15yo dd had unprotected sex

[andsoithappened]

So my dd came to me and told me she had unprotected sex last Wednesday. Tried the chemist and she cannot have morning after pill under 16 without prescription. They said call 111 - they couldn’t promise how many hours it would be for a callback so I had to take her to a&e. I only had 1.5 hours to get to them chemist be within the limit for the Ella one which is 120 hours.

I just have to keep fingers crossed. They took her school name - does anyone know if it’s reported to safeguarding?

I am just glad she did open up just in time although I am not actually sure it just because she got a uti as well and was worried about that.

I have worried about this for a while as 1 - she has adhd and 2 - a lot her friends drink. It happen after a party and she had had a drink.

she was surprised I didn’t get angry - but what good would that do when it’s one time she actually spoke to me about something which she never does.

It makes no sense - why would anyone have a prescription for the morning after pill? Where would you go to get one?

HCPs should always ask for names, DOBs, and schools, of anyone under 18. It's standard safeguarding procedure and part of the Think Families approach. It doesn't mean anyone is submitting a safeguarding report. It's just something we're meant to do.

Anyway. Good for you for being supportive. She won't be the first or last teen to do something impulsive. Maybe look at getting some birth control for her when it's all settled down?

@andsoithappened Well done for remaining calm and addressing the issue at hand, you got her the best you could and put her first. You did well and obviously your daughter was pleasantly surprised at your response too. That's good OP, seriously good.

Its how we react when stuff goes wrong that counts. It was consensual sex between kids of a similar age, not good but the pair of you handled the end result well.

Yes, if an under‑16 attends A&E for emergency contraception, it will trigger a safeguarding assessment. But that does not automatically mean a report to social services. Here’s the proper UK process, step by step. I didn't know this so I have looked it up.

If a girl under 16 asks for the morning‑after pill, staff must do a safeguarding check. This is standard NHS practice.
They will look at:

• her age
• the age of the boy
• whether she understands consent
• whether she felt pressured
• whether alcohol was involved
• whether there is any risk of exploitation
• whether this is a one‑off or a pattern

This is not about punishing her, it’s about making sure she’s safe. You have already given us most of this info.

Will they automatically report it? No. A single instance of consensual sex between similar‑aged teens does not automatically trigger a referral.
They only escalate if there are concerns such as:

• the boy is significantly older
• coercion or pressure
• repeated risky behaviour
• alcohol or drugs involved
• signs of vulnerability or exploitation
• the girl cannot explain the situation clearly
• she seems frightened, confused, or distressed

If it’s consensual sex with a peer, they usually:

• give the pill
• offer STI testing
• offer contraception advice
• document the safeguarding check
• do not refer further unless something concerning comes up.

If the girl turns up with a parent it actually helps. If she is:

• calm
• supported
• able to explain
• clearly not coerced

…then staff are usually reassured and do not escalate.

Fingers crossed for you OP, but again you did the right thing and you should be proud of how you and your daughter handled it. I think your daughter maybe disappointed/scared enough to realise the importance of what she did. But yes, get her to the GP, better safe than sorry.

Well done to DD for opening up to you.

And well done to you for staying level headed, non-judgemental and doing the right thing.

She knows you’re a safe person to go to and that must mean so much knowing that she’ll likely always come to you if she has a problem.

I have ADHD and drank a lot as a teen and started becoming sexually active just turned 15. Never had unprotected sex though. I think you’re minimising this, I’d want to know who the boy/man was and why he didn’t wear protection.

What a great mum you've been! And glad your daughter confided.
Just for the record, with or without ADHD, not all 14 year olds will think of the consequences and get carried away in the moment. That's being young for you! Am glad she regrets it now, hopefully she will carry that feeling forward with her if in the same situation again.
Hope she'll be ok OP and the pill does the job. Hope too get some help with the periods too, hope doesn't have endo or something horrible like that.

