyone knows Dylan Carter's dead, the gang that killed Robbo's family are in prison & it's just before Jabbo's wedding. Tori will shake her head, get her wedding outfit on & go regale Lancelot with her ridiculous dream. He'll find it both hilarious & charming & they'll fall in love in that instant.

Only when I've finished writing the scripts will the usual writers be allowed off the naughty step. Then they'll have to write a full apology to all the actors for wasting their time, the fans for upsetting us & Lance, the character, for defaming his, erm, character.

I'll be there with you AGnu, I'll time the minutes on the naughty step

And while you’re busy scriptwriting I shall wander off into the sunset with Dean...mwahaha!!!

Just beware the sunset being on a beach with sad music. I'd hate for one of you to get written out.

Can we bring (long haired) Ash back please whilst we're improving the show?

why is Irene's trial taking so long? when Brax was in court it would all be done in an episode.

Yes to the return of long-haired Ash. And Dr Nate, please (puppy dog eyes)...

Irene's trial is taking a long time because this is An Important Social Message in the time of #MeToo.

Fair play to them, when Bella stated so firmly that Tommy was a rapist, I was impressed that they'd actually let her use the word because TPTB can be quite cautious around it and that's part of the wider social problem - the silence and hesitation around speaking up about any sexual assault, and the embarrassment associated with it. I thought it was a good message to send: not to feel shame at stating these things clearly and out loud.

I’m with @AGnu! The writer might have a little rebellion starting here #Tori@Lance4eva

@ChoccyJules Dreadfully sorry but just as you & my Dean are driving away you discover that there's a problem with the brakes on his car & you swerve into the "Welcome to Summer Bay" sign. You're both ok, but it transpires that you're actually wanted elsewhere for the robbery-gone-wrong murder you committed just before you arrived in the Bay. The police found your DNA while investigating the crash.

Dean's a bit battered & bruised but, don't worry, I'll take care of him. The car's brakes were just wear & tear from the fast & furious way Dean drives. He really should take his car into the garage to get checked more regularly... You'd have thought he'd know better!

Irene falls apart a bit after the court case & doesn't feel safe in her own home. Heath returns, without Bianca & the kids, to stay with her for a bit until she regains her confidence. While he's there, Ash comes to visit him & discovers that Alf is starting to struggle with the heavy lifting at the bait shop so decides to stick around & help out.

Can't decide if I like new doctor or not but I suppose she can re-arrive to cover Tori's actual mat. leave. While she's in charge they lose one or 2 unknown doctors & she recruits an old friend from when she was doing the flying doctors 6 months ago. Imagine everyone's surprise when Dr Nate rides into town again...

Any more old characters I need to bring back?

Nah I'm happy with that, y'all just need to keep your mits off MY Ash. Cos Ash is helping out and Leah has moved in with Justin, Alf suggests Ash moves in to the house (cos I don't want to have sex in a caravan)

Hmm... Trouble with that is that then Roo & Ash will be spending a lot of time together... Bumping into each other coming out of the shower...

Tbf I'd wish a hot younger man for Roo, I think she's due a decent one. I actually wanted her to end up with Ben when it looked like Maggie might die

Anyway, currently 7 months pregnant with twins so she'd be doing me a favour short term. Once he knows they're his, he'll marry me on the beach and we'll live happily ever after...

Ok, Ash & Roo can have a fling for a bit before a heavily pregnant woman turns up in the diner asking if anyone knows an Ash... You get to know each other for the sake of the twins & realise you're actually madly in love, beach wedding, etc.

Works for me!!

I always weirdly though Colby and Roo would work for a no string fling

I'm still not convinced it's Lancelot... Not-Lance wasn't fatally wounded... & Who called it in? There were only the paramedics on scene when they arrived, weren't there? Maybe they shot him to make it look realistic & then called the ambulance to save him. The main guy is making it clear that he considers basically everyone expendable so I wouldn't put it passed him to shoot one of his own to try & keep him undercover. Once he's recovered, maybe he'll be back on the case. I just don't see why Lancelot would swap to "protecting" Tori if they were more interested in taking Jazzy. Surely he'd have wanted to stay close to them to monitor what's happening.

I did wonder if shooting Scott was a set up, and agree he's certainly OK with expendable

Jazzy just needs the opportunity for a foot race. We've seen her running so often she would surely have a good chance. Not against a bullet obvs

Willow was a bit self centered tonight. Reenie is facing the clink and Willow started bleating to Mack about how she's going nowhere in her life

Irene’s Last Supper was a bit... under-attended, wasn’t it? Where was Roo? Alf? Even John would have made more sense than Mack...

I noticed that too, @CurbsideProphet... I wouldn’t say Willow’s life “crisis” trumps Jazzy being kidnapped (they all seem remarkably calm about this “oh poor Jazzy, but anyway, back me...” I’d hope my mates would be a bit more distraught if I went missing 😤) or Irene potentially losing her house, going to jail etc.
And Mac barely knows Reenie I guess she was there as future support for Bells.

Yeah, they’re all way too calm about Jas being kidnapped by A CRIMINAL GANG WHO HAVE ALREADY MURDERED A YOUNG MOTHER AND HER TWO CHILDREN! Like, these aren’t exactly the River Boys, this is serious stuff.

How was Irene surprised that she was found guilty? I completely sympathise with her but she literally did all of the things from the charges... but it's fine because she doesn't even have to do beach litter picking so we can forget all about it now.

YY to them all being waaay too chill about Jazzy. It the sort of reaction you'd expect if she had flu - only her closest friends occasionally asking if anyone's heard how she's doing. I'd be really upset if my friends weren't climbing the walls at the thought of me potentially being dismembered!

I guess maybe Irene's plea was not guilty due to temporary insanity caused by previous trauma so she could've been found not guilty if they thought she couldn't be held responsible for her actions. She did do it though & had plenty of time where she could've confessed if it had been a temporary insanity thing. I was fully expecting her to at least have to wear the fetching hi-vis & wave a litter picker around once or twice.

Ryder's surf lesson was daft... But I kinda want to take up surfing now! There's just the small issue of me not being able to swim... And hating water... And being cold... I wonder if I can find an indoor pool with a wave machine who would let me bring a surfboard & lots of floaties... & Maybe a snorkel or one of those diving helmets so I didn't accidentally splash water on my face... Not sure I'd fit in in Summer Bay. I hate sand too.

But I kinda want to take up surfing now!
You can surf the sheets with Dean instead!