15yo dd had unprotected sex

[andsoithappened]

So my dd came to me and told me she had unprotected sex last Wednesday. Tried the chemist and she cannot have morning after pill under 16 without prescription. They said call 111 - they couldn’t promise how many hours it would be for a callback so I had to take her to a&e. I only had 1.5 hours to get to them chemist be within the limit for the Ella one which is 120 hours.

I just have to keep fingers crossed. They took her school name - does anyone know if it’s reported to safeguarding?

I am just glad she did open up just in time although I am not actually sure it just because she got a uti as well and was worried about that.

I have worried about this for a while as 1 - she has adhd and 2 - a lot her friends drink. It happen after a party and she had had a drink.

she was surprised I didn’t get angry - but what good would that do when it’s one time she actually spoke to me about something which she never does.

unprotected sex paste? You have time to edit your post!

Thanks! I tried to edit while typing but for some reason the curser will never go back and just jumps forward.

Why does adhd make a difference tho? My DD has adhd & is impulsive etc but still knows the risks and drinking at 15 is common in reality. Not sure why they’d need school name tbh unless just in case it came to light that the male was over 18

I think it’s standard practice to take down the name of the school. It’s just a box on the form because sometimes the information is relevant.

it doesn’t mean there’s been a referral or anything.

Because having unprotected sex is very impulsive…

Because it does mean she doesn’t always think things through, so is far more likely to make wrong decisions. She is only just turned 15.

Re safeguarding I expect it is relevant how old her partner was.

120 hours (5 days) is way too long to wait to take the morning after pill. Sperm can only survive for 5 days anyway. The morning after pill works by delaying ovulation long enough for the sperm to die. It really needs to be taken immediately after unprotected sex to be effective.

Well unfortunately she only told me at 7.30 today and we managed to get it by 9.45 - fair play to a&e they turned it around really quickly and we were seen by the doctor within half an hour of getting there.

This one says take within 120 hours - it may not be ideal but it’s better than not taking anything

You must be so worried OP. But you've handled it perfectly. I hope things work out.

Longer term, is it worth putting DD on the implant or similar?

No practical help OP but it’s great your daughter came to you. Try and keep that line of communication open with her and tell her she’s done the right thing in that respect. I’m sure she knows she’s made a big mistake and the last thing she needs to feel is judged and ashamed. Sounds like you’ve been really supportive.

Where do you live I'm in england and took my 14 year old to get the morning after pill and didn't need a prescription

Why do you want to know if it’s reported to safeguarding?

If she’s impulsive and likely to do this again I’d suggest she gets the implant or injection. She may not remember to take a daily pill either.

It is really brilliant that she told you.
She must trust you and feel safe with you. You're obviously doing a great job.
I hope your DD will be ok.

It might be - she has really bad periods as well so that something I’ve been wondering about the pill as an option - we were going to make an appointment to see the gp about that anyway.

i surprised myself how calm I have been - think I went into fix it mode.

I am cross but she absolutely regrets it - it was consensual at the time - she said it’s someone she has known a long time in her year but she definately regrets it now.

So that I can prepare her. I already speak with them extensively as she has self harmed in the past. I have also spoken to them because she will do things she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to upset people and I had flagged that I had concerns around this as she had got a boyfriend. I just didn’t know if these sort of things get flagged with them.

I’m in London. They told me no under 16’s without prescription and as it was just past 8pm this was the only place open.

@carrotsRusyes she never ever tells me anything that’s going on in her head so getting angry would have just ruined any hope of her ever opening up again. Hopefully she sees she can talk to me and will open up more in future.

Some judgy comments here. Op i have adhd and ...related or not ...I was an incredibly impulsive and chaotic teenager. I made plenty of poor decisions drank too much took drugs and had sex when I shouldn't have.

I'm now a very normal boring adult . Ive been married 15 years and have kids . I am a totally sober and sensible person!

I just want yo reassure you thst plenty of wild teens are just being normal risk takers. Sounds like she trusts you which is great.

How odd I've never known a pharmacy say this

Yes this is bollocks, free emergency contraception can be supplied to any girl aged 13 and over as there is a national NHS patient group direction now. You can’t buy it unless you’re 16 or over however.

maybe I will question it with them tomorrow - I was more worried about getting something sorted in the time I had an have never even looked up what is and isn’t allowed.

I have endometriosis (only diagnosed in my 30’s) and when I was your daughters age my periods were horrific.

The mini pill (cerelle) has worked wonders for me. Could be an option for your daughter, although with her having ADHD it may be a struggle for her to remember to take it everyday at the same time.

But fingers crossed she is free from STI’s and no unwanted pregnancy.

What others have said. What you were told is completely wrong. The only restriction I could find is you have to be over 16 to buy it from an online pharmacy.

Well done, OP - you're 100% right that it's great your daughter (eventually) opened up to you and it seems like you've handled it well.

For the minority of posters saying otherwise - those with ADHD are at massively higher risk of all sorts of negative outcomes linked to impulsivity including unprotected sex or just generally sex they will regret later; drug and alcohol-taking (also linked to - consciously or unconsciously - self-medicate ADHD symptoms) and many other things including certain kinds of driving accidents. The OP was right to draw the link.

I'd say getting her access to ongoing contraception is a good idea, if you do get through this particular scare unscathed, OP.