Takeaway from this thread for mums - if it does happen, and your dd is younger than 15, then just say YOU need the pill, not your dd, as this idiotic palaver with prescription, etc. can bloody lead to a shitting heart attack. It is not like the GP (if you get an appointment) will perform blood and other tests, to ascertain that you dd is not going to have an adverse effect.

When I had to take it once, they asked if I wanted a coil fitting and I said no and they said “well the morning after pill isn’t contraception you know” (really patronising). Yes, I know, thanks, I will be be making sure we use a better brand of condoms from now on… anyway, I don’t think you can get it “on prescription” as that’s not what it’s for.

I was made to take the pill there and then, which I have been told is common practice so you can’t be giving them to someone else. Some of them might let you take the pill away but a friend of mine was given a hard time when she asked if she could.

Presumably the a&e already mentioned it but you need to wait 4 weeks and the. Schedule her and sti testing appointment too. Hopefully everything is clear and fine.

It's great she trusted you enough to come to you. I'd get a morning after pill in just in case there is another time. I'd also see if she is going to be sexually active about getting her implants.

She’s seven days to get the copper coil. Much more effective.

Adhd I wouldnt go with the pill. Id go for something more permanent. Like implant or injection or mirena (as it might stop periods)

If you can take her to a sexual health clinic (google your closet ones and then make an appointment) its often quicker than the GP and she can get STI testing and treatment, they can also put a mirena coil in for her.

I'd go with the mirena over the copper coil as the copper coil can cause heavier bleeding whereas the mirena thins the uterus lining and should massively reduce or stop period safely with the added benefit of being contraceptive.

Also it might be helpful if she gets an E-Card (its an app) not saying you want her to be having sex but its a scheme for under 24s to get condoms etc for free from any pharmacy. Its better than her getting an STI if she does it again and also as she gets older is worth it since it goes up to 24.

Very strange you had to go to A&E as a pharmacy should be able to give her that without a prescription but just check to see if her period comes/pregnancy tests and do further STI tests.

There's lots of good information online as well - Brook (sexual health charity) have lots of accessible information for young people and education can go a long way to improve judgement and mean she has safe access to information quickly - so that even if she delays telling you she has support.

Does she take ADHD medication or not?

@LivelyVipershe currently only takes it school days ….im wondering whether she should be having it every day to handle the poor decision making side of things……although tbh it wears off mid afternoon so not sure it would have made any difference!

If its wearing off by mid afternoon maybe go back to the psychiatrist. They can make it two pills same dose or maybe slightly higher and then 2 pills. I know lots of people do this and find it means they can still focus and work in the afternoon but because the dose isn't much higher it doesn't affect sleep etc. Might not be for her but its something she can try.

I suppose its up to her whether she only wants to take it for school but it might definitely help in other areas (again more as she gets older) but daily chores, admin, routines are all often harder with ADHD. Does she have any other support for her ADHD as they are classes and therapies etc, sort of ways to work with it, decision making, budgeting etc that might help especially as she becomes 18, might move out for uni or an apprenticeship. Look up anything in your local area or the GP or school should have recommendations.

@LivelyViper

she had a series of sessions is school called something like adhd and me.

she was prescribed a second short acting pill for afternoon but currently refuses to take it - it’s ‘embarrassing’ to have to go to the office and ask.

prescriber did say they could look at upping dose for y11 so I probably need to go back to them as well on that.

to make it more tricky she is also on the waitlist for an ASD assesment.

Probably because he was only 15 too. OP says he was in her year.

Well done OP, I think you have handled this well. Your daughter trusts you and will always be able to come to you for help.

Have you asked her about her cycle? I know kids can be hyper fertile as the boy’s sperm stays alive for longer, but she can actually only get pregnant for about 24 hours a month after the egg is released. If she’s about to come on, or early in her cycle the chances are much slimmer. Wishing you and her luck.

Can’t you just give it to her to administer to herself? She’s 15.

It was about 9/10 days into her cycle which is a worry.

It’s a controlled substance so no way can she have that on her person in school…..