This is hilarious though:
Dennis might have got nowhere with the ladies, but he can boast a "bitch" and a "prison whore" among the House's gay male population. Their words, not ours!
Pete and Michael have been discussing their 'Dennis roles' while the other Housemates were still in bed.
Cooking, cleaning, kitchen queen Michael has long admitted being Dennis' slave, but Pete seems himself in a very different role.
"You're his prison bitch, I'm his prison whore," claimed the pop singer. "He'd bring me perfume, lipstick and illicit goods."
"I'd just have to scrub," sighed the veteran entertainer. "He'd leave me in the kitchen and take you out to the theatre."
"And he'd buy me the dress to go in," added Pete, who has noticed some chivalrous qualities in the basketball star.
Back off, he's mine!
"If my heel broke he'd fix it, if I've got a cigarette he lights it, if I drop something he picks it up," he beamed.
"We just shout at each other," responded Michael, jealously.
"You're the mother hen, I'm his bit on the side," continued Pete. "For Christmas he'd get you an apron and oven gloves and I'd get lingerie."
Convinced that Dennis would be sending them festive gifts from LA, the pair's fantasising continued.
"He'd get me something practical, thinking I'd like it... And I would," predicted Michael dreamily. "I wouldn't ask why he never took me to the theatre."
"He watched me sleep last night," claimed Pete, turning things up a notch.
"You're his Barbie doll," confirmed Michael grudgingly.
But not quite as cute